The article below is an excerpt from the Well Enough newsletter by Emilie Lavinia. To get my latest thoughts on wellbeing, mental health and the things that help us feel a little more human, pop your email address into the box above.
Each edition dives into a topic that’s been on my mind that week – from the science behind our emotions to the small habits that genuinely make life feel lighter. You’ll also find practical tips and tricks from experts I’ve interviewed on living a happier and healthier life.
Even the most well-meaning health experts are a little annoying at this time of year, aren’t they? They’re absolutely right in telling us to limit our booze intake, drink enough water and go for regular walks, but for most of us, this is the one time of year when rules, structure, expectation and habit shaming can be parked in favour of feasting and resting.
In my view, and according to our natural infradian rhythms, the end of December is a time to lie low and enjoy the cosiness. It isn’t the time to optimise your life or attempt to behave in ways that feel uncomfortable or unnatural. But many wellness influencers would love you to believe otherwise.
Throughout this month, I received hundreds of pitches on how to “fibremaxx” your Christmas dinner, how to make snacks healthier and how to work out during the holidays.
You might assume I’d be a fan of all this as a wellness editor, but I was not. Because while some advice was genuinely useful, the rest felt like an avalanche of shaming – and personally, I have a problem with wellness’s shame problem.
The wellness industry is very good at leveraging shame. I touched on this in last week’s email when discussing whether pet wellness might be at all necessary. TLDR: it is not.
In the UK, our rates of poor physical and mental health are rising, but wellness doesn’t seem to be doing a great job of inspiring people to reverse these sobering statistics. Instead, it drives an obsession with how broken we all are and seeks to sell us a fix.
As someone who has found a raft of healing mechanisms and modalities within the broad church of wellness, let me caveat this by saying I do love all things wellbeing – and that’s why I do my job. However, there’s a dark side to the pursuit of perfect health, and it doesn’t respect rest. That’s what can make this time of year even harder. We want to be hibernating, but we’ve all been taught to feel guilty for doing so.
This purity and perfection-obsessed side of wellness doesn’t like excuses or lie-ins or overeating. It also doesn’t like sickness, chronic illness or anything else that stands in the way of optimisation, whether we can control it or not. It tells us that we’re lazy and foolish if we don’t prioritise health – and frankly, that sucks.
This is not the time for optimisation or for any amount of self loathing over eating Christmas cake
At this time of year – the weird in-between that sits between Christmas and New Year – I encourage you to rest, recharge and let go of any creeping feelings of guilt or shame. Especially if you’ve been disciplined all year with routine, food, sleep and habits.
Instead, consider what resting now can do for your nervous system and how refreshed you’ll feel after a little downtime. Think about how spending time with friends and family can actually lengthen your lifespan, how feeding your body gives it energy to move, and how dancing boosts serotonin levels, raises your heart rate, improves HRV and even decreases biological age.
This is not the time for optimisation or self-loathing over Christmas cake. It’s a time for doing what feels right – trusting your body, your intuition, and striving for a balance that feels manageable.
You can care for yourself and enjoy indulgence. You can rest during the holidays while being mindful of the nuances of health and healing. Enjoy this time, I beg you. It only comes around once a year.
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