I love these shorter episodes of The Bachelors, you guys! Keep it to the point, you know? The point being, get rid of everyone whose name I have NFI about and have some controversial drama where whosy tells whatsy that so and so fucked a Bachie.
Speaking of, WHERE IS THE FUCKING. Weren’t we promised fucking? I thought that was the point of Biohazard Plaza up there in the skyscraper. I want SEX and I want DRAMA CENTRED AROUND SEX AS LONG AS IT’S NOT MISOGYNISTIC THANK YOU.
Speaking of, Biohazard Plaza is where Oshie
JedIt’s giving “GET ME OUT OF HERE”Meditation DaddyEach of my chakras love different womenLaurenWelcome to Clancy’s Cosy Caravan Park!!!FelixTilly“you know what’s really sexy? Praying”Feeling real good about opening up on national TVCome here, Whatsy, you sexy thingThe Bachelors: Shitpants EditionAlesiawhat is the sex version of lovebombing coz you just did itnothing says romance like barely legible window signsBellaJessDamienbad screengrab or drywall in his eyes, you’ll never knowBachelorsLeahAbigailis this show just inserting new women each episode now?Alesia with the “oh dolls, this is not good” side-eyeGC GwynethJasmine*singsong voice* ohhhhh Thomaaaas, I’ve made your favourite driiiiinkOur Saviour KrystalMy face when I’m trying to get into the next pub seeming sober but I’m trashedTHANK GODdo NOT cry over this man, my galMelissa Mason is a freelance writer, you can find her on Insta and TikTok.
