The problems discussed in your article are not new (Bereaved relatives’ grief compounded by unsympathetic firms, 9 August). Before my first wife died of cancer, she had applied to her employer for early retirement on medical grounds.
I had previously lost my mother and dealt with many companies and a bank; I also had some work on the earlier deaths of a grandmother and of my father. So I knew that I would have to prepare for, and deal with, receiving letters addressed to my wife long after her death. But I was wholly unprepared for, and disgusted by, a letter that arrived some weeks after her funeral.
This was from her employer, stating that they were unable to give her the earlier retirement that she had asked for. I told them, very politely, what I thought of their internal communication. My wife was a senior teacher, and many of her colleagues had been at the funeral. More than a quarter of a century later, I am still outraged.
David Harrison
Birmingham
• I have been following your coverage of bereavement services with interest. Ten years ago, my dad died and every single bank, utility and store card had a dedicated bereavement line, manned by a sympathetic human. By the time my mum died at the beginning of the year, the same firms had got rid of their bereavement lines and automated them.
I found myself “speaking” to bots and receiving emails composed by naive algorithms (presumably programmed by someone with little experience of death). It’s as if, in times of Covid, all the big firms decided to get rid of the human contact and replace sympathy and understanding with unfeeling automated babble.
Wendy Shillam
London
• Since my wife died earlier this year, I have had to spend a lot of time getting through to “helplines”. It has been a most distressing experience.
Now, when I eventually get through, I always apologise at the beginning for being upset, and at the end of the call I try to chat about the day that they are having. Sometimes, it cheers up both of us.
Martin Cooper
Bromley, London
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