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The Latest Breaking News from Convict

Baffled, punch-drunk Boris Johnson is forced to contemplate a moral universe

The former PM sneaked into the Covid inquiry and mumbled an apology. He was blindsided by the most obvious questions

The Guardian - UK

Impervious to advice or rules, Johnson held up the shield of stupidity

The Convict ignored his well-paid legal team to mount a defence blind to logic

The Guardian - UK

Gagging for Rish! It’s a second coming for Sunak, the silent messiah

As Boris Johnson and Penny Mordaunt drop out, the 1922 Committee manages to dodge a democratic vote

The Guardian - UK

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At peace with herself, Librium Liz re-embraces her own mediocrity

Suddenly, the rejects and The Convict have another shot. Give it time till someone suggests Liz again

The Guardian - UK

The Convict departs in a haze of self-delusion, playing the victim card to the last

Boris Johnson’s final speech outside No 10 betrayed no recognition that he was the architect of his own downfall

The Guardian - UK

Truss and Sunak: completely unreliable narrators of their own campaigns

The Tory leadership hopefuls hit the hustings willing to say any old nonsense that might go down well with members

The Guardian - UK

Tory MPs indulge in a mawkish farewell for their poundshop Arnie

‘Hasta la vista, baby,’ he said – he’s torn the party apart once, and he’ll happily do it all over again

The Guardian - UK

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The Tories have a death wish. Truss looks set to make it to the last two with Rish!

Is the rise of the ideologue without ideas a cunning plan to destroy the Conservative party from within?

The Guardian - UK

Leadership debate infighting too toxic even for the Tories

The third instalment didn’t happen after Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak pulled out, while Boris maundered on in the Commons

The Guardian - UK

Truss perplexes her fellow MPs with robotic pitch for Tory leader role, upstaging the Maybot

Truss had only one thing to throw into the ring once she found the door – and it was still The Convict

The Guardian - UK

Fainting room only at Penny Mordaunt’s swelteringly dull leadership launch

Her eyes welled up as if to make it clear she agreed with herself – and was profoundly moved by what she was saying

The Guardian - UK

As Tories queue up to fill the Convict’s shoes, we are now officially in gameshow territory

Hopefuls deliver a word salad of fantasy economics and flannel as they launch leadership campaigns

The Guardian - UK

Raab hits his nadir defending The Convict – then it all hits the fan

At the end of a day of embarrassment and existential despair for the Tories, two cabinet members quit

The Guardian - UK

MPs give Boris Johnson a soft landing after a week of summiteering

The PM got off lightly over Chris Pincher – lucky for him as his backbenchers seemed to have better things to do than back him

The Guardian - UK

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The Guardian - UK

His suit a mess, bags under his eyes, jet-set Boris still thinks he’s a catch

Vladimir Putin might not fancy him much, but buoyed by his halfwit foreign secretary, the PM wound up some happy travels

The Guardian - UK

Rayner outwits a condescending Raab in a bloodless PMQs pantomime

The Convict had escaped, so the Tory and Labour deputies ran through the motions in a knockabout that was pure ritual

The Guardian - UK

Of course the Convict wouldn’t resign – that’s for little people like Dowden

‘The way forward is not to focus on personalities,’ said the man whose whole career has been built on his personality

The Guardian - UK

Boris produces bubbles of nonsense when quizzed about Carrie

A Labour question rattled Johnson at PMQs, and then a revitalised Keir Starmer pounced

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The Guardian - UK

Grant Shapps’s rail strike blame game joins fellow ministers’ absurdities in a vision of Tory Wonderland

Transport secretary absolves himself of responsibility for transport as Boris Johnson and Liz Truss turn the screw on all sense

The Guardian - UK

Lord Geidt, the ultimate stooge, struggles to maintain the illusion of authority

Independent adviser on ministers’ interests sounded as if he had never read the ‘independent’ part of the job description

The Guardian - UK

Priti Vacant leaves it to others to defend Rwanda deportations

The home secretary inexplicably declined the chance to update MPs on how well the refugee flights policy was going

The Guardian - UK

Olives, bananas, train ticket staff … Big Dog Boris takes a grotesque Blackpool ramble

A fatally damaged PM laid bare the poverty of his ambition in a speech that was a model of futility

The Guardian - UK

Starmer fails to electrify Commons after bum notes from prime minister unplugged

Labour leader lands few blows on embattled Boris Johnson, almost as if he wanted to ensure PM wasn’t damaged too badly

The Guardian - UK

Operation Save Big Dog ramps up the day after the Boris music died

From the delusional to purely transactional, MPs queued up with excuses for backing the PM

The Guardian - UK

Day of pleading and threats ends with Boris Johnson in post. Just about

Prime minister has won the vote but lost his leadership after Tories finally turn on him in large numbers

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