Working for toxic bosses can make an already challenging job even more difficult. But like all life challenges, you can cope with a bad boss to ensure that this type of bad behavior doesn't stunt your career growth.
At some point in your career, you'll likely report to a boss with toxic tendencies. You know the type: The boss who micromanages your every move. A bad boss may also be the dishonest career killer who takes credit — and praise from higher-ups — for your work. Don't forget the tyrant who leads by fear and intimidation. And then there's the boss who berates you in meetings in front of colleagues or shoots down all your ideas.
To learn how to best deal with a toxic boss, IBD turned to Scott Monty, an executive coach and communications strategist at Chameleon Collective. Monty has worked with companies such as Walmart, IBM, McDonalds, Coca-Cola and Alphabet.
Learn From Toxic Bosses
Can a worker, manager, or executive learn anything from a "boss from hell?" Yes. But you might learn lessons you didn't expect. "Even the worst boss teaches you something about yourself — your triggers, your values and your thresholds," Monty said.
It's important to reflect on how toxic bosses make you feel and perform. "The key is to reflect, not just react. What did you tolerate? What did you learn about courage, compromise or clarity? That kind of introspection turns a painful chapter into a source of wisdom," he said.
But every employee is going to come away with different lessons depending on their role. It's important, too, for managers to learn from their bad managers. "Managers discover more about empathy and culture, as they see the toll that behaviors like fear-based leadership, credit stealing and blame, and a lack of respect and dignity take on workers," Monty said.
Find The Lesson
The key is figuring out how going through a bad experience can be a blessing in disguise. It's all about building healthy ways to cope with toxic bosses.
Setting boundaries with the boss is the first step. You must stand up for yourself and refuse to allow yourself to be treated poorly, Monty says. That sends a signal you will not allow this behavior to continue. Try calling out the behavior. Use phrases like, "It sounds like you said that to undermine me," or "It sounds like you said that to embarrass me," Monty said. "The more you expose it, the less likely it is for the behavior to continue."
That's not to say a boss from hell can't trip up your career. Setting off a toxic boss filled with negativity can backfire. The boss might belittle you in front of other employees, try to blame you for mistakes or even scuttle your job search.
It's important to deal with toxic bosses face-to-face. Don't rely on passive-aggressive digs or emails. A face-to-face discussion typically yields better results for everyone. "Use it as an opportunity not to attack, but to express your observations and feelings. It's a chance to learn and grow together. Perhaps they don't realize how they've been treating you or how it's affected you and your own development. Good leaders want to bring up the next generation of leaders," he said.
Cut Your Losses With Toxic Bosses
With all this said, at some point it's important to note that the situation isn't going to be any better. And when that happens, you need to pursue other options. Getting another job might be one of your escape routes. If your boss is obviously not interested in your well-being, you're not likely to improve anything. "If they're treating you like a cog in a machine with little regard for your dignity, even after you've voiced your concerns and stood up for yourself, it may be time to move on," Monty said.
And at some point, it might be time to let the Human Resource department know what's going on. But doing so is more a final step than a solution that's likely to help solve the conflict.
"I would caution against bringing Human Resources into the conversation," Monty said. "HR exists to protect the company and the power dynamic between the boss and the employee doesn't give the employee much leverage when HR is involved. Talking to a trusted peer or to an executive coach can be ways to bring you clarity, resilience, and the reassurance and support you need to take the next steps in your career."
