London's restaurant scene likes to believe it has seen everything – the soufflés, the scandals, the soft launches – but it hasn't yet had the misfortune of hearing the two of us together, in a room, with microphones. That changes this week with the launch of The Standard's Big Misteak, our new podcast, where we finally stop bothering colleagues with endless food chat and start bothering you instead.
The idea is simple: two critics, one capital, far too many opinions. Each week we sit down after bounding around London's dining rooms to compare notes, argue, and occasionally agree. The first episode more or less sets the tone.
David began his week in Sloane Square – not an area famed for eating, unless you count the restaurant in Peter Jones – to see Martino's, the new Italian from Martin Kuczmarski of The Dover. Think a trattoria, or perhaps a very polished Venetian bar, with Chelsea gloss, the sort of place where the pasta is silky but the table lamps probably cost more than the average air-fryer.
From there, it was to CUT at 45 Park Lane for an all-hands dinner of Tom Parker Bowles, Mark Hix, Jack Stein, Sam White, Mitch and Ben Tonks, and CUT's own Elliot Grover taking turns at the stove. It was chaos, obviously, but the good kind – the sort where nobody goes to A&E and everyone leaves full. And there's always another drink at the bar.
Josh took a more predictable turn: steak. Hawksmoor invited him to its new restaurant, set in one of London's most beautiful dining rooms – a soaring old-school space that makes even dead-eyed critics go a bit misty. The martinis were excellent. Do they have new regular?
To review, David went north to Bistro Sablé in Canonbury, a neighbourhood spot so charmingly French it could probably get away with selling Métro tickets at the bar. Josh visited the resurrected Smokey Kudu, once Peckham's smoky little secret and now reborn in Marylebone. Is it too cool for Peckham now? Has Marylebone finally got interesting? Not clear, but there's one hell of a bar snack.
We also tackle Pret. Or rather, the Pret that used to exist before it gave up. The coffee is deplorable, the sandwiches shrink every time one blinks. For a brand that once ruled the high street, there's a sense of it cosplaying as a motorway service station. No wonder its vegan offering is all but gone.
And then there's pizza. London can't stop opening pizzerias, and we can't stop arguing about them. Which are overrated, which are underrated, and which are just fine as they are. Crisp gets praised, Crazy Pizza makes David queasy, Bing Bong keeps us divided, and Pizza Express remains Pizza Express, which is both a criticism and, somehow, not.
If this is week one, God help week two. But if you enjoy restaurant gossip, needless bickering and an irresponsible number of meals out, The Standard's Big Misteak might be your new weekend ritual. Probably not, but give us a chance?
