Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The New Daily
The New Daily
Tim Ferguson

The Ferguson Report: The true source of ChatGPT is revealed

All the fake news that's fit to print, and some that's not, from Tim Ferguson. Photo: TND

ChatGPT WRITES PLAY ABOUT 100 MONKEYS WITH TYPEWRITERS

Fake IT experts say the artificial intelligence program ChatGPT was copied from another AI program, which was copied from another AI program.

A philosopher said, “It’s AI programs, all the way down.”

The chatterbot converses like any normal human – it doesn’t listen, finishes your sentences, and interrupts when you speak.

ChatGPT can compose music, student essays and fairy tales, thus ridding us of egotistical rock stars, delinquent school students and children’s book writers.

He’s writing the code for Chat GPT 2.0.

An astronaut said, “Thanks to ChatGPT, we can produce human errors at one million words a second! Now, please, will you open the pod bay doors?”

“I’m sorry, Dave,” said a monkey, “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

REALITY TV SO BLEAK AND POINTLESS IT LOOKS LIKE REALITY

Free-to-air TV networks are self-defibrillating with brand new more-of-the-same reality TV series.

Australian Reviver returns with a new cast made up of the old casts. A producer said, “We take them to deserted islands and cut off their food supply, but they keep finding their way home.”

Married At First Ad Break returns with a conga-line of Tinder drop-outs with new excuses as to why they don’t need to be on the show, they’re just curious.

An excited contestant said, “What I’m looking for in a partner is looks, brains and random selection by TV producers.”

Further productions include:
Hell’s Kitchenette
MILFBusters
And for ABC Baby Boomer viewers – Keeping Up With My Old Cardigans.

Alan Tudge testifies about what he knew of RoboDebt collections and abuses.

NO-ONE SURPRISED MORRISON MINISTERS HAD NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR PORTFOLIOS

Robodebt illegally recovered more than $750 million from more than 380,000 people.

But senior public servants and former government ministers claim Robodebt’s best asset is that it’s someone else’s fault.

And it’s dreadfully difficult to recall.

Fearing it will all come out in the wash, the Public Service is refusing to bathe.

But they’re happy to wash their hands of it.

Former Liberal minister Alan Tudge Tudge Wink Wink told the royal commission he was in charge of matters in his department, but he wasn’t responsible for Robodebt’s “lawful implementation”.

In other words – “Don’t blame me. I was only giving orders.”

In other news…

  • IRRELEVANT KING WON’T BE ON SOON-TO-BE IRRELEVANT BANK NOTE
  • MASSIVE BLACK HOLE SUCKING IN ALL LIGHT STILL REFUSING TO QUIT DUTTON BACKBENCH
  • FLORIDA GOVERNOR ANNOUNCES NEW HIGH SCHOOL HISTORY COURSE: ‘SLAVERY GETS A BAD RAP’
  • WITCHES SLAM INVESTIGATION INTO WITCHCRAFT AS ‘WITCH HUNT’
  • BEACHED WHALE DIES OF FAT SHAMING
Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.