It’s a hard and fast rule that those with very strong opinions on what’s manly are the least confident men around. Yesterday, the nation raised a collective eyebrow when Fox News host Jesse Watters revealed his “rules for men”.
This was in response to Tim Walz saying that MAGA “obsessively” focused on his masculinity during the election, with them zeroing in on him engaging in the notoriously feminine activity of uh, drinking a milkshake. Watters then jokily dropped his commandments:
- You don’t eat soup in public.
- You don’t cross your legs, ever.
- You don’t drink from a straw.
- You don’t “wave simultaneously with two hands”.
Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett (inevitably R) took the straw commandment wholly seriously. In a quick interview with Fox News, the idea was put to him, and he drawled: “I don’t drink out of a straw brother. That’s what the women in my house do.”
Congressman Tim Burchett: “I don’t drink out of a straw, brother. That’s what the women in my house do.”
— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) May 23, 2025
Alright, tough guy. pic.twitter.com/6S0xf5SCvN
The justification for this is, apparently, that drinking from a straw causes your lips to purse and pout in an overly feminine manner. To be honest, I’ve never noticed this, though I don’t generally monitor men’s lips that closely.
Responses were more bewildered than angry. It was rapidly pointed out that: “Your gender identity is threatened by a straw… therapy, not Congress.”, “Imagine your manhood being so fragile you’re afraid to drink out of a straw”, and that he’s “one of the least “manly men” in Congress.”
It should also be noted that Trump himself is a noted fan of plastic straws and has strong opinions about straws in general. One of his first acts on returning to office was to sign an executive order bring back plastic straws and getting rid of paper ones, saying:
“These things don’t work, I’ve had them many times, and on occasion, they break, they explode. If something’s hot, they don’t last very long, like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds. It’s a ridiculous situation,”
US president Donald Trump appears to deny the environmental impact of plastic & signs an executive order to bring back plastic straws, claiming paper ones 'explode'
— Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) February 11, 2025
Heaven help us pic.twitter.com/ciQlg3maap
I can only feel deep sympathy for the women in Burchett’s house and wonder what other crazy ideas are floating around in that weird brain of his. But, even though they seem to be living with a man with… odd views on masculinity, at least they have a license to do as much straw-drinking as they desire.
