Name: Tom Hardy.
Age: 39.
Net worth: Slightly less than you would think.
Really? Famous movie star Tom Hardy is poor? Well, not exactly poor. But it has been reported that his company’s reserves fell by £2m last year.
Has he been buying bespoke funeral cannons, like Johnny Depp? Sadly not. It seems like it’s mostly down to Hardy’s TV show Taboo failing to recoup its £10.4m budget.
Is Taboo any good? No! It’s terrible. It’s just Tom Hardy in a funny hat, glowering at people for eight hours. It’s sludgy and monotonous and tonally flat, apart from the one scene in every episode where Jonathan Pryce tells someone to eff off.
I’ll give it a miss then. But you know, Hardy is very intense in it, and making it was clearly a risk, and you should never belittle someone for taking a risk.
But it hasn’t recouped its budget! Correction: it hasn’t recouped its budget yet. It has already taken £8.4m. Give it a chance to secure a deal on Netflix or Amazon or something, and it will probably at least come close.
Does this mean that Hardy will have to star in a load of rubbishy straight-to-VOD B-movies to make his money back, like Nicolas Cage did? Nope. Have you seen his IMDb page?
No, why? Because his next film is Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, which is one of the most highly anticipated blockbusters of the year. He’s also down to appear in a sequel to Mad Max: Fury Road, which made more than $375m (£300m) worldwide. And he’s rumoured to have a cameo in the next Star Wars film.
So, he’s probably OK for money. Probably. Especially if he ends up as the next James Bond.
What? Given Daniel Craig’s reluctance to continue in the role, Hardy has emerged as the frontrunner to be the new 007. He has expressed interest, too, especially if Nolan can direct. And let’s not forget, Craig was reportedly paid £25m to be in Spectre.
So, basically, this entire story is Man Continues To Be Quite Rich, Despite Everything? Pretty much. Sickening, isn’t it?
Do say: “If he does need a bespoke funeral cannon, I know of one going cheap.”
Don’t say: “Maybe he can make another series of Taboo with all that Bond money.”
