Thank you so much for Terri White’s thoughtful and honest article on the psychological (and social) side-effects of publishing a memoir, especially of traumatic events (When my memoir came out, I got a brutal shock. Vulnerable writers need protection, 8 February). I am a professional writer, and currently halfway through writing a memoir focused on my big brother, who killed himself 47 years ago, when I was 22 and he 27.
The book also covers my parents’ Holocaust background, which was a contributing factor to his mental illness and death. That is the first half, which wasn’t so hard to write as I have most of the facts. The only really hard bit was the paragraph reporting his actual death – after writing that, I was unable to write anything more for a week.
But I have been stuck halfway through the memoir for six years. I set it aside to study for an MA in writing poetry, and as this led me to write many poems about both the Holocaust and my brother’s experiences, I now plan to include some of them in the memoir. The second half was always meant to be on the long-term effect on me and my mental health. It has proved impossible so far to face writing any of this. I don’t know what to include, how to write it or how to summon the strength. Having had cancer for the second time during my MA has certainly not helped.
Your article has made me feel less alone in this enterprise and made me realise that writing a memoir is costly in many and various ways. I have enrolled for a memoir-writing course, which I hope will give me a kickstart. Thanks again to Terri for outlining the issues. Wish me luck, please!
Veronica Zundel
London
• In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org.
