A traditional remedy for heartbreak, as brought to you by Hollywood, noughties magazines, the theatre and your older sister, is as follows. A big pint of ice cream, like in Bridget Jones (Don’t binge the Renee way), a boozy night out (Sex and the City, many times over), poison (Romeo and Juliet), a potential Harvard acceptance (Legally Blonde; the prequel of which is set to air on Amazon Prime this year), and shagging everyone you know (source anonymous). The tropes are overplayed (apart from Romeo and Juliet — that one’s unique) but based in a historic truth.
Most people have, at some point, reached into the heartbreak armoury and deployed all the weaponry they see fit to use: a lengthy kebab-in-hair snog with a stranger, red wine-induced sobs in a sweaty bathtub, asking Mark from IT if he still thinks you’re fit.
For the social-media-age woman, see also: sudden and frequent Instagram thirst traps, rapid Hinge download, late-night ‘you up?’ texts to exes.
But for the new wave of lovelorn Gen Zers, some are choosing to turn away from paths well-trodden, and opt instead for glacial wellness practices. Rather than hitting the three-month-crash-out button, some young people are Wim Hof-ing their way to healed hearts by ice-plunging away the pain.
Despite common perceptions that Gen Z are moving away from traditional relationship structures, my generation are actually relatively monogamous. Data from Feeld shows that more Gen Zers prefer monogamous relationships than their Millennial, Gen X or Boomer counterparts (though everyone could surely benefit from London’s new ‘Pleasure Atelier’, French-led sex-ed sessions). And whilst you’d be forgiven for thinking we’d be jaded, Hinge data reveals we’re actually 30% more likely than Millennials to believe there’s one soulmate for each person.
But whilst lots of us may err on the side of tradition, we date differently than other generations. According to Hinge, nearly half of us would rather stay sober (and eat dinner at 6pm) on dates in comparison to Millennials, and we’re 32% less likely to ghost someone compared to over 33s. As for the Gen Celibate allegations, a Times survey says 62% of us are not having one night stands.
So if we’re dating differently, it’s no surprise that Gen Z also chooses to heal differently.
Traditional tactics don’t serve Gen Z: we are more attuned to wellness
This was the case for Emily, 26, who found herself plunging into sub-zero barrels in south London after her six year relationship came to an end.
“It was such a seismic shift in my life that I knew I had to look after myself. Yoga became a real rock, and then I tried cold plunging. It really got me out of my own head and was different from anything I do in my day-to-day life.”
“I think Gen Z know that traditional tactics don’t serve us! We’re much more attuned to wellness and interested in how we can look after ourselves more.”
For Katy, 26, who had experienced a very “out of the blue” breakup, ice baths were also a salve for her broken heart.
“I was in such extreme emotional pain that I wanted to be in physical pain, so it numbed me and made me think about something else. It distracts you because it’s so physically intense, and makes you feel good because you’re doing something active.”
“This method was like a comfort blanket where nothing could hurt you and nothing could go wrong; unlike shagging your colleagues. During my breakup I watched Bridget Jones a lot, and seeing what not to do compelled me to try more wholesome things like ice baths.”
Sadly for the franchise, the science says this method really can help. Dan Bosomworth, the Founder and CEO of Brass Monkey, a company specialising in ice baths, says the mental benefits are unmatched.
I was in such extreme emotional pain after a break up that I wanted to be in physical pain. An ice bath numbed me
“We’ve seen a big rise in under-33s making cold plunges part of their weekly or even daily routine. It’s a form of stress training: you learn to regulate your breathing, reduce cortisol, and trigger a dopamine boost that lifts mood and focus for hours. It helps people handle emotional challenges, uncertainty, and high-pressure situations with a cooler head, literally.” Lucy Spraggan wrote last year on how ice baths helped her heal from trauma.
Yasmin, 27, started cold plunging at a community sauna every Friday morning before work after finding out she’d been cheated on. “I decided not to drink or go out loads, but instead look after myself and do stuff independently.”
To Yasmin, it wasn’t just the physiological benefits of ice baths that helped her, but simply the act of going. “It made me feel like I was doing something that told myself “hey I like you and I’m gonna look after you”, even at a time when I didn’t want to look after myself and didn’t feel worth liking because he didn’t like me. It was a message to myself that I still like me.”
“Going out makes you feel worse the next day, and I think most of my friends are super aware that looking after yourself, even if you may not be living your ‘crazy twenties’, will benefit you tenfold. Having said that, I now feel like I should maybe have some silly fun because I’ve been a bit too sensible.”
But can cold waters truly mend the brokenhearted, or is the brainfreeze just delaying the inevitable? Is it perhaps cathartic, and necessary, to forgo a puritanical wellness approach, and instead allow yourself to be rip-roaringly messy for a little while.
Relationship consultant Jo Hayes says no.
“Cold plunges help someone who’s going through a breakup take a step back from the situation, and realise that the pain will soon pass, and life will go on. One of the best antidotes to emotional pain is physical pain (not in the harmful sense), meaning cold plunges are a great tool in the belt to help deal with a broken heart.”
“Messier tactics actually send the person deeper into the ditch of emotional pain (and often physical pain). Ice plunges, along with a healthy diet, limiting alcohol, exercise and talking with a friend are all proven to boost health and emotional well-being, and regulate stress. Messy nights out do not have such proven benefits - in fact, the opposite.” Wild swimming (try these spots within an hour of London) can bring enormous physical and mental health benefits, too.
For 28-year-old Arnaud, who straddles the two generations as a Zillennial, his approach is just as evenly poised.
“At the start of a big breakup, I did cold plunges regularly to give me rhythm and discipline at a time when I needed it. The shock therapy staved off really intense feelings of heartbreak and anxiety, and I also went sober for a month.”
“I did plunges alongside other things, like therapy and exercise, because they felt like the right idea at the time. But eventually, dating and going on benders also felt like the right idea. The important thing is balance. You need all the meditative stuff, but sometimes you also have to throw in some messy, uncontrollable crying whilst drunk, and some poor decisions to let out the anger and pain. Then, in the morning you rinse it all off with cold water.”
The uncomfortable truth for the lovesick among us is that there’s no silver bullet. Emotional resilience lies in tolerating difficult feelings, and ice plunges alone can’t fix how you feel. Long term healing needs a more holistic approach, and, unfortunately, takes time.
Although for Yasmin, reflecting on her rigid plunge regime made her consider veering slightly away from her Gen Z stringency, and employing a more 2000s RomCom gambit when it comes to love.
“I think if I have another heartbreak, I need to have a Hollywood movie breakup era and have more silly irresponsible fun for a bit. I think going out and shagging and being crazy might actually be quite good for me, and I’ll handle the consequences the next day. Obviously in tandem with the ice baths.”
