Fiona Phillips said she repressed memories of her time on Strictly Come Dancing due to her professional dance partner Brendan Cole’s “traumatising” behaviour.
The 64-year-old TV presenter - who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2023 - made the revelation in her upcoming memoir, Remember When: My Life With Alzheimer's.
She said she was constantly “on the brink of tears” due to Cole’s “shouting and swearing” during her stint on the BBC show in 2005.
Phillips shared how she felt when footage of Cole’s treatment of her during rehearsals resurfaced amid the show’s bullying investigation.
“He could also be seen looking at my dancing and saying, ‘Pathetic, it's not good enough!’ Then I'm begging him to ‘stop shouting’ and worrying that I look completely ridiculous,” she wrote, in an extract obtained by The Mail.
“I really don't remember much of that time now – maybe I blocked it out because all I recall is the sense that it was incredibly traumatic. I was on the brink of tears most of the time and felt utterly exhausted.”
She continued: “And it all seemed so pointless. Brendan would be swinging me around the dance floor for a paso doble and I'd be thinking, ‘I've just put Mum in a care home, what on Earth am I doing dressed up to the nines in a dancing competition?’”
The GMTV Today alum added that she felt she should have told the crew or Cole how much she was “struggling” and was “relieved” when they were voted out in week four.
Cole’s representative declined to comment when contacted by The Standard.
The dancer was axed from Strictly in 2018 after 13 years on the show.
He tearfully announced the decision on Lorraine, saying: “It’s quite, actually, hard to talk about. The BBC haven’t renewed my contract. We get contracted year upon year. They’ve made an editorial decision to not have me back on the show. I’m a little bit in shock. I’m quite emotional, a bit raw about it.
"I have had 15 incredible series on the show, I’m very proud of the whole show, they’re a great team. I’m disappointed. It’s very hard to talk about. It’s a recent decision.”
Phillips later claimed his departure was “karma”.
Meanwhile, the presenter and her husband of 28 years, Martin Frizell, 65, have shared the complicated journey of their life since her Alzheimer’s diagnoses in her new memoir.
Since the diagnosis, Frizell has taken on complete responsibility for the household, from paying bills to chores, with he said he used to “take for granted.” To help alleviate some of the pressure from himself and their 23-year-old son MacKenzie, he hired a trained carer.
As of January 2025, he helps her “brush her teeth and shower”, dress herself, eat and drink.
On difficult days where she has experienced moments of “extreme confusion”, he said she has demanded to see her late parents.
