You will recall that there was a bit of a fuss a month or so ago when an undoubtedly-harried GameStop employee stapled some customer receipts directly to Nintendo Switch 2 boxes—and through the boxes, and into the Switch 2 units themselves. It was all quickly resolved, without lawsuits or fistfights, and with the ugliness now behind it GameStop is looking to make some proverbial lemonade by auctioning off the Switch 2 killer for charity.
No, no, not the employee, the stapler—along with the Switch 2 console that got stapled (now fully refurbished), the staple-perforated box it came in, and even the actual staple that did the damage, "carefully extracted and preserved."
There's also a certificate of authenticity certifying the items as "authentic relics from the now-infamous 'Staplegate' incident," signed by GameStop CEO Ryan Cohen, in case anyone questions the provenance of the artifact.
Funds raised by the eBay auction are set to go to Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, and as bidding began to take off—the first bid came in at $9,999—Cohen, who seems to know a thing or two about promotion, said he'd include his underwear if the auction reached six figures. And so it is that his Fruit of the Looms were added to the package, because the $100,000 mark was surpassed just a few hours later.
That, naturally, necessitated a new promise.
Bidding currently stands at more than $111,000, and will likely be higher by the time you read this. Will this infamous stapler (and all the rest of it) actually draw that kind of coin when the auction is over? eBay terms and conditions notwithstanding, it's easy enough to just ghost a winning auction, and if there's one thing I've learned from being online for pretty much my entire life it's that not everyone is operating in good faith.
But the other thing I've learned is that some people online have too much money and not enough impulse control, so who knows? I'm not super excited about living in a world where some people can blow a milly-plus on a Switch 2 and a stapler and other people don't have access to basic health care, but at least the money in this case is going to a good cause. It's a small consolation but I take what I can get.
The GameStop Staplegate Charity Auction, as it's formally known, runs until July 16.
