On the eve of International Women's Day, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, the UN under-secretary general, penned a powerful and rousing open letter urging men and boys to stand alongside women in the fight for gender equality. Highlighting the new UN Women He for She campaign, she outlined the practical reasons why working to eradicate sexism is in everybody's interest – from strengthening economies to reducing world hunger. She also appealed to men to recognise that gender inequality impacts on those nearest and dearest to them – their mothers, sisters, friends and daughters. But, most importantly, she pointed out that standing up for gender equality is quite simply the right thing to do.
The following morning, my first tweet about celebrating International Women's Day was met immediately with a predictable reply from a male tweeter: "When's national men's day?" But before I could reply, another male follower jumped in: "I know, right???" he answered, "When's MY day? Why isn't every day about me? A whole day! Once a year! Where will it end?" In a second tweet, he continued: "Also it's November the 19th. That took a second on Google. BUT THESE BLOODY WOMEN, EH?" Without for one moment disparaging the importance of International Men's Day, which focuses on issues such as men and boys' health, gender equality and positive male role models, I appreciated the support from a male ally who was prepared to stand alongside us in defending the importance of International Women's Day.
The fact is that battling gender inequality isn't about men v women. It's about people against prejudice. And we need everybody on our side. For some men, hearing feminist arguments from their male peers can be an incredibly powerful way of getting the message across – so we need those allies out there spreading the word. We are fighting for a cultural shift in our normalised attitudes and behaviours towards women, and that change can't realistically be achieved without half the population on board. This is not a women's issue, but a human rights issue.
Since starting the Everyday Sexism Project two years ago, I've heard from many men about their own unique, personal ways of standing up to sexism. One had written to the chairman of his football club to protest the violent misogyny inherent in the regular chants he heard at matches. Another, after reading the website and realising the serious impact street harassment has on many victims, chased after the next man he saw shouting at women in the street, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him: "Why did you do that?"
One man wrote: "I am a 22-year-old male. I cannot stop reading this website … More and more I find myself calling out men when they make these comments. It isn't easy, and one instance will not change their behaviour. However, I think it does make a difference … Will encourage other men to stop this behaviour when they see it." Another said: "I have been ridiculed many times for speaking up about it, but now I know I am not alone I will be speaking up a lot more." In that spirit of solidarity, this week on Twitter we asked our followers to share their stories of men standing up against sexism, to celebrate them, and more importantly to encourage others to do the same.
Some people suggested that it was wrong to celebrate instances of men standing up to sexism, when this should be the bare minimum of what we expect. But while I agree that simply not being sexist should absolutely be the norm, the act of taking a public stand against discrimination, of loudly calling it out, of challenging your peers, or stepping in when witnessing public harassment, is not always easy and deserves to be celebrated just as we celebrate women who stand up to discrimination. Yes, some of these actions are minor, but the whole point of Everyday Sexism is that much of what we are fighting is apparently "minor" – it is insidious and ingrained, and the smallest acts can start the vital shift we need to combat it. Just as the mosaic of Everyday Sexism is made up of tiny pinpricks, so too the solution can consist of joining the tiniest of dots. And though, as feminist activists, we think about these things all the time and it is easy to become frustrated when others are slower to react, for many people even the very act of becoming aware of gender inequality can be a major paradigm shift, let alone beginning to take steps towards combating it.
If we are to be pragmatic about creating the real change we want to see, we should encourage these actions. Take the high school teacher who spent a class explaining some of the vital facts underlying gender inequality to his students. Yes, this might seem a relatively simple act but if every teacher did the same thing, it would be an enormous step in the right direction. The same principle of scale could be applied to many of the tweets we received.
And if sharing these stories spurs other men on to follow the same example then so much the better.
