A woman got engaged to a prison inmate who she has never met - and won’t be released until 2032.
Social work graduate Kelly Jacobs has been writing to James ‘Wyatt’ Dentel in his cell in Oregon, USA since 2019.
After many letters, emails and instant message conversations their pen pal relationship developed into a romance.
Wyatt, 32, who is serving a 20 year sentence for shooting four men, got several tattoos of Kelly - who lives 5,000 miles away in the Netherlands and had the letter ‘W’ inked on her ring finger.
He proposed via video call and they plan to marry inside the prison in October this year - more than a decade before he is released.
“He proposed with a prison-made ring, but then he had someone in the free world order a ring at a jeweller for me,” said Kelly, who is hoping to work in psychiatry now she has graduated.
“For the wedding I won’t wear a traditional, fancy dress, because people don’t do that for prison weddings.
“I will probably just wear a simple white dress or white trousers or a white skirt and top.”
Kelly’s parents have surprisingly given their blessing to the relationship and the couple plan to live together and have children when Wyatt is released.
Wyatt is serving a 20 year sentence at the Snake River Correctional Institution in Oregon for assault, and unlawful use of a firearm during a bar brawl in 2012.
Kelly explained: “He was with a girlfriend, they were at a bar and they got attacked by five strangers, he tried to protect himself and his girlfriend, he pulled a gun and shot four of them, but none of them died."
The couple have never been in the same room and even after they are married will not be able to have conjugal visits, because it is not permitted in the state of Oregon.
“Of course it is difficult,” said Kelly.
“He is worried that I won’t pick up the phone eventually, or that I won’t wait for him.
“He asks me how I feel about not having sex for such a long time, he worries how I would react if someone else flirts with me."
Kelly does wonder if there will be "physical chemistry" when they meet in person.
But plans to move closer to the prison, so she can visit him more regularly once Covid is over.
She began writing with Wyatt out of curiosity, had never expected to find love with a convict.
She said: “I used to be an intern at a correctional facility, so I wanted to know more about what it’s like to be an inmate, how they feel, what they think.”
At the end of 2019 she joined writeaprisoner.com and chose Wyatt to correspond with.
She said: “I wasn’t picky, I just chose someone who looked friendly.
“After a while we started calling and having video calls and using direct messenger, we would message each other for hours every day.”
As their correspondence continued, they began to fall in love.
She said: “My parents were really shocked at first but once they had spoken to him online a few times they really grew to like him.
“They always thought that inmates were aggressive and rude, like on TV, but they now see that he is soft and warm and he has good manners. He is polite, kind and funny.”
Before Wyatt proposed he sought permission from Kelly’s father.
“He wrote my dad a letter and my dad gave his blessing. My dad is going to come with me to the wedding,” said Kelly.
“My family and friends have mostly been really supportive of our relationship, I am lucky.
“My older brother is more skeptical about it, he’s very protective of me. But he hasn’t spoken to Wyatt yet, I think once they have a chance to meet then things will be different.”
Kelly, who lives in Heerlen in the Netherlands, will be approaching 40 by the time Wyatt is released and he will be around 44, but the pair plan to start a family as soon as they can.
“I never wanted to get married or have children before I met him, but now I do,” she said.
“He’s a little worried about being an older father, but my dad was around his age when he had my brother, so it’s all possible.”
Although Kelly has received some backlash online about her unusual love affair she says much of the feedback has been positive.
“I have received negativity online about it, people say things like, ‘how could you be with a criminal? He’ll get out and then murder you.’
“I will never condone that what Wyatt did.
“Even though it was an act of self defence, it is never okay to do what he did. Though I sometimes question what I would do in the situation he was in.
“Still, he chose the wrong path of life, that led him to his prison sentence.
“But I do not judge him as a person for his past. Being a man in prison doesn’t always make someone a bad person. Just like being a free man doesn’t always make him a good one.”
