One of the more wonderful things about modern urban living is the ability to get practically anything delivered to your doorstep with a few taps on a keyboard or phone. Sick and need meds and soup? No problem. Simply don’t feel like going to the store? Instacart has what you need.
Well, in an ideal world it has what you need. As people who use these services are well aware, not every Instacart shopper is created equally. Some will hunt down that organic miso paste; others will just give up or substitute with something bizarre.
A common complaint is that there’s one way to know if your Instacart shopper will be up to snuff: their gender. Many say that women make much better shoppers than men.
What did this male Instacart shopper (fail to) do?
A New Jersey woman says she recently had a male Instacart shopper do an inferior job. In a TikTok with over 568,000 views, Nikki (@holeynicoley90) shares the three signs that revealed her shopper’s gender.
“I ordered a cantaloupe; I got a honeydew,” she says, displaying the fruit. “I hate honeydew.”
Then Nikki holds up three bruised bananas. “I want you to take a look at these bananas. I’m gonna give you three seconds to tell me what’s wrong with these bananas,” she says. “…They’re way too brown and bruised. They don’t have time to ripen.”
The final clue that her Instacart shopper was a man involves the fresh basil she ordered.
“I said best replacement, any replacement that’s available,” Nikki recalls.
Her Instacart shopper couldn’t find basil anywhere. Not dried, fresh, or even a plant.
“You didn’t take your two eyes and look at the herb section, even in the organic section, even where there’s a basil plant,” she says. “…You mean to tell me there’s no basil in the ShopRite in Jersey City? Sir.”
Are male shoppers really worse?
The accusation that male Instacart shoppers are inferior to females has been floating around for a while. It’s so common that the Today show did a segment on it.
Perhaps it’s because women tend to do more grocery shopping or because females are generally seen as better at finding things, but there’s no denying that the common consensus is that men suck at grocery shopping.
There are hilarious, if irritating, stories all over the internet and in the comments on Nikki’s post.
A screenshot on Facebook shows a male Instacart shopper purportedly asking a customer if an item photographed is an acceptable replacement. The customer drily informs them that it’s the exact item they ordered “word for word.”
A person who commented on Nikki’s post wrote, “They once replaced my baby formula with vanilla protein powder.”
Another shared, “His replacement for my chicken breast was 10 lbs of turkey lunch meat! Like how???”
A third recalled ordering lemons and getting jalapeños instead.
Yet another woman wrote, “That’s bad but nothing has yet to beat my order. Ordered: 2 bags of gluten free […] flour. Received: 2 packages of frozen protein waffles. Ordered: Blueberries. Received: frozen blueberry waffles. Ordered: turkey bacon (with option for any pork bacon as replacement) Received: Frozen. Pancake. Wrapped. Sausage. The dude never left the damn frozen breakfast section!!!!”
Others said they got a tomato substituted for an apple, cabbage for lettuce, whipped topping for heavy cream, and other strange substitutions.
A few people suggested that men should have to pass a test to become Instacart shoppers. Or at least try harder.
“Like can you please spend even 10 seconds looking,” wrote one.
Nikki agreed. “10 seconds!!!” she wrote.
Nikki didn’t respond to a direct message seeking comment. Instacart didn’t respond to an emailed inquiry.
@holynicoley90 Excuse me while I have a baby crashout
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