Lost in Showbiz is starting to believe in Noel Edmonds' theory of cosmic ordering, the idea that if you write down your wishes on a piece of paper, the cosmos will deliver them to you.
How else to explain the majestic Steven Seagal's recent travels to Costa Rica, where he not only held talks with the president, but seemed to hint at establishing his own power base in the Central American republic? For weeks, you see, I have begun each day laboriously scribbling out the words "Please let Steven Seagal end up in a real-life Joseph Conrad novel", and the seeds for this epic finally appear sown.
Now to what little we know. The On Deadly Ground legend recently journeyed to Costa Rica, where he scheduled bilateral talks with President Oscar Arias - talks in which he began to outline his vision. "Costa Rica has everything, both a rainforest and a dry climate," Seagal intoned. "What it lacks is an infrastructure to make movies."
Aha. How this grand scheme will take shape in the months and years to come is as yet unclear. But I want you to bear in mind a line from Seagal's personal credo, as shared with readers of his official website. "Steven Seagal believes that what he does in his life is about leading people into contemplation to wake them up and enlighten them in some manner."
That Costa Rica has not indicated it needs rescuing is by-the-bye. Seagal believes it does, and as this sprawling revolutionary tale unravels, we must view him as our man, nostro uomo, and yes - ineluctably - Nostromo.
