The latest Helldivers 2 Major Order was a doozy. On July 22, High Command instructed the Helldivers to kill a set number of a wide range of enemies of Democracy, around 48 million total, hoping to simultaneously generate "patriotic war footage" and clear the air for the construction of three new "Maximum Security Cities." Well, it took a little helping hand from developer Arrowhead, but players just barely pulled it off.
Yesterday, an "adjustment" for the Major Order, which sure seemed like a wink and a nudge from Arrowhead as the studio clearly hoped players could pull this off, slashed the number of kills necessary for one part of the command, bringing the total bounty down to 47 million kills. Players had no problem killing Impalers, Fleshmobs, or Shriekers, but tanky Leviathans and Factory Striders proved more difficult. So, the invisible hand of Arrowhead offered a boost.
In honor of the "innovative Leviathan hunting techniques" players displayed – that is, catapulting Hellbombs at the things – the Leviathan kill count was reduced, seemingly freeing players up to blitz the Factory Striders just in time.
In typical Helldivers fashion, some players celebrated before the battle was actually won, reveling in the Major Order prediction calculating a 100.2% completion rate on the remaining Factory Strider kills. Fortunately, these folks were not punished for their hubris; we cleared the Major Order by the skin of our teeth, turning the community into a triumphant chorus.
"FREEDOM PREVAILS! WE'VE DONE IT, DIVERS! REJOICE IN LIBERTY!" one Helldiver declares, posting from a machine with a broken caps lock key.
"We actually won the M.O.!" another Reddit user writes.
So, what did we get for our efforts? High Command says "vigorous, spirited efforts by the Helldivers to generate patriotic war footage for our citizens has had the desired effect," leading "citizen nightmare incidences" to a "6-month low."
Better still, "construction has begun in earnest on three Maximum Security Cities." Just, uh, try not to think about the realities of living in one of these cities, which are so pro-Democracy that they'll monitor every facet of your life to make sure you're democratic enough. Security measures include:
- Facial recognition cameras "pre-installed in every block and building"
- Soldier and drone patrols
- Dedicated "surveillance satellites"
- Background checks, with applicants "rigorously scanned" to ensure "every resident is as patriotic and vigilant against dissidence as possible"
Anyone else love Democracy? I sure do. Can't get enough of the stuff. In fact, I have to wake up early to have more time in the day to love Democracy.
