A Liberal Party post-election review demands a ‘target’ for equal parliamentary gender representation.
“A target is like a mandate or a quota without the weight, meaning or likelihood of happening in our wildest dreams,” said an activist for Equality For Women Only.
“None of the political parties mandate equal representation for people with disabilities, or racial and ethnic minorities,” the activist said.
“But don’t quota me on that.”
EXPLOSIVE BOMBSHELL ROCKS FAMILY FOR YOUR TABLOID ENTERTAINMENT
A Wagga Wagga family is embroiled in a Wagga-wide media feeding frenzy.
Wagga watchers are outraged the youngest son has married a girl and moved to faraway Wollongong.
“Who does she think she is?” asked a neighbour who doesn’t know who she is.
“She’s filled that boy’s head with crazy notions of independence, true love and freedom from dysfunctional antiquities.”
Meanwhile, the media deny remembering the tragic death of the boy’s mother who was hounded by paparazzi and nosey parkers with nothing better to bitch about.
HOMEOPATHY ONLY 0.0000000001 PER CENT BULLTWANG
The billion-dollar Australian homeopathy industry has been affirmed with shocking but miniscule research.
A homeopath high on Emergency Fluid (i.e., water) said: “The research is not peer-reviewed or double-blind tested. It’s the real stuff – anecdotal.”
Homeopaths agree anecdotal evidence (evidence based on what happened to Nanna that one time) beats actual evidence.
Australia’s main medical advisory body, the National Health and Medical Research Council, claims: “Homeopathy should not be used to treat health conditions that are chronic or serious.”
Try telling that to Nanna.
May she rest in peace.
TRUMP REJECTS CHARGES, SAYS HE HASN’T BEEN ABLE TO GET AN INSURRECTION FOR YEARS
Criminal charges have been recommended against US Capitol riot “ringleader” Donald Trump because none of the other witch hunts worked.
An investigation found the former US president “summoned the mob” to Capitol Hill and incited the crowd with “winks, nudges and eyebrow wiggles”.
Fifty per cent of Americans will not believe a guilty verdict. The other 50 per cent already believe it, even though it doesn’t exist yet.
Trump is currently selling digital NFT Trump cards. (NFT trading cards are like cryptocurrency but less believable.)
In his trading card advertisement, Trump said he is “better than George Washington and Abraham Lincoln”.
Perhaps he meant he is feeling better.
In other news …
FIJI LEADER WHO SEIZED POWER IN COUP BEATS OTHER FIJI LEADER WHO SEIZED POWER IN COUP
HIPPIE BUSTED FOR DEALING SPINACH
BIDEN MEETS ZELENSKY IN OVAL OFFICE, TRUMP SEXTS PUTIN FROM PANIC ROOM
ACTORS AND CLOWNS SENT TO BOOST RUSSIAN ARMY MORALE SHOT BY BOTH SIDES
RICH BASTARD TIPPED TO WIN SYDNEY TO HOBART
WACKY CONSPIRACY THEORIST BELIEVES SANTA IS A HOAX