Sid Lowe’s match report has landed, which means it’s goodnight from me, and indeed him. Thanks for your company and emails. Bye-bye.
An alternative take on tonight’s game is that the players disgraced themselves. Here’s Jose Mourinho after Arsenal won 5-4 at White Hart Lane in 2040.
Five-four is a hockey score, not a football score.
In a three-against-three training match, if the score reaches 5-4 I send the players back to the dressing rooms as they are not defending properly.
So to get a result like that in a game of 11 against 11 is disgraceful.
“Well, that was good silly fun,” says Kári Tulinius, “but how did two teams with as many good defensive players allow this to happen? I’m hoping this and the Barcelona v Inter semifinal is a sign we’re entering a period of football dominated by attacking, and not just that the two backlines wear already on the beach.”
Yeah, I’m still trying to make sense of it. End-of-season fatigue? Nations League sweet spot? I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, ‘good silly fun’ is a very nice way to describe it.
That was like a game from the 1950s, with each team taking it in turns to attack and both defences largely powerless to stop them. There were attempts on goal, 17 of them on target, and it’s not much of an exaggeration to say the game could have finished 10-10.
Updated
Full time: Spain 5-4 France
Spain will play Portugal in the Nations League final on Sunday after a memorable game of footbasketball in Stuttgart. Spain led 4-0 and 5-1 but France refused to go away and came close to a comeback for the ages.
90+6 min A Spain player has been booked for kicking the ball away, don’t ask me who it was. France have a free-kick to throw into the box, their last chance… and Unai Simon comes out to claim with authority.
GOAL! Spain 5-4 France (Kolo Muani 90+4)
Haha, this is ludicrous. Cherki – what a player he looks – teases a gorgeous cross from the right edge of the area and Kolo Muani scores with a downward header from five yards.
Updated
90+2 min Gusto’s cross is headed well wide by the off-balance Barcola. Time is running out for France.
90 min Five minutes of added time. Spain bring on Gavi for Mikel Merino.
87 min: Chance for France! Barcola surges down the left, turns back and tees up the onrushing Kolo Muani on the edge of the area. He sidefoots over the bar and Didier Deschamps waves his arms in disgust.
86 min Samu gets beyond the France defence and sweeps a shot across goal that Maignan does well to save with his legs.
GOAL! Spain 5-3 France (Vivian og 84)
Okay this is ridiculous. Malo Gusto’s excellent low cross is turned into his own net by Vivian, who had to do something with Mbappe waiting behind him to score.
Updated
84 min “Scotland play Iceland in a friendly at Hampden tomorrow, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Should provide a nice counterpoint to this game.”
82 min Yamal wriggles away from Theo Hernandez, who essentially tries to kidnap him with a weirdly tender rugby tackle. He’s booked.
80 min I’ve just realised this is Cherki’s first game for France. Can’t be many who have scored a better goal on their international debut.
GOAL! Spain 5-2 France (Cherki 79)
Rayan Cherki, one of Europe’s most coveted young players, adds to his fast-growing reputation with a fantastic volley. My word, that’s a storming goal. Mbappe played a simple pass to him on the edge of the D; he stunned the ball up in the air and lashed a volley that beat Simon for pace.
Updated
78 min Spain v Portugal in the final? Oh go on then.
77 min: Double substitution for Spain Dani Vivian and Samu replace Robin Le Normand and Mikel Oyzarzabal, whose excellent hold-up play led to the first two goals.
76 min: France substitution Randal Kolo Muani replaces Ousmane Dembele.
76 min Spain are winning 5-1 and their keeper has been brilliant. Unai Simon makes another good save, plunging to his right to push Mbappe’s shot round the post.
74 min “$£!@£$!,” writes Charles Antaki. “Can’t think of a better response to all of this – hard to keep up. Dictionary Corner: turns out that kind of cartoon code for impoliteness is called Grawlix. If there’s another goal there’ll be more of it.”
73 min “You can’t give the Ballon d’Or to a teenager, can you?” says Joe Pearson. “Can you?”
I mean you can, but it’s never happened before. I think Ronaldo (the original) is the youngest winner at 21.
72 min: Dembele hits the post from a seriously tight angle. This game is bonkers.
72 min: France substitution Lucas Hernandez replaces Clement Lenglet.
70 min The scary thing is that France have played well, certainly in attack. Spain, once ridiculed for being all hat and no cattle, have been a model of efficiency tonight.
Lamine Yamal has got his second with a terrific finish. Zubimendi lofted a pass out to Porro, who cushioned a lovely first-time volley behind the France. Yamal ran onto it, slithered away from the last defender Lenglet and poked an early shot across goal that Maignan – who was setting himself for the kind of shot a normal human being would have taken – could only help into the net. Just brilliant.
GOAL! Spain 5-1 France (Yamal 67)
That’s the end of that.
Updated
66 min Dembele’s corner from the right is volleyed over by Barcola, 12 yards out at the far post. He caught it sweetly but couldn’t keep the shot down.
64 min: Double substitution for Spain Fabian Ruiz and Dani Olmo come on for Pedri and Nico Williams.
64 min: Triple substitution for France Rayan Cherki, Malo Gusto and Bradley Barcola replace Kalulu, Doue and Olise.
62 min: Doue goes close! Maybe Mbappe is right. After a long spell of French possession in the final third, Doue whips a curling shot across goal and not far wide.
GOAL! Spain 4-1 France (Mbappe 59 pen)
Mbappe sends Simon the wrong way and runs to pick the ball out of the net. He still thinks there’s some life in this game.
Updated
58 min: Penalty to France! Mbappe gets the wrong side of Pedro Porro, who panics and puts hands on his man. Mbappe accepts the invitation and throws himself to the floor. It’s soft but I can’t see it being overturned.
Two quick goals in the first half, two even quicker ones in the second. Pedri strode forward from midfield, lent the ball to Nico Williams, got it back and clipped the ball over Maignan with a swagger.
It was a fine finish from Pedri, not least because Williams’ return pass was slightly behind him. He dragged it into the space, weighting the touch perfectly, and then stunned it over Maignan.
GOAL! Spain 4-0 France (Pedri 55)
Well that escalated quickly.
Updated
GOAL! Spain 3-0 France (Yamal 54 pen)
Yamal takes the penalty himself, rolling it decisively into the bottom-right corner. Maignan went the wrong way.
Updated
52 min: The penalty stands It was an ill-conceived tackle from Rabiot, and that’s being kind. He had to do something with Yamal through on goal, but taking a shortcut through the back of Yamal wasn’t the ideal solution.
Penalty to Spain!
51 min France lose the ball in a dangerous area. Williams plays in Yamal, who is brought down by his old friend Rabiot. He pleads his innocence but it was a clear foul and Rabiot is booked.
France may yet be saved by an offside decision against Yamal.
Updated
48 min The other left-back Hernandez combines with Doue and fires a similar ball right across the face of goal. Dembele couldn’t quite reach it on the stretch.
47 min After some good link play from Dembele and Olise, Kalulu fires a low cross that flashes through the six-yard box, literally begging for somebody to score. Mick Quinn would have put that away, you know it and I know it.
46 min Spain get the second half under way – no changes on either side.
“Would Huijsen’s disallowed goal fall into the shortlist for best disallowed goal of all time?” asks Colum Fordham, who already knows the answer has three letters. “Quite stunning. I think some goals should be allowed if they meet certain aesthetic criteria and VAR be dammed. Great match between two highly technical sides. The Spanish keeper Simon is having a great game.”
Half-time reading
Half time: Spain 2-0 France
That first half was a tremendous advert for the Nations League. There were 22 shots at goal – 13 from France, who were arguably the better team aside from the devastating four-minute period in which Nico Williams and Mikel Merino scored for Spain.
45+2 min Rabiot leaves a bit on Yamal, who made a fool of him in last year’s semi-final. Not quite enough for a yellow card.
45+1 min “Is the France manager still unpopular or does Eric Cantona’s opinion not reflect that?” writes Ian Copestake. “Water-carrying your way to semi-finals also wasn’t good enough for the great British public I recall.”
45 min Dembele tries to take matters into his own hands – well, his left foot – with a scurrying run and swept shot from the D that is held to his left by the flying Simon. He’s had an excellent half.
BRILLIANT DISALLOWED GOAL!
44 min A beautiful free-kick routine from Spain ends with Huijsen hooking a brilliant volley past Maignan – but the man who headed the ball across to him, Zubimendi, was fractionally offside.
Updated
42 min Simon denies Dembele again, though this time the flag had gone up.
37 min Simon makes another smart save, plunging to his right to beat away Dembele’s cross shot. Crucially, he got a strong enough hand on the ball to ensure it didn’t run loose in front of an open goal.
36 min Nico Williams has a shot blocked after a free-kick bounces across the France area. This could easily be 3-3, and the rest.
34 min “If Jeremy Boyce is looking for an alternative to the indeed at times excruciating French commentators,” writes Rémi, “may I suggest the Swiss channel RTS2, who also stream the game for free on their website? The lone French-speaking commentator does a decent job.”
33 min Yamal is booked for a foul on Doue.
31 min: Good save by Simon! Doue, 25 yards out, hits a surprise shot that goes through the crowd and is pawed away by Simon. That’s a fine save because he must have seen it late.
Moments later Hernandez’s cutback finds Mbappe, whose mishit shot from 12 yards is comfortably saved.
28 min France were probably the better team before Nico Williams’ opening goal. A few minutes later they’re 2-0 down and in all sorts.
Mikel Merino, who scored a dramatic winner on this ground against Germany at Euro 2024, has doubled Spain’s lead. Oyarzabal was again heavily involved. Merino moved forward in the inside-right channel, played a give-and-go with Oyarzabal and raked a right-foot drive past Maignan at the near post. That’s a lovely goal; the timing of Merino’s run and Oyarzabal’s return pass were immaculate.
GOAL! Spain 2-0 France (Merino 25)
Bang bang!
Updated
Nico Williams has blasted Spain in front. Yamal ran at Hernandez and guided a low cross into Oyarzabal, back to goal near the penalty spot. He fought to shield the ball and then laid it off deftly to Williams, who roofed a first-time shot from eight yards.
Updated
GOAL! Spain 1-0 France (N Williams 22)
It’s not goalless anymore.
Updated
20 min France pass through Spain with striking ease, only for Rabiot, 20 yards out, to find Row H.
That was the 13th attempt at goal in the first 20 minutes. It’s goalless but great fun.
18 min Spain’s turn. Nico Williams beats Konate with a typical stepover and whips a shot from the angle that is shinned away at the near post by Maignan. His position was very good and made for a comfortable, if slightly ungainly, save.
17 min France are having a good spell, with their front four all looking sharp. Doue cuts inside from the left and forces a shot from 20 yards that is too close to Simon.
15 min The replay of that Mbappe chance is quite interesting. Unai Simon anticipated what Mbappe was going to do and dived very early to stop the ball reaching Olise in front of an open goal Brilliant goalkeeping, but risky too because he left a big gap and a player as good as Mbappe could have made a complete fool of him.
A bit like this.
13 min: Hernandez hits the bar! France take a short corner on the right, allowing somebody (not sure who) to roll the ball back towards the edge of the area. Rabiot dummies it and Theo Hernandez cracks a shot that pings the top of the crossbar.
That corner came from another half chance, with Olise’s shot from close range well blocked by Huijsen.
10 min Perhaps the status of the Nations League, which sits somewhere between friendly and major tournament, is a sweet spot for teams to play with freedom and intensity. Or maybe I’ve pulled that out of my aperture in an attempt to explaina very exciting first 10 minutes.
8 min This is pulsating stuff. Nico Williams’ shot from the edge of the area is too close to Maignan, then Hernandez has a shot blocked.
Replays show that the earlier corner hit the arm of the unsighted Rabiot. I don’t think the arm was right by his side, but it was close enough – given he didn’t see the ball, and it might have been deflected – to preclude any VAR intervention.
6 min: Chance for Mbappe! France cut Spain open in transition. Dembele runs from halfway to the edge of the D and times his through pass carefully for the onrushing Mbappe. He could shoot, probably should, but instead tries to pass it across goal for Olise and Simon dives to push the ball away.
Updated
5 min After a bit of a scramble in the France area, Yamal has a close-range shot blocked at source. The ball deflects behind for a corner, which leads to a Spain appeal for handball. Michael Oliver doesn’t give it but I assume it’s being checked by VAR.
The pace of the game is terrific.
4 min A dangerous cross from Porro is headed away. At the other end, barely 15 seconds later, Theo Hernandez cuts across a decent rising drive from the edge of the area. Simon has it covered even though it only just clears the bar.
In other news, Germany’s favourite inverted full-back Marc Cucurella is being booed every time he gets on the ball.
Updated
1 min Peep peep! France, in their white change strip, kick off from right to left as we watch. Spain win the ball immediately and Kone puts Merino on his backside.
The players are lining up for the anthems. The weather in Stuttgart is slightly more agreeable than it was in Munich last night.
“On the individual cult front, is the closest an English star has got to that Gascoigne?” asks Ian Copestake. “Or maybe I misunderstand the whole cult thing. At least now we have Maddison!”
Oi! James Maddison is a force for good in a dishonest, vanilla world, and anyone who says otherwise is having it.
D.O.O.Mscrolling
“Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “France’s front four – Doue, Olise, Ousmane and Mbappe – could spell DOOM for Spain.”
Our inner pedant is screaming that really it should be DODM, but we’ve put an orange ball in his mouth to chew on. DOOM is a lot more fun, although experienced watchers of the French national team will notice the front four also spells MOOD.
“Looking forward to tonight’s entertainment, which I will be able to enjoy on terrestrial telly because I live in France,” says Jeremy Boyce. “However I will have to put up with the comedy-act double commentators who always seem more interested in cracking in-jokes between themselves than actually commenting on the action. That’s France for you.
“Both teams seem to be taking it seriously as regards selection and we’re all going to enjoy seeing the flying yoof on both sides. May the better yoof win.”
Given the nature of our liveblogs, I don’t think I’m in any position to criticise commentators for going off-piste.
He’ll be 18 soon. Where does time go?
Team news: Doue starts
Spain make three changes from the quarter-final over the Netherlands. Pedro Porro, Mikel Merino and Pedri come in for Oscar Mingueza, Fabian Ruiz and Dani Olmo.
While Luis de la Fuente is resting his Champions League winner, Didier Deschamps starts both Ousmane Dembele and Desire Doue. There are five changes from their quarter-final against Croatia: Doue, Adrien Rabiot, Pierre Kalulu, Ibrahima Konate and Clement Lenglet replace Bradley Barcola, Aurelien Tchouameni and the injured defensive trio of Jules Kounde, Dayot Upamecano and William Saliba.
Spain (4-3-3) Simon; Porro, Le Normand, Huijsen, Cucurella; Pedri, Zubimendi, Merino; Yamal, Oyarzabal, N Williams.
Substitutes: Raya, Remiro, Cubarsi, Vivian, Morata, Fabian Ruiz, Gavi, Olmo, Mingueza, Pino, Alex Baena, Grimaldo, Isco, Fermin Lopez, Samu.
France (4-2-3-1) Maignan; Kalulu, Konate, Lenglet, T Hernandez; Kone, Rabiot; Dembele, Olise, Doue; Mbappe.
Substitutes: Samba, Chevalier, Pavard, Digne, Bade, Guendouzi, Tchouameni, Thuram, Kolo Muani, Gusto, Zaire-Emery, Barcola, L Hernandez, Cherki.
Referee Michael Oliver (England)
It’s the Euro 2070 semi-final, and Portugal manager Joao Neves has a decision to make up front…
Preamble
Hello and welcome to live coverage of the Ballon d’Or decider between Lamine Yamal and Ousmane Dembele in Stuttgart. That, at least, is how some people are pitching this Nations League semi-final between Spain and France. It’s a reminder that – despite the best efforts of Paris Saint-Germain and indeed Spain at Euro 2024 -the cult of the individual has never been stronger in football.
That cult began, or at least gathered pace, with Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo lording over the sport for the best part of 15 years. Both are still going strongish, and Ronaldo pilfered the headlines with the winner against Germany in last night’s first semi-final.
Portugal’s win means that, whatever happens tonight, Sunday’s final will involve a previous champion. Portugal won the inaugural tournament in 2019, France beat Spain the final in 2021 and Spain overcame Croatia in 2023.
That turned into a useful stepping stone ahead of Euro 2024, a tournament Spain won so magnificently. They beat four former world champions en route, including France in a pulsating semi-final. We could have another thriller tonight. May the best team – italics, bold – win.
Kick off 8pm.
