A new report says Australia should consider buying the US’s new B-21 stealth bomber. Seriously.
But the Department of Defence admitted the B-21 is so stealthy, “We may already own a squadron without knowing it.”
A squadron of 12 B-21’s costs $28 billion not including weapons, dealer charges and rego.
At $2.3 billion each, the bombers will boost our economy by being built in a part of Australia known as America.
Because the price doesn’t include bombs, the Air Force plans to drop leaflets with stern wording.
The report says the bombers will give Australia long-range strike capability “against potential attackers”. ‘Potential attackers’ includes everybody in the world, including us.
Defence Minister and Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles described the B-21 as a “very cool looking” aircraft, “and it’ll only cost a cool 28 billion”.
Australia now has a choice. We can have three squadrons or keep the education system, Medicare and the NDIS.
MINISTER TO REVEAL CYBER SECURITY STRATEGY AS SOON AS SHE CANCELS CREDIT CARDS
Australia ranks worst in the world for data breaches. A cybersecurity expert paused from play-lunch to say, “Twenty-two accounts are hacked every minute and they are sick of it.”
One hacker said the information overload is a pain in the button. So another hacker hacked the hacker’s information and sold it.
In response to the crisis, the government has promised to fight them on the breaches.
A government spokesman suffering cyber-insecurity said, “We’re determining whether companies can continue to avoid the cost of deleting your information by letting hackers take it for free.”
Anyone fearful of their accounts being hacked should contact the nephew of the exiled Prince of Nigeria.
ROBO-SCOMO
Former prime minister Scott “I Reject The Premise Of Your Question” Morrison has faced, about-faced and red-faced the royal commission into the illegal Robodebt Scheme.
Through his helpful interjections, digressions and equivocations, Mr Morrison proved Robodebt never happened. And if it did (which it didn’t) it was someone else’s fault.
The Liberal Party has vowed that, when it forms government, it will instigate a vengeful royal commission into the forming of vengeful royal commissions.
Morrison repeatedly attempted to turn the other cheek, until he ran out of cheeks.
Earlier this year, Morrison said, “We don’t trust in governments.” It’s not clear why he told the royal commission that he trusted his department.
Commissioner Catherine Holmes cautioned Morrison for beating around the burning bush.
In other news…
JAMES CAMERON VOWS AVATAR SEQUELS WILL BE BIGGEST MOVIES EVER, OR HE’LL KEEP MAKING THEM
DOCTOR WHO TO INTRODUCE NEW ENEMY THAT’S PART DALEK, PART POKER MACHINE
SAUDI ARABIA BIDDING FOR 2030 WORLD CUP, PROMISES 300 WORKER DEATHS MAX
CONTAMINATED SPINACH ALERT WELCOMED BY CHILDREN EVERYWHERE
