Here's an experience it'll take years to get over. Photograph: Empics Entertainment
Behold, the moment the Spice Girls brought their children on stage at London's O2 arena on Tuesday, resulting in a photograph to delight all armchair psychologists.
Look at the little mites themselves, as from left to right we have Cruz, Brooklyn, Angel, Phoenix, Romeo and Beau. As we've mentioned before, there's an arcane law that states all Spice progeny must be given stripper names.
Look at Mel C, steeling herself through a number whose rehearsal probably consisted of her bandmates cooing patronisingly, "Don't worry babe, I'm sure you'll have one of your own one day."
And, above all, will you just look at poor little Romeo's face as Auntie Geri bellows the leaden lyrics of Mama at him? The terrified, clench-toothed grin that says: "Mummy, can I see Dr Von Winter for an extra hour this week? I have too much bad stuff to get out of my head in the scheduled session."
Finally, you will notice that the elder Beckham children are wearing earplugs. Isn't that neat? Mummy's so controlling these days that she's even providing her own punchlines.
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