Jimmy Kimmel
The former congresswoman Liz Cheney released a new book and, as Jimmy Kimmel noted on Monday evening, the former president, predictably, had something to say about it. On Truth Social, Trump discussed “Crazy Liz Cheney, who suffers from Trump Derangement Syndrome at a level rarely seen before” and denied he was depressed and not eating – “It was not that I was not eating, it was that I was eating too much,” he wrote.
“For once, I believe him,” said Kimmel. “Why would he mention this? Whatever someone says, he has to say the opposite. He can’t help it. Call him unstable, call him dumb, he says he’s a stable genius. You mention his crowd size is small? He says it’s the biggest crowd in history. Say he wasn’t eating? He says I was eating too much.
“I would like to have some fun with this and see what we can get him to contradict,” he continued. “Like, I say, ‘Trump looks terrible in women’s shoes’ and he’s like, ‘No one looks better than Trump in women’s shoes.’”
Trump, meanwhile, continued to hit the 2024 campaign trail with another event in Iowa. His rallies have become “like a professional wrestling event”, said Kimmel. “Even Fox News had to break in this weekend to announce that what he was saying wasn’t true. Every rally now, he complains that the election was stolen, he says windmills are killing whales, he calls Chris Christie a fat pig and then he closes with his signature female weightlifter routine.”
And in congressional news, George Santos was finally removed from the House of Representatives on Friday by a vote of 311-114. Shortly afterward, House staff changed the locks to his office. “How funny would it be if they opened that door today and a hundred purses came tumbling out,” Kimmel said.
Santos still, however, technically has access to the House floor, cafeteria and gym. “George Santos is like that ex who still has the key to our apartment,” Kimmel mused.
The Daily Show
There's nothing funny about people losing their jobs. Unless it's George Santos. pic.twitter.com/Z3IDSiVr3o
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) December 5, 2023
Santos may be gone, and the locks on his office changed, but “I’m not sure that’s going to do anything,” said Charlamagne Tha God as guest host of The Daily Show. “This guy stole money from a sick service dog. You think he wouldn’t crawl through an air vent?
“This might be unpopular, but I don’t think George Santos should’ve been expelled,” he added. First, “we were all safer when we knew where this dude was. Now he can be anywhere. He could be at Nordstrom, using your credit card, right now!”
And second, “I don’t think Congress should come before the court. You shouldn’t be able to kick someone out for crimes they haven’t actually been convicted of yet,” he said, noting that a jury trial required the judgment of 12 peers, and “I trust 12 randos off the street way more than 435 congresspeople!
“When you really think about it, he just got fired by his co-workers,” he added. “I don’t know if we want to set that precedent. Imagine if all our co-workers could vote on whether we should have a job. We’d all be unemployed.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers also touched on Santos’s final hours in Congress. After the vote, the disgraced former lawmaker said “to hell with this place” and left in a black SUV. “Ah, yes, the official exit of hot messes everywhere,” Meyers said. “That’s the same way Andy Dick left every restaurant for six years.”
Meyers touched on Cheney’s new book, Oath and Honor, in which she claims that the Republican congressman Mark Green referred to Trump on 6 January as “Orange Jesus”.
“The only way that Trump is like Jesus is that they both got other people to write their books for them,” Meyers noted.
Cheney also wrote that after losing the 2020 election, Trump was so depressed that he stopped eating. “Unless you count the thousands and thousands of classified documents,” Meyers joked.
And the University of Minnesota announced that it would launch its own cannabis research center, “or, as they’re more commonly known, dorms”, Meyers quipped.
