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The Latest Articles by Tim Ferguson

The Ferguson Report: Better the Satanic conspiracy you know

Beelzebub must be taking it easy down there in the Infernal Pit, Tim Ferguson reckons, because only 17% believe in a vast Satanic cabal

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Harry and Meghan headlines still making you look?

Maven of mirth Tim Ferguson brings his take on the news, starting with Harry and Meghan and joking all the way to the Voice referendum

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Washington’s ultra-conservative rebels are revolting

A gun club of Ultra-conservative Republicans have rebelled against House majority leader hopeful, Kevin McCarthyism.

The New Daily

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The Ferguson Report: Australia won’t start next cold war until the subs arrive

The final Ferguson Report of 2022 predicts the fake news headlines of 2023 ... GOVERNMENT FINALLY ADMITS RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE GOVERNMENT The Albanese

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Liberals’ election review finds some equalities more equal than others

A gender target is like a mandate or a quota without the weight, meaning or likelihood of happening in our wildest dreams.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: B-21 bombers may be a stealth, wealth and health hazard

A new report says Australia should consider buying B-21 stealth bomber. Seriously.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Bali ‘bonk ban’ fundamental as anything

Tim Ferguson breaks down this week's news – including Indonesia's decision outlawing of sex outside marriage.

The New Daily

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The Ferguson Report: Morrison gets through ‘not-sorry’ speech without smirking

Tim Ferguson breaks down this week's news, starting with Scott Morrison's not-sorry speech to the Australian parliament.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: ScoMo walks away Scott-Morrison-free

Tim Ferguson breaks down this week's news – including the multiple ministries of Scott Morrison.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report (Satire): Donald and Melania plan romantic ceremony to renew pre-nup

Tim Ferguson breaks down this week's news - including Donald Trump's announcement.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Australia now a swizzle stick carrier on the world stage

America refuses to confirm or deny its refusal to confirm or deny plans to station B-52 nuclear bombers in a Darwin love shack.

The New Daily

Ferguson Report: Donald Trump convinced presidency is up for gropes

The Ferguson Report can confirm Trump will run for president to avoid jail. That, and other, hot takes and news scoops from Tim Ferguson.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Reserve Bank claims banking is ‘perfectly normal, everybody does it’

After the sixth rate rise, a reserved banker said, "We have to stop meetings like this." Here are Ferguson’s takes on the week’s headlines.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Ukraine referendum voted on by last three people left alive

The 1 per cent who voted against Vladimir Putin's annexation vote will receive re-education from a firing squad.

The New Daily

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The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: PM decides a republic is best if run by Britain

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has kiboshed holding a republic referendum after discovering our new head of state would be an Australian.

The New Daily

Tim Ferguson: Rings of Power’s diversity doesn’t include Hobbits with disabilities

A fan of Lord of the Rings spin-off explains the show's inclusion stops at characters with disabilities because "Middle Earth has no wheelchair ramps."

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Peter Dutton wants us all to ‘stop doing that’

As his first oppositional act, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton opposed the Jobs and Skills Summit, saying it should stop ... then slowly reverse.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Governor-General ‘acts on government advice’ unlike anyone rational

Warning: acting on the advice of the government if your Governor-General does not mean that the "government" has given that "advice".

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The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Scott Morrison increases unemployment by taking all the jobs

In his latest career move, former prime minister Scott Morrison has revealed he has joined Circus Oz, as a portfolio juggler.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: FBI raid finds proof of Donald Trump witch hunt

The FBI has raided Donald Trump's Mar-A-Lago mansion looking for more evidence of a lack of evidence.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: RBA admits inflation will drop as soon as we all go broke

A complete banker refused to apologise for lowering interest rates to lure first-time buyers. "They'll soon be first-time sellers! At half the price."

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Morrison isn’t making an impression on his backbench seat

Scott Morrison's seat in Parliament is filled by a lonely ukulele. Meanwhile, he's in Tokyo trying to explain why he doesn't trust governments.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Ex-PM doesn’t trust government. Well, he should know!

Former PM Scott Morrison has encouraged putting faith in God, not governments. He didn't explain why he never mentioned it before.

The New Daily

The Ferguson Report: Record as US goes entire school day without mass shooting

American teachers are celebrating the brief opportunity to teach classes without having to whisper in terrified huddles.

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