Do you ever dream of just starting over? Completely changing your life and rewriting your destiny… You’re not the only one. But while some people stay stuck, others throw caution to the wind, and actually do it. Leaving your old life behind is a brave and daring move. Especially when you have no solid plan in place and no idea what the future holds.
People have been sharing the drastic moves they made to get where they are today. For some, it meant letting go of a job, religion, family or friends. Others went all in, officially changing their names and moving away. Then there are those who disappeared without telling a soul. Each story is unique and Bored Panda has put together the best of them.
They might even inspire you to come unstuck. Because, as Benjamin Button once said, “It's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same.”
#1
I wasn’t the one who left.. but here’s what it’s like being on the other side of things. My best friend left about a year ago. After putting the pieces together.. it really was to start fresh. At first, she left everyone. But I’m the one who was most affected. Purely because it was completely out of the blue. It was really like she had died. She just ghosted me and never came back. I still think about her sometimes.. but I will never forget that day and the weeks that came after. I was a wreck. I cried everyday.. I had multiple breakdowns out of nowhere and all I wanted was to talk to her because she always made me feel better.. but I couldn’t. Because she was no longer there.
In a way, it was like a breakup..except, we were just really close friends. A breakup because of the way I felt inside when she left. I found out the reasons on my own. I spoke to a lot of people who also knew her well and I even spoke to her mom. When I found out the truth, I broke our promise. I regret that but I was so heartbroken that I just lost my mind. For Christmas that last year, she made us friendship necklaces.. I loved mine and wore it every single day. Even after she left, I wore it as a token I guess you could say.. in my head, I told myself “As long as I have this, we will see each other again.” It broke the night I met my first boyfriend. I remember when it broke.. I panicked and tried so hard to fix it but nothing could do it.. My last piece of her was gone. I kept the broken parts but it wasn’t the same.
The relationship we had was one of the most precious things to me.. I’ve only had 1 other relationship that meant that much after that. I pushed everyone out for the longest time. I never smiled and I hated everyone. Even through my first 2 real relationships, I was distant and sometimes cold. Nothing could replace that closeness we had.. not even a real relationship. Then it did. And I finally got my closure. I put everything of hers in a box and hid it away. I deleted her number and erased all of her pictures on my phone. I even stopped going to church because that was the last place I saw her... I go now but not nearly as often.
I still miss her and think about her.. I was never angry but I just wanted to know why.. and even though I know, I still want her to tell me. I understand that she isn’t coming back nor does she want to.. I hope she has a good life and I hope that the reason she left was a cause to make her “better” some would say. She was fine but some didn’t believe that. (It was a church thing) and they didn’t really accept it. All I can say now, is I know it was my fault. Everyone says it’s not. But it was. I didn’t do anything to her but the things that she felt for me on her side were too much. So she just disappeared. I guess that’s my regret.. that I didn’t speak to her about that on the last day I ever saw her. But hey, I’m ok now. I understand and I just wish her all the happiness in the world.
Image credits: Aryk04
#2
I became homeless, I got back on my feet, got a job, then I got a home and two cats. I regret nothing.
Image credits: AlistairH94
#3
I'm the type of person who lives with no regrets. Moving 4000 miles away from everything and everybody I've ever known has been one of the greatest/most difficult things I've ever done. I didn't exactly 'disappear' but I think everyone understands that I don't expect any visitors any time soon. I did it for me. Sorry, not sorry.
And it has been difficult in many ways. Moving is easy, it's the adjustment to the environment that's hard. I happened to move to a place most people consider to be paradise (Hawaii), but there is a dark underbelly you cannot possibly understand until you live here. Racism runs rampant, income inequality is among the worst in the world, and there are few jobs outside of tourism/hospitality. And that just scratches the surface of the issues here.
That being said, this place *is* paradise and it has afforded me a wonderful opportunity to finally finish my degree, and to connect with nature in ways I could not elsewhere. The possibility of being in the ocean 365 days a year at the drop of a hat, whether that's surfing, fishing, diving, canoeing, etc., is not something I, nor anybody (truly) living here takes for granted.
I barely did any research before moving here. I never even visited. That's because I'm slightly reckless. I knew Hawaii had good weather, good waves, and was expensive as hell. I wouldn't recommend that strategy to anyone. What I would recommend is exercising some due diligence in terms of researching a location to determine if it has the things you're looking for--whether that's climate, jobs, affordability, recreation, nightlife, population, culture, etc., and decide to move based on those parameters.
Or just do whatever. We've only got one life to live. Might as well make it an interesting one.
Image credits: swaite
#4
Not really disappeared, but I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. It was all I ever knew.
In a nutshell, this is the type of religion where a collective (borg) mind is programmed from your early days. Their studies are set-up in such a way that it will prevent you from asking yourself too much difficult questions.
As long as you're inside, you don't see it like this. It feels protective, safe from all the evil outside.
I married when I was 23, with literally the smartest girl I've ever met in that religion, she was 20 at that moment. We felt like adults but we never really experienced a lot. Her beautiful mind triggered something in my head, I had a very low level of education and suddenly I wanted to go to college. It took me 2 years of preparation (in Dutch: MavoD and Havo5) and at my 25th I stopped with my full time job to study for 4 years in a row.
When I was 29 I had a master degree in Computer Science :)
Now what was the side-effect of all the changes above? I came in contact with a lot of non believers. People with different mindsets, their own mindsets. I noticed more and more that my own mind was programmed by a collective group of people. Just a stupid example, but smoking is not allowed as a Jehovah's Witness. Why not? It's bad for your health. You know what is allowed? Eating 10 cakes a day! There is not rule for that. Now what does this with your mind? You don't learn yourself what is good or not good for yourself. You learn what the community flags as good or bad.
During my study, me and my wife decided to disconnect ourselves from the religion. First in baby-steps, just stop attending meetings for one or two weeks and see what happens. And ofcourse, people show-up and ask why we did not join the meetings. This went on and on and after a year we never joined any meeting anymore. We build up our own life, new friends, focus on study and each other.
When I was 30 or 31 years old, I suddenly questioned myself about my marriage. I still think this was a side-effect of stopping with JW and wanting to revisit every old decision again, making sure it was my decision. Without wanting it, it felt like waking up from a dream. I suddenly wanted to be free. I wanted to experience falling in love as a non JW. I wanted to find out how that was like. I also realized that I still had a very nice, smart and good looking wife. It just in a glitch didn't feel like my wife anymore. I've cried, felt scared, angry etc... but couldn't find the on-switch anymore.
I kept this for myself for 6 months, but eventually I had to tell her. I started to get feelings for someone else too. I never meant to hurt her in anyway, but I did. 6 months later she already had someone else, not a year later she got pregnant. It took us about 2 years before we could just go out and laugh about the good old times. We still regularly join for a lunch or drinks and I see why I loved her, she is still cute.
After my divorce I moved to another city. In the years before I left all my friends and family, most still Jehovah's Witness. So I was like 31, starting over completely. No friends, no family living close by, no history. A mind that was ready to be programmed with my own experiences.
Currently 44, married with a great wife, daughter, own house, self employed in IT. Really happy!
Image credits: MeneerWolf
#5
I left the US to teach overseas. At the time I told my then girlfriend it would be for a year, but I was leaving to get away from her and all the despair I had allowed to permeate my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
I changed, met new people, got back into decent shape, and met a woman that I married about 8 years later. But it was a process, I had some heavy depression that hung around my neck like an albatross.
I still haven't gone back home save to visit family and an interrim where I was looking to see if the wife and I could settle more easily in the US or in her home country. We chose her home country.
You can leave and change, but it won't be instant and you have to put in the work. Some of your issues may never disappear, so be prepared to recognize that you may have to work with and through your demons forever.
Image credits: kelryngrey
#6
I moved to middle America in 2009 after the housing market crash. There was work there. Got to be honest it was a really hard transition. I went to a place where I knew no one and had no real safety net. For the first three years I lived in poverty. After bills I had approximately 10-20 bucks a week for food. There were some weeks where it was as low as 5. But things got better and now. I own a home, have a wife, and a job that is rewarding and pays well. I definitely would not have changed those hard years though. Now I can really appreciate all the things that at one point I took for granted.
Image credits: no1everl00ksatnames
#7
I've moved away and changed my name and cut ties a number of times, I have also been so low in life because of it. Its humbled me if anything. I didn't owe anyone money or was wanted by the law, I just wanted to restart again and again and again. I've finally gotten to a place in this life that I think I'll extend my stay. The one thing I regret is not staying connected with my family enough. Things are different now I can fix what I've left to rust.
Image credits: florescent_canvas
#8
I dropped out of college and stopped talking to almost all of my high school friends after I went into severe anxiety and depression. I think excluding myself from other people was the best decision of my life at the time. It gave me more time to be with myself and work through the problems I was facing. It gave me more independence. I wasn't looking for approval from anyone. I did what I wanted.
The seclusion and meditation has helped me so much. It gives me time to reflect on my life and be focused on what really matters.
Image credits: steventhesong
#9
I didn't "disappear." I just made a tough decision. Dating was miserable for me in the smallish town I lived in from 2006-2011. First job out of college so I was more worried about the job opportunity than the town. Got to some very low places living there. Only redeeming quality was the number of family members nearby. Ended up regularly driving 1-2 hours just to meet people but it wasn't a long term solution.
Job transfer opportunity opened up for NYC. Got it. Went on more dates in the first month living in NYC than the previous 2 years.
Met my (now) wife 1.5 months into my move. We've been together for like 8.5 years, married for over 6. Prior to meeting her my biggest adventure was Cancun, but now I've been all over the world, really. Saw and did things I never dreamt of back in the 2000s.
And then there's the career. If I had been happy in my small town, I could do perfectly well for myself. Based on my experiences gained in NY and CA, I'm living a life I probably don't deserve. And now I'm getting recruited for executive positions with double the great salary I already had. So I'll be able to help my family out even more, making their lives easier.
If you're unhappy, change your situation. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Image credits: uncleoce
#10
In 2003. Aged 32. Marriage had broken down, ended up in a series of short-term jobs over about a year. Got jack of it. Changed name, moved two states away (it's Australia - states are bigger here). Started afresh.
It's not like I was trying to hide. Just that I didn't bother to tell 95% of the people I knew that I'd gone or where I'd gone.
Image credits: DermottBanana
#11
One day I realized my family was very negative about life, did everything they could to cut me down and anything I achieved, they would look for faults. So I moved 3 hour drive away, bought a house, started a new job and completely love it.
In 15 years, nobody from my family has visited me, met my children nor my wife. I do get a call from my mother now and then but other than that, nobody has seen me. I don't miss them one little bit.
Image credits: corneo134
#12
Being able to start over as whoever you want is liberating. Talking to people who can't judge you for your past is amazing!
Image credits: NIQUARIOUS
#13
I used to retreat away from people for years on end. I enjoy the solitude of it but I can't recommend it to anyone.
Image credits: vDorothyv
#14
13 years ago I moved to Phoenix from Chicago. I went for work but I also went for the weather (I have really bad seasonal depression) and to leave my toxic family behind. Maybe the best decision I ever made.
Image credits: anon
#15
I've done this 3 times in my life. I'll tell you that when I'm gone for good I mean dead I'll be able to say I sought adventure an conqured.
Image credits: bodicyrus
#16
A couple weeks after I turned 18 I moved back to Florida from North Carolina after being depressed and just generally sad, I worked 2 jobs to save up and took everything I knew I'd need but left behind what was essentially my only family left, my mom and sister. It was the best decision of my life because now, after struggling for over a year to get back on my feet, I am finally becoming the man I've always wanted to be. I ran because I knew I was meant to do something greater, and knew I'd have to sacrifice a lot to do it, but I realized that me being happy is all I've ever wanted, so I went for it.
Image credits: Kyriteon
