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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
National
Dellaram Vreeland

‘We loved her so much’: family of Ballarat teenager hope to raise awareness about suicide

Couple console each other inside a bedroom
Joan and Richard Cocks in bedroom of their daughter Bridie, who took her life in October last year. Photograph: Christopher Hopkins/The Guardian

The living room has morphed into a memorial place for a lost daughter. A hand-carved table is topped with trinkets, frames and a tree of life ornament; the walls by the fireplace are decked with photographs. A graffitied canvas with her name sits next to the dining table.

Bridie Cocks ended her life one year ago in her home town of Ballarat. She was 15. The tragedy occurred only weeks after her boyfriend, the 16-year-old Nick Watts, also took his own life.

Suicide is the leading cause of death among young people in Australia, and was one of the leading causes of death for all people in outer regional, remote, and very remote areas in 2021, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.

In Ballarat alone, there were 78 deaths by suicide between 2017 and 2021.

Despite the number of people touched by this tragedy, it’s difficult to talk about. Bridie’s mother, Joan, says they put on a brave public face.

Joan Cocks holds a photograph of her daughter Bridie
Joan Cocks holds a photograph of her daughter Bridie, who took her own life last year. Photograph: Christopher Hopkins/The Guardian

“We just try to keep busy most of the time,” Joan says. “At work you can hold it together, but I’ve started crying on the way home again.”

Bridie was warm and generous, her parents Joan and Richard say, and a natural leader. She wanted to be a nurse, just like them.

“I’d give her money for lunch, and she’d always buy her friend a caramel slice,” Joan says. “She was kind.

“I told her, you can’t help all these people who are struggling. But when you’re older, you can help them. We talked about it often.”

She struggled with anxiety and self-image issues, and the pandemic had a worsening effect on her mental health. It was difficult to access healthcare.

After Nick’s death, she was hit with an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

“She just took everything really hard,” Joan says. “The support came, but it was too late.

“It’s hard to understand why she would leave us. We loved her so much.”

Can art reduce the stigma?

Lifeline Australia’s Irene Gallagher says access to professional services continues to be difficult in regional areas, and in some cases, there can be a reluctance to ask for help.

“Many in rural and remote areas identify that it’s hard to talk about mental health issues and suicide, some relaying that there is a rural stoicism and a need to ‘stay strong’ during times of adversity. There becomes a stigma around seeking or accessing help,” she says.

Gallagher says sharing personal experiences of suicide – be that the loss of a loved one or overcoming suicidality – has become an integral component of suicide prevention.

“Sharing stories via creative outlets provides a powerful medium which brings the story to life, and has the audience experiencing the critical messages that there is help and people to connect with at a person’s darkest moment,” she says.

That is one reason that Joan and Richard agreed to share Bridie’s story, when they were approached by the Ballarat film-maker Matt Norman. Norman had heard of Bridie and Nick’s deaths, and was inspired to produce a feature film. Called Piggy, it will touch on themes of community, loss, heartbreak and, ultimately, hope.

Baby photo hanging in a family home
Richard Cocks reflects on his daughter Bridie’s life while looking at a baby photo of her hanging in the family home in Snythes Creek. Photograph: Christopher Hopkins/The Guardian

“This film is being made to cause people to discuss suicide with families, friends and schools and to give kids an opportunity to see what suicide does in the hope that they can talk to their friends who are going something similar,” Norman says.

“[Bridie] was purely loved, but didn’t know there were answers or that tomorrow was a new day. I just wish kids could see that from the parents they leave behind.”

Norman says he was surprised by the lack of support for the film from community mental health provider Headspace, as well as state schools and health professionals.

“I thought they would be jumping to be involved and help get the message out,” he says. “We need to talk about suicide so our kids can dissect it and know what it is and who it affects.”

Headspace declined to comment.

The education department denied Norman’s request to film at Victorian government schools, saying it was unclear how risks to students’ mental health would be managed.

According to a state government spokesperson, all government secondary and specialist schools are funded to employ a mental health practitioner, with teams of psychologists, social workers and other health professionals available for in-person and online support.

“Since the Royal Commission into Victoria’s Mental Health system, the Allan Labor Government has invested more than $600m to support student mental health in schools,” they said.

Dr Elizabeth Paton, the project lead on the Mindframe program at Everymind, says creative storytelling through media was powerful, but needed to be handled carefully.

“There is evidence that certain ways of portraying suicide deaths or attempts increase the risk of suicidal behaviour in our communities,” she says. “From this, we know that simply including suicide in a film or television program is not the same thing as raising awareness or preventing suicide and, in some cases, can do more harm than good.”

“The research tells us that the stories that are more helpful for preventing suicide are those of people surviving a suicidal crisis, of people who live through it.”

Mental health organisation Hand in Hand Ballarat has thrown its support behind the film, which is due to be released next year. Co-founder Leah Ashton says there is no one solution to handling such a delicate topic, but she says the stigma needs to be reduced, and stories need to be told.

Couple sitting and reflecting in the front yard of their home.
Joan and Richard Cocks in the front yard of their Smythes Creek home. Photograph: Christopher Hopkins/The Guardian

“The families are screaming out for this, they want to talk about it, they want to prevent any other family from going through the pain and loss that they do in their everyday lives,” she says.

“We believe in what Matt is doing.”

All Joan Cocks wants from this project is for young people who are struggling to feel they can ask for help.

“Someone will be there,” she says. “There’s so many beautiful things in the world.”

“Don’t lose that hope,” Richard adds. “Keep holding on that each day can get better and 10 years down the track you can look back and think ‘Look at my life!’”

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