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The Latest Breaking News from Adrian Chiles

Why is so much of life spent clearing up?

Whatever I turn my hand to, I leave behind a chaotic mess. If tidiness is next to godliness, there’s no hope for me, writes Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

Few men can really rock a moustache. Timothée Chalamet is not one of them

The actor seems to have inspired a generation of young chaps to grow wispy caterpillars on their upper lips. When it comes to facial hair, I’ve learned it’s best to go big or go home, writes Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

Who could deny a hot, tired delivery driver the fruit from their cherry tree?

All the poor man wanted was fresh fruit from the tree in front of my flat. I would have needed a heart of stone to refuse him, writes Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

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Donald Trump is the lord of the edgelords

Letters: The word edgelord may have been unfamiliar to Adrian Chiles – but Anthony Lawton says we’re all victims of the online provocateurs, one of them in particular

The Guardian - UK

The latest Andrex advert is a life-changing masterpiece

In scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something new to say about toilet paper, they’ve struck gold. If I had seen this as a kid, it would saved me years of fear and shame, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I knew everyone would hate my mustard shorts. That didn’t stop me buying them

I can’t explain what was going through my mind my when I splashed out on them. But I’ve spent three years trying to make amends, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I’ve learned a new word – and now I’m seeing the people it describes everywhere

Do you spout controversial opinions, even if you don’t believe them, just to attract attention? There’s a name for you (and me), writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

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My signed tie is up for auction. I don’t think even my mum would buy it

It dates back to the time when I was hot television property, but the embarrassingly low £10 starting price speaks for itself, writes Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

Gary Lineker was once my rival. I feel no shame in saying I was beaten by the best

Through dedication and sheer graft, the football legend transformed himself from a hopeless presenter into an elite one. It’s unlikely we will ever see that happen again, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

It can be hard to end a phone call. But ‘Okaybye’ is not the way to do it

I’m not necessarily expecting a ‘love you’ from the person on the other end of the line – but don’t make me feel I’ve outstayed my welcome, writes Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I went to the pub with an old friend – and headed home at 9.30pm. Is anyone still there for last orders?

I couldn’t find a single pub that stayed open late for VE Day last week. No wonder when they’re so often empty by 11pm, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

How are you supposed to handle cold callers nowadays? You can’t even slam the phone down

I’m being plagued by a particularly pushy estate agent. I’ve tried blocking them, reasoning with them, even barking at them. And still they keep coming back for more, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I’ll never play golf like Rory McIlroy. But maybe he can teach me how to live with my mistakes

I need to stop dwelling on everything I get wrong, from sending my ball into the drink to squeezing the wrong bottom, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I loathe pigeons. You wouldn’t believe what they do to my downpipe

These noisy, filthy, feral creatures make my life a misery. Is there really no way to get rid of them, asks Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

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The Guardian - UK

In a world full of wedgies, are you a wedger like Trump, or a wedgee like me?

There are two sorts of people – those who pull others’ underwear, and those who have their underwear pulled. And we’d never have known it without the Lib Dems’ Ed Davey, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I thought seasonal affective disorder was a myth. Then I saw the joy that spring can bring

I’ve loved watching people perk up as the weather improves. It lifts the heart as much as any spring flower, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

Hell is other people who won’t wear headphones

Letters: Readers respond to Adrian Chiles’s piece about the loud use of phones on public transport with no consideration for others

The Guardian - UK

Go off grid? Where would I get my meds, compression socks and corn removers?

Am I just too fussy or too old? Either way I’m not cut out for a life in the wilderness, writes Adrian Chiles

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The Guardian - UK

Yes, I have just done a naked forward roll. But there was a good reason

There I was, lying in bed and worrying I’d lost a basic life skill. Can you blame me for putting it to the test, asks Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

What do young people really think about us oldies? I asked a few

Why is the moral panic only ever about younger generations? It’s time we heard what confuses or worries them about us, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I trust Which? to help me choose a washing machine. But I have my own views on kitchen roll and toilet paper

I’m in awe of the organisation’s rigorous approach to product testing. That doesn’t mean I need it for everything, writes Adrian Chiles

Evening Standard

What the papers say – March 22

Heathrow Airport’s sudden closure dominates Saturday’s front pages.

The Guardian - UK

Daybreak is a magical time in a big city, no matter how tired you are

London, Manchester, Cardiff, Birmingham – I have favourite early-morning memories from each of them, writes Adrian Chiles

The Guardian - UK

I twanged my achilles playing pickleball. Here’s what it taught me about tendons – and human nature

You learn so much when you’re forced to clop around town in a great big boot, writes Adrian Chiles. And you make so many friends …

The Guardian - UK

Remote controls, tumble dryers, documentaries … do we have to make everything so complicated?

I’m not saying everything was better in the good old days – but a lot of things really don’t need the latest bells and whistles, writes Adrian Chiles

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