Eternal Glory
8pm, ITV
Who can stand on one leg for longer, James Cracknell or Gail Emms? Is Liz McColgan better at fending off rapidly fired tennis balls than Shane Williams? Eight retired sportspeople have gone to Croatia for this contrived showdown. The hooks, such as they are: a sports scientist has conceived challenges that level the playing field, and everyone lives together in a tense Reality Villa. Statuesque footballer Matt Le Tissier is the dark horse, but if you can find the energy to care you should probably do some sports yourself. Jack Seale
New Tricks
9pm, BBC1
After achieving “the full Sugababes” by methodically replacing every original cast member, the proudly creaky cop show bows out tonight after 12 years of lumbago gags and strong ratings. With the axe hanging over their cold-case unit, laid-back ladies’ man Denis Lawson, fussy logician Nicholas Lyndhurst and superstitious savant Larry Lamb reopen a millennium murder, ruffling the feathers of a local baroness (Meera Syal). As final episodes go, the tone is wistful, which seems in keeping with the overall spirit of the series. Graeme Virtue
Alan Johnson: The Post Office and Me
9pm, BBC4
It’s almost 40 years since ex-postman Alan Johnson delivered his final letter, but it hasn’t dimmed the MP’s passion for the 500-year-old Royal Mail, which can trace its lineage back to Henry VIII. In this warm one-off, he explores the changing face of the postal service, takes a ride on the ghostly mail train beneath Mount Pleasant sorting office, and hears from Hilary Benn about how his dad Tony shook up the system as postmaster general (“The senior officials didn’t know what hit them”). Ali Catterall
Empire
9pm, E4
Fusing a sideways critique of racial injustice with unbridled melodrama and cameos from figures as divergent as Chris Rock and civil rights activist Al Sharpton, the return of Fox’s hip-hop drama is as current as it is entirely improbable. Season two opens with Cookie continuing to plot a hostile takeover of Lucious’s company, but the music mogul is keen to keep control of Empire Entertainment from behind bars. Elsewhere, his sons are struggling: Jamal’s music career is on the wane, while Andre is plagued with guilt over Vernon’s death. Hannah J Davies
Close to the Edge
10pm, BBC4
Made in Chelsea-style structured reality show about a bunch of 60-plus men and women living in Bournemouth. Local comedian John introduces some of the characters who’ll feature over the series and it’s all delivered in that bad-acting, stilted style that makes MIC so compulsive. Real things happen but in fully constructed scenes. They have found “characters” who are willing to go with the panto, but it’s such a weird viewing experience without the gloss of youth. Julia Raeside
The VIP Paedophile Ring: What’s the Truth?
10.35pm, BBC1
When allegations of a paedophile ring at the heart of the establishment first emerged, the police described one of the claims as as “credible and true”. However, as time has gone on, considerable doubt has been cast on stories of historic child abuse and murder. No previews were available, but the Panorama team considers the role of senior politicians and the media in promoting the story, and asks what the effect will be on those who genuinely have been abused if the allegations turn out not to be true. Jonathan Wright
Together
10.30pm, BBC3
This new comedy drama from Jonny Sweet follows listless singleton Ellen and bumbling berk Tom, participants in a brief encounter who, despite sharing an undeniable attraction, seem destined to flitter around each other like drunk moths. In this opening episode, a smitten Tom joins Ellen’s painting class, despite his previous artistic endeavours mainly being in the medium of Crayola. Despite neither lead character proving particularly sympathetic, this slow burner offers enough warmth to warrant a return visit. Mark Gibbings-Jones
Film Choices
8½ (Federico Fellini, 1963) 8am, Sky Arts
A director much inclined to share his life with his audience, this is Fellini’s most autobiographical work. His leading man, Marcello Mastroianni, is an anguished director “trying to pull together the pieces of his life”, as he once explained. An exotic meld of fact and fantasy, it stars Claudia Cardinale and Anouk Aimée, and won Fellini an Oscar. Paul Howlett
Something in the Air (Oliver Assayas, 2012) 12.40am, Film4
Oliver Assayas turns an indulgent eye on his own youthful adventures following the incendiary events of May 1968. This is set three years later, in Paris, where revolutionary zeal still burns and the art-school-bound 17-year-old Gilles (Clément Métayer) joins in demonstrations while furthering his studies and meeting beautiful girls. At times a little glib, but it’s an affectionate portrait of a talented young man living in a vibrant age. PH
Today’s best live sport
Cycling: The Binche-Chimay-Binche
Coverage of the one-day race, which takes place in Belgium. 2pm, British Eurosport
Darts: World Grand Prix
Day three of the tournament, won last year by Michael van Gerwen. 7pm, Sky Sports 1
Greyhound Racing: The Grand National and Kent Derby
From Sittingbourne, the finals of the two showpiece events 7.30pm, Sky Sports 2
Tennis: The China Open
Day four coverage. 7.30am, BT Sport 1
