When I came to Caesars Entertainment a decade ago, I was fearful of being openly gay in the workplace. My then-partner was in the military, so I had a “ask and I will tell you” approach – a path that led me to separate my personal and professional lives. As time went on, this became suffocating, and I found it challenging to create meaningful work relationships.
One day, my boss and mentor, former Las Vegas mayor Jan Jones, learned of my struggle and began to help me bridge my two worlds. It was ironic, we agreed, that I was an advisor and chief of staff to Jan – a fierce advocate for women and LGBT rights – yet still afraid to be honest about being gay.
In her acceptance speech for an equality award at a Human Rights Campaign gala, Jan shared her concern that I was fearful of bringing my whole self to work. My face burned as I realized that I had never spoken openly about my sexual orientation to the 40 colleagues at the event. I was holding myself back and, in the process, slowing the progress of the LGBT movement. Jan’s advice was “don’t apologize for who you are”. I decided to embrace my identity and bring my authentic self to the workplace.
The day after the gala, I reached out to senior executives for support to start Equal, the gaming entertainment industry’s first LGBT employee group. The more I became involved, the more alive I felt. Before long, advocacy became a big part of my life. I openly co-chaired black tie fundraisers for the Las Vegas Human Rights Campaign, sat on local and national advocacy and community boards and participated in citizen lobby days at a state and federal level.
Five years ago, I proposed to my now-wife and, lucky for me, she said yes. While planning our commitment ceremony, marriage equality passed in Washington DC, where my partner lived and worked. I had never fathomed that one day I could marry the woman I loved. Overnight, we changed our plans from a commitment ceremony to a fully-fledged wedding.
Organizers of marriage equality efforts then asked us to serve as public examples on the first day same-sex couples could apply for marriage licenses. We were unsure about speaking out about our very private relationship. We had both spent our careers shaping the story, not being the story. I then realized that I was being a hypocrite. I had encouraged many employees, community volunteers, and closeted young adults to be who they are, come out, and embrace it – but I wasn’t willing to go the full mile and tell my story publicly.
I found that telling my story was as liberating as coming out. As we left the courthouse with our marriage applications in hand, we faced three rows of reporters and a crowd of straight allies holding “Love wins” signs and singing “This little light of mine” to drown out a few bitter protesters. It was one of the most emotionally uplifting moments of my life, captured by photographers and printed on the front pages of major newspapers across the country.
To this day, the courage I summoned for that moment has helped me to stay true to who I am as a professional, a leader and now a mother of a happy and tenacious 18-month-old boy.
