Bakers dog food has just bought out the first telly advert aimed at dogs, which features special high-frequency noises that only they can hear, so naturally I found the video, woke my darling boxers up from a snooze, lured them to the PC with bits of chicken frankfurter, and made them watch it. It was rather noisy, with a chap whistling, loud music, a lorry going along, and on top of all that the secret dog soundtrack. The dogs sat glumly, ignoring the advert, waiting for more sausage. But then a dog barked on screen. They sprang up, barking fiercely and ran to the kitchen door, muscles rippling, jaws gaping and drooling. Not that I want to anthropomorphise, but I suspect that they were saying not, "We would like some Bakers", but "What strange dog has dared to enter our home? Fight, fight, go, go, GO!"
Every time they hear the tiniest dog bark or whimper on telly, it's the same. Now there is going to be even more of it with this advert, and it won't do you any good, Baker's people, because my dogs are not yet, and never will be, in thrall to advertising and the capitalist system. So if anyone is thinking of making secret smell adverts, forget it.
