What will happen at World Cup 2010?

Carleton Creek (is that really his name?) gets things started as he provides his palmistry predictions Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'John Terry couldn't help but sample the local cuisine,' parps David Gilbert as he quickly lowers the tone ... Photograph: guardian.co.uk

... before Max Lucas descends to even murkier depths with this Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Jamie Donald uncovers Fabio Capello's desperate plans to bring in a 24th man Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Does this really need a caption?' asks Jon Warren Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Adam Michie reckons he's stumbled across a World Cup marketing masterpiece Photograph: guardian.co.uk

More Thierry-bashing, this time courtesy of James Cunningham: 'I think the pub next door to my work in Derry sums up what most Irish fans hope will happen this summer' Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'After Greece repeat their shock success of 2004, economic realities hit home and Ms Merkel gets her hands on the trophy,' chirps the politically minded Andrew Webster ... Photograph: guardian.co.uk

... and he's back again with this: 'When it comes to picking Didier Drogba's replacement, Sven falls back on what he knows' Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'OK lads, we'll blame our tournament exit on this set-piece' – Roy Boujaoude thinks ducking at free-kicks could be England's downfall Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Mystic Meg confidently predicts 'a team in yellow, or blue, or red, or white', sniggers the sceptical John Barry Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Knowing that England will bottle it yet again in the knockout stages, a special lager has been brewed to commerate this: 3 LIONS LAGER, Brewed in England, “bottled” in South Africa, one “shot” guaranteed to make you legless!' John Barry returns with a large dollop of sarcasm Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Argentina flop but crazy Maradona runs naked in Buenos Aires anyway.' Brian Corcoran, yeurck Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'St George overcomes his dragon' – Al Balmer is predicting a slice of luck for Wayne Rooney if his path crosses that of his old foe Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Maradona again ... 'Enjoying some R&R, showing off his newfound love of all things South African' laughs Jason Froggett Photograph: guardian.co.uk