#1
My dad disowned me for dating black men.
He himself is 1/4 black.
He tried to speak to me after spreading some serious hate speech about me around town.
I disowned him for being disgusting disrespectful and generally out of his mind.
Best decision ever.
Image credits: tamere1218
#2
My wife’s parents kicked her out when she was 18 when she came out gay. Didn’t speak to them until last year, she’s now 39. I think the only reason they accept it now is because they are getting old but I’m not really sure. I’m sure there are much worse reasons on here but you shouldn’t disown your child for being gay.
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#3
I have disowned my oldest son. He m**ested my daughter, has been diagnosed as a sociopath and we have restraining orders against him. It isn't fun and I never thought I would be that parent.
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#4
My mother and her sister were both adopted into a great family.
Recently, my Grandfather fell ill and we were told to prepare to say goodbye. So the family gathered. My Grandmother has had a hard time with her memory since she had a brain hemorrhage, but she welcomed my aunt into her home during this tough time.
Whilst my Grandfather was in his final week, Wendy (aunt) took my Grandmother's atm card and proceeded to spend well over a thousand dollars on herself and get herself a motel room. She also attempted to steal their car. When my uncles found out, she basically disappeared into the wind.
After my Grandfather passed and his funeral was all sorted. My Grandmother went to an attorney to write Wendy out of any inheritance she would get from their estate when she passes. She didn't press any formal charges, because the whole process would have been lengthy and more painful for her. She didn't need the extra stress.
I'm pretty sure one of my uncles also threatened Wendy to make sure she stayed away from my Grandmother from now on too.
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#5
As Jehovah's witnesses, my parents disowned my siblings and I several times since I was in my late teens. One of the JW “rules” is that you do not associate with others who know “the truth” but refuse to follow it, including family and Parents are encouraged to disown any children who have left the religion. The first time was when I was 19. It upset me, I was heartbroken and eventually they changed their minds only to do it again a couple years later and so on until I stopped caring and no longer attempt to be a part of their lives at all.
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#6
Not me, but my great grandma. This story is really sad but also interesting, so I thought I'd share it.
She was a young creole teenager- french creole was her first language, and she was a quarter-to-half black like me, with tan skin and loose brown curls. She was born in Florida, but when things started getting worse for black people in Florida, her family relocated to Texas. For those who don't know, creole people tend to play heavily into colorism. Although they are definitely mixed race, they prioritize light skinned people. The looser your curl, the lighter your skin, the more white you look, the better. Her parents had high expectations for her to marry a wealthy, light skinned man who would take care of her.
Instead, she met my great grandfather. A poor, dark-skinned man jumping from job to job working for farmers and trying to make a living. The two of them fell in love. They were just teenagers. Her parents threatened to disown her if she continued seeing him, and like a rebellious teenager, she refused. They wanted her to do better. She wanted to be in love.
They might have broken up eventually, if she didn't get pregnant. But she did, and that was the end of it. Her parents basically said "you've ruined your life" and disowned her right there. The whole family disowned her. No one would speak to her- aunts, uncles, cousins, not a single person stood up for her. So she had no choice. The two of them moved to California, so he could get a job picking oranges. He built a house. They had their first daughter. She was 16. She never saw her family again.
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#7
Not the disowned child, but my older brother is. He has been a petty crook as long as I could remember, into hard d***s since his pre-teens, and pretty much a full-blown sociopath.
He treated every girl in his life like meat. I remember him as a teenager calling his girlfriend a s**t and because she didn’t want to blow him. When he knocked some chick up years later, he had a daughter, and one of the first things out of his mouth in the hospital after her birth was “she’s gonna grow up to be a w***e like her mom.” Let’s just say that child is better off not having him as a father figure (she’s been adopted since then and is living a happy childhood last time I checked).
He treated my parents like trash. He would be in and out of jail and they would take him in whenever he was out. Then he’d find a job, lose it, and go back to jail. Rinse and repeat. He would get in physical fights with my mom, dad, me, he’d kick our dogs, cats, etc. We’d have to get new drywall to replace the holes he punched through those walls. He’d have freakouts and smash things all around the house. Living with him was a nightmare.
The last straw was him walking out on his kid and her mother, and starting a gang fight at our house over a d**g deal gone wrong. Things got really violent and I’m pretty sure weapons were involved. He left the house, and on that very same night, he came back because he needed a place to stay. When my dad said no, he started fighting my dad. I stepped in at that point and almost beat the hell out of him (no one f***s with my dad, no one). It ended with my dad having to hold me down to stop me from killing him, and my brother walking away down the street yelling obscenities. Haven’t seen him since. This was 6 years ago.
At this point, he’s either in jail or dead. I may have every reason in the world to hate him for everything he’s done, but I don’t. He’s a tortured soul who has let his demons get the absolute best of him, plain and simple. I just hope that he finds some kind of peace, even if it takes death for him to do so.
Bill, if you’re reading this, you’re my brother and I still love you, and I hope you’re okay, wherever you are.
Image credits: anon
#8
I was disowned for coming out.
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#9
My mother disowned me in 2013 for being gay. She told me that I wasn’t her son, and she wanted nothing to do with me until I turned myself straight. I laughed in her face and told her to “f**k right off and that she wasn’t my mother to me anyways”
About a year later she called me out of the blue, and I reluctantly answered. She was crying saying how much she missed me and how much research she had done and that she had talked to my sister lots and that she understands me now. I listened and she sounded sincere. Since then we have been best friends ever since, and she constantly asks me things about the LBGTQ Community and is in a constant state of learning. It’s so cute to see her ask people their pronouns if she isn’t sure, and to see her newfound acceptance for humans... Especially since when I was growing up I was taught immense hatred.
Image credits: WalkerJAdair
#10
My ex wife disowned my son.
We both married young when I was in the military (high school sweethearts). She became pregnant 6 months into our marriage. I don’t think she connected with him at all after he was born. The most she did with him was Instagram photo shoots where she painted herself as #1 mommy. When he turned 3, I left the military. A year after that, she ran for the hills. I remember it like it was yesterday. I sat down with her at a local restaurant to talk divorce plans. We split all of our financials and material items down the middle. We finally got to custody for my kiddo (something I dreaded to discuss because fathers never gain custody in my area) and she tells me “I want absolutely no responsibility”. I was taken back and I asked if she was sure. She was. That one sentence hurt me more than anything else that happen during that time. My biological father wanted nothing to do with me and now I was seeing it happen with my own child but with his mother. I received full custody and she married within a year afterwards (she had another child too). Her parents try their best to be apart of his life but she still does her best to avoid him. He’s 7 now and used to it, but I know it weights heavily on him. S**t sucks a*s but it’s life I guess.
Image credits: Yardbird753
#11
My biological father divorced my mom and also his 3 kids, basically bouncing out of our lives and making it clear he wanted next to nothing to do with any of us when he left.
Many years later, at my older sister's funeral, that he had the f*****g gall to attend, I asked him why he did that he said, "I thought it would be easier for everyone." He actually meant it was easier for him to run home to his wealthy family and enjoy a second adolescence while my single mother worked 2 jobs to feed 3 kids under 10 with zero child support from him.
Image credits: gambitgrl
#12
Do adopted kids count? We adopted a 3 year old from foster care. Cutest, sweetest kid. He had a few issues, but we mostly figured it was because of his history. The issues escalated quickly. When he was 7 he hit our dog with a golf club. We had to keep him away from our dog and our cat. The cat disappeared - we assumed she got out and ran away. Found out years later that he k**led it and threw it in the woods.
The last straw was when he burned our home down. We sent him to a residential treatment center where he stayed for 2 years. During that time, he molested a roommate and became extremely violent. The insurance company told us that they wouldn’t pay anymore and we’d either have to pay for him out of pocket ($40k a month) or bring him home. We have younger children and it wouldn’t be safe. We ended up telling the state we wouldn’t bring him home. So now we have a verified a**e report against us because we wouldn’t bring him back (even though the therapists agreed with our decision). I don’t love him. I wish the best for him, but I don’t feel anything toward him.
Image credits: Steph83
#13
My father disowned my older sister when she was in high school. She had been r***d while walking to a friend's house and he blamed her. She later tried jumping out of a moving car because she was depressed and s******l. My dad never liked my sister and refused to go to any father-daughter dances. He was distant to her for seemingly no reason. He finally said he disowned her after she was taken to a mental hospital to help with her behavioral issues stemming from the r**e and literal daddy issues. He called her "broken goods" when he disowned her. Because she was disowned, she got pregnant at 17 to spite him, and it sealed the deal for my dad.
My sister is jealous of me because I was the younger, beloved child that my dad always wanted. But she doesn't see that he treats me like a doll and makes degrading comments when my looks aren't up to his standards. My sister grew up with a voice and a free will. My father hated that. The only reason he loves me is because he not only broke my free will and my ability to choose, but thinks of me as clay that he can "mold into the perfect daughter".
Now I'm trying to break the mold and ignore him now that I'm an adult, but it's hard accepting it's okay not to be perfect. My sister still has mental issues from everything my father has put her through. She's become literally crazy and she requires meds and a lot of therapy even now.
TL:DR
My dad disowned my sister because she was a free spirit, imperfect, and "damaged goods".
Image credits: Germellon
#14
My mother simply didn’t want kids but never bothered to prevent having all three of us to different men. She tried to have my dad put in jail for “abuse” meanwhile he was working two jobs to support us and would come home to a filthy house and my diaper completely loaded. She put all three of us in foster care and luckily my dad got me along with my other half sisters dad got her but the oldest of us spent 18 years of her life in foster care. I last saw my mother when I was six because she had seen that my dad was successful and wanted to use him for money.
He brought me to a park to meet her and she blatantly ignored me and instead was all over my dad. He’s a smart man and realized this and that’s the last time I ever saw her. She never sent one birthday card or ever paid a dime of child support to my dad. Because she didn’t want kids and wouldn’t take any steps to prevent it three separate times. Congrats mom, you’re the worlds biggest P.O.S.
Image credits: Meowmix97
#15
I asked my biological father at 28 why he never tried to see me after he and my mom got a divorce. He said he never wanted to try for any custody arrangement because that meant he would have to pay child support. So the fear of child support led him to stop talking to his nine year old. He’s currently doing the same thing to my two younger half sisters. Some people just really shouldn’t be parents.
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#16
I can approach this from the other side. My parents have disowned me. I was raised Jehovah's witness and when I rejected the faith right after high school they kicked me out. I came home to the house to find the locks changed out. I was paying rent so I had the police come and tell them that I had to he let back in. So I lived at home for another month before being kicked out again. After that I was homeless for a little while. The last time I spoke to my parents was me calling and telling my mom that I was getting married, they had no interest in attending.
I hate whenever I hear about the importance of family. F**k family. Just because someone is a blood relative doesn't mean s**t. Family are the people you choose to have in your life. I get angry when people tell me that family is important, or that you only get one mom and dad. It wasn't my choice to be disowned. It was their choice to disown me because the love 8 old, creepy p**ophile protectors in Brooklyn more than they love me.
Image credits: anon
#17
Not me, but a high school friend is disowned by her parents, and they have custody of her daughter. Why?
Friend graduates early from high school, they expect her to start college at 17. She gets knocked up by her 25 year old junior hockey player boyfriend, who promptly leaves town. Friend lives with parents and goes to community college while raising her daughter. Starting to make it work. Then....
Meets super trashy boyfriend from HAWAII! She drops out of her degree program, quits her job, and moves to Hawaii because she is in LOVE, d**n it!
Her parents are creeped out, and refuse to let her daughter, their grandchild, move to Hawaii to live with a guy they’ve never met. Friend says she’s in love, f**k you all, I’m never coming back! Parents sue for custody and are now her daughter’s official parents, and haven’t spoken to Friend since.
Her daughter hasn’t seen her mother since 2012, poor kid.
Image credits: skynolongerblue
#18
I’m not the parent but the child and it was because I’m an atheist as well as not letting my mother decide how I raise my child. We haven’t spoken in over 3 years now.
Image credits: anon
#19
My dad disowned me this year because I came out as one of the LGBTs :) it's very painful. I dream about him hugging me sometimes.
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#20
My parents disowned my oldest sister. She always struggled growing up more than us (she became a teen mom with a bad older dude, partied a lot, etc), but my parents helped her a lot. They do okay for themselves, but had a no-co-signing rule for all six of my siblings and I. Still, they co-signed for her house so she could get a head start.
She didn’t pay the mortgage for almost 3 years before my mom got served in front of all the other nurses at her work.
My parents worked tirelessly to try to work out deals where my sister and her family kept the house and got some leniency, but to no avail, because my sister never showed up for court dates. During this time, she paid $12k for IVF and got pregnant with her fifth kid.
When my mom demanded some of the money back, she accused my dad and my brother of beating her sons when my parents took them to Disney World (he didn’t) and said she’d file a police report if he asked for money again. They kept asking, cause it wasn’t true.
She awkwardly joined us for Christmas, and punched my brother in the face during the meal for “humiliating” her oldest son by asking him if he wanted to work at my brother’s company for good pay. Her oldest son is in and out of jail, and my brother was trying to help him after his release, but her son said he didn’t want a job and got mad. She then called the cops and told them the same brother had illegal guns in his truck, and they came on Christmas night and searched his truck (no guns found!)
Needless to say, she is not welcome anywhere near any of us and my mom still cries about it, but refuses to talk to her again.
Image credits: badjuju824
#21
I have been legally disowned by my father. When I was 11, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer (this was her second diagnosis in around 4 years, obviously she recovered the first time after intense surgery and a lot of chemo) and he did not want to look after her like he did before. He also had a new gf and her family to look after apparently and he had no issues leaving us. When my mum passed away when I was 14, my brother, grandmother, him and I met up to discuss who I was going to live with (the plan was my brother and his family, father was never considered) and he showed up and declared that he was in the process of going to court to legally emancipate himself from me. He went out of his way to legally declare that I was no longer his child. Just so that my brother (22yo with a wife and 2 young children already struggling on one paycheck) couldn't seek child support.
Needless to say it stung coming only days after my mother's funeral..
Image credits: spankcheeks
#22
My father said my mother's issue was she had too many children and it gave her some kind of brain fever, much like a dog that loses it's mind after having too many puppies.
My mother said my father felt trapped by me. He was planning to leave when it was just my two older brother and then my mother got pregnant with me and he felt obligated to stay.
Now that I'm am adult with two kids myself, I think I realized that both of my parents are are just extremely mentally ill and incapable of loving anyone, including themselves.
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#23
My mother was disowned by her her parents for her interracial relationship.
Yes, we are from the south (Arkansas). There are parts of this that are weird too. My mother initially lied to her parents and said she was dating an Arab man. This was fine but they found out she was lying leading to her being disowned. I guess in the early 70s Arabs were ok but blacks were no-nos.
They disowned my mom but it was fine if we came over. My older sister was close with them but me and my younger sister always felt weird going over there. They adored my older sister though and she stayed over and went on vacation with them among other things. I remember asking my grandfather why he didn't like my mother when I was about 8 or 9 years old at a cousin's birthday party. He just walked away.
These same people who essentially pushed her out of their lives were the same ones she took care of and comforted in their darkest times. She sort of went back to them and they didn't push her away for what I am assuming is they knew the end was near and they were trying to right their wrongs. I have no idea just an assumption. She was there with them until their ends though. My mom might not be perfect but d**n that made me look at her in a completely different light.
Image credits: el_monstruo
#24
My parents disowned me as I married a girl of my choice and not theirs (I’m in India. So arranged marriages are pretty much the norm). Funny thing is their marriage wasn’t arranged. Theirs was a love marriage.
A year after my son was born my mom started relationship with me and my son alone. My dad talks and loves to my son but doesn’t even talk to me. Neither of them talk to my wife.
Image credits: wolfchaits
#25
My sister was disavowed. She was a perfectly normal and happy person until she turned 16, and then out of nowhere she joined a gang of dr*ggies and started breaking into houses and all kinds of crazy s**t... stole all of our stuff on multiple occasions... punched grandma in head over $10 etc etc etc.
The Police had her d**g tested a dozen times and she was always clean... parents spent $10,000 on a stay in a psych place to try and find out if she had a mental disorder or had been s**ually a**sed or something, and there was no indication of any kind of underlying issues.
One say she came home and said that she needed money for "**Another** Abortion" and my parents lost their s**t... no one had known she was ever pregnant, let alone multiple times. They said that they would take the baby but she refused to go through with the pregnancy, so they cut her off then and there... and then it was like she literally never existed.
I asked her why she was living her life this way the last time I saw her, and all she could say was "Because it isn't boring".
Image credits: anon
#26
I wouldn’t say I’ve disowned or stopped loving my son, but it’s real tough to find love for him. He’s almost 14 (next month) and he’s currently out of our home at a treatment facility. He’s averaged two arrests a year for the last two years, and he’s attacked my wife several times, our daughters several times, and the neighborhood kids several times. He’s run away from school, run away from home, and tried to push me off the roof of our house (after threatening to jump off and hurt himself). We have become “that family” in our town where the police are called to our home on a semi-regular basis. He’s been getting more violent as he gets older (not to mention bigger and stronger) and I honestly don’t see an end in sight.
The key fact I’m leaving out is that he’s been diagnosed as high functioning autistic and is also bipolar. That’s like putting walls around a tornado and expecting it to stay inside the walls. A lot of what has occurred he had little control over because of the way his mind is (where he’s constantly at war with himself, structure versus chaos), and my wife and I have tried desperately to give him the best life we can while keeping ourselves and our daughters safe, but **I’m tired.** It’s been 8 and a half years we’ve been going through this with him and I’ve been ready to throw in the towel on him for a while. But my wife refuses to let him go, so we wake up every morning trying to give him the best life for him and our girls.
Image credits: Veritech_
#27
I love my son, but he a**sed me. When he turned that violence on to his sister by choking her, I had to say "Good-bye".
Image credits: 13Lilacs
#28
I signed away my parental rights to my daughter. It sounds terrible, but here is the backstory-
My ex-wife and I separated for a while. Then we briefly reconciled. We had s*x exactly once. We were working things out and then she says there's been another man in the picture and the kid isn't mine. She wants a quick, clean divorce. I refuse to proceed with the divorce until paternity is sorted out.
DNA test is finally done and what do you know? It's mine. I deploy to Afghanistan. When I get back, finally get a hearing for the divorce. It took a judge's order to finally allow me to see my daughter. She was already walking when I saw her for the first time.
Fast forward 1.5 years and I am flat broke, k**ling myself to travel 600 miles on weekends to see my daughter for just a few hours, if at all. (The ex was pulling no-shows and showing up late for my scheduled visits.)
When my daughter called me "other daddy" I knew I didn't have a chance. I knew that my ex was going to bad-mouth me and undermine me every chance she got.
I signed away my rights shortly thereafter. She is 16 years old now. Once she is 18, I'll be able to contact her.
#29
I went out with a woman who had a 22 year old son that she disowned forever.
She didn't like to talk about him at first, but one day she just told me that she caught him m**esting his 8 year old cousin when he was 20 years old. While the rest of the family was having dinner downstairs, including the 8-year-old's mother. I didn't ask anything more than that.
#30
My parents disowned my brother for basically being a huge piece of s**t. He stole a lot of my mom's expensive jewelry and pawned it, stole about $1,000 worth of my video games and pawned them, stole a lot of my dad's tools that he uses for his roofing business and pawned them, he used my parents vehicle as collateral for a loan that he defaulted on, and on top of that, even though this one isn't all his fault, he had s*x with a friend of the family's wife and cause them to break up. So nobody in my family talks to him anymore.
Image credits: DarkMutton
#31
Oooh I can definitely answer this, but from the other side of the story.
My father has always been hotheaded and violent when I was growing up. I always dreaded coming home and as a result, I couldn’t wait to be done with high school. I then moved out at 18 and have been living on my own since. This did not stop him from sending me long lecturing texts, calling me several times a day to check where I was, getting verbally aggressive when I don’t pick up the phone fast enough, and nearly getting the police involved when I was attending a school banquet because I wasn’t back at my dorm by 7pm, or leaving absurd long comments on my Facebook profile pictures about how to be a dutiful daughter.
At the beginning of this year, I introduced my long term boyfriend to the (both immediate and extended) family. I let my parents know that I was planning a 2 weeks long Europe trip with my bf 2 months in advance. That. Really. set my father off. He wrote me a letter, recorded me an audio, yelled in my face through gritted teeth at a public restaurant, and told every family member that he was extremely ashamed of me. He explained that I was born to serve my parents, and doing this (going on my trip that I paid for without asking for his permission) is no different than betraying the social norms and displaying to the world how disrespectful I am of our culture. He has since cut all communication with me. I’m 25, Asian female, independent, working toward admission to grad school btw.
#32
I'm not sure my story will completely fit what you are looking for, but thought it worth sharing. I haven't exactly disowned my son, but it's close enough I think.
My son is a psychopath. And I mean that literally - from an unusually young age he met every single criteria for ASPD. His behaviour became increasingly aggressive, inappropriate, and alarming as time went on. Eventually we discovered a long list of incidents and offences (both violent and sexual) against his peers and even close family members, and we informed the police, social services, and the local mental health teams of everything we had found, and pushed for their help in stopping him and keeping everyone safe.
He was placed into a secure home with constant supervision, and we have made it absolutely clear that we will never accept him home. We cannot support him because of what he has done, and what he continues to do, our priority is protecting his victims and potential victims, and making sure everyone is safe and supported. He's incapable of empathy, and acts without consideration for others, and has caused so much harm, but at the same time, he's still our son, and we love him and don't want any harm to come to him either (despite feeling like he would deserve it at times).
It's particularly difficult to come to terms with as I was the victim of childhood sexual abuse. To be frank, the whole situation breaks my f*****g heart, but we just have to get through the days as well as we can, and my wife and I lean on each other.
There is a lot more to the whole story, but I don't know if anyone would be interested. I'm happy to fill in some details if anyone wants, but for obvious reasons, a lot will be vague.
#33
A little different, I was disowned, but I deserved it. I was an a****t and a mess for a long time, my mom couldn’t keep bailing me out of trouble and watch me self destruct anymore. I wasn’t living at home, she came to see me one last time to tell me she was done, not to contact her, she would no longer have anything to do with me. She was in pieces, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her. But it was the best thing she ever did for me, once she cut me off my rock bottom came hard and fast. After a little while of living on the streets and my a*******n consuming me, I made my way to a detox center, got a few days clean under my belt and never looked back. That was almost 15 years ago. After I was clean a little while I contacted my mom, and little by little we built a relationship again, and now we’re really close. I am forever grateful to my mom for letting me fall and letting me back into her life.
#34
I'm not a parent, I've never disowned a child. My parents disowned my oldest sister. I'm the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister had a horrible relationship with my father, blames me for getting in the way of their relationship. She had her first baby (to spite him) when she was 16 years old. My father refused to give her money because she met a deadbeat child predator, and got pregnant again, the again, and again. She constantly put herself and deadbeat before kids. Dad would send money to girls for Christmas and birthdays and never heard a thing, he finally gave up... She's 30, has six daughters, and lives in a mobile home in North Carolina.
We hadn't seen or heard from my sister until June of this year. My oldest niece contacted me asking to come to Florida (where I live) for the summer to get her and her sisters out of the trailor. I agree, contact sister and she agrees, I set up plane tickets and organize the rooms they'll stay in. When they got here, they were completely disheveled. Clothes visibly dirty, smelled foul, so covered in lice that my white towels stained gray from removing them. My niece informed me that they had been without water and electricity for 6 months. They live in a 2 bedroom mobile home, there are holes in the roof, bugs and rats everywhere. As a family, we decide the girls aren't going back to North Carolina.
We tell my sister to come to my parents house in Florida to get her life together and get back on her feet. She refused because deadbeat is not invited. Ironically, she found out that deadbeat is cheating on her. She confronts him and he kicks her out of s**t hole trailer. Deadbeat said "I would rather be homeless than live with you". Sister now works for the dollar store and doesn't pull her weight with kids. At least the girls are safe now...
Edit: I never really finished my point with the story. My parents had disowned my oldest sister when she moved to North Carolina with deadbeat for six years until my niece reached out to me through Facebook. I had never even met my two youngest nieces until this event. I regret turning my back on my sister. I really hate her and what she put her babies through, but if we stayed in her life for those six years we maybe could have prevented this.
Image credits: Lettucelove185
#35
D***s, violence, theft, repetitively trying to destroy his younger brother, becoming a danger to myself and others, mental health issues that he refuses to deal with any longer or take his meds for anymore. Just plain off the chain behavior that was too much for all of us.
I wouldn't call it disowning, as much as putting down boundaries and setting up fences to protect people who don't deserve his treatment. He also tends to be very manipulative and leans toward narcissistic behavior, in that he will habitually lie about you to others and try to play the victim. This can be very damaging to relationships with people that don't understand what's going on, so I'd rather just not bring myself into the equation anymore, because it's too costly and it's not worth it.
He lacks empathy and doesn't know how to stop himself from his harmful behavior due to a developmental disability, although he will also admit that he knows what he's doing and he knows that he is manipulative and playing games at times. When he was younger and was under the rules of being a minor, then he had all the help in the world and it was easier to deal with.
#36
Not the parent, but my mom ceased all contact with my much older half-brother from a different dad. He was a violent, angry a****t; would steal from and beat up my grandparents and my mom. She finally had enough. He died this year and it's the first time my mom had seen him since she cut him off 15ish years ago. I now have my own kids and I've always supported my mom's decision. That said... I feel so, so sorry for her, moreso than when I was "just" her kid. I can't imagine ever reaching that point with my kids and I'm sure she never did either.
#37
My dad disowned my half-sister (his biological daughter). She had a fling with a guy, had her third child and he beat her up and ditched her.
She had her kids taken away from her because of the unsafe environment her boyfriend put the family in, so she turned to d***s like h****n and m**h. She also started shoplifting.
She was arrested multiple times for d**g use and shoplifting. She refused to go to court on the dates she was supposed to go. This kept happening for a year until she finally told my dad she wanted to get help.
He paid for her to go to rehab, she doesn’t go. She just keeps asking for money, and he keeps giving it to her thinking she really needed it. Nope, just d***s, so he stops giving her money.
She goes missing for a few days, turns out she ODed and was wandering across Mississippi. She was arrested, let out, stayed in a halfway house, then went back on d***s and shoplifted again.
She’s currently in jail, and won’t be able to get out that easily this time. My parents have tried for several years, but they just can’t anymore. She’s in her 30s, and you just can’t force someone to get rehab. They want to have to change their life, and if she doesn’t, there’s no point.
#38
My wife left me and took our son from me when he was 6 weeks old. I fought for over 5 years to see him but in the end had to protect my own sanity. The feeling of that parental love turning into just a "feeling" of his existence is something you simply can't describe.
#39
I grew up two houses away from a family that had like 12 kids. (one dad, one mom, lots of kids) I mean, the oldest kids were having children and those newborn babies were already aunts and uncles.
Anyway, one of their daughters got disowned by her parents because she married a guy that the parents disapproved of. The thing is, nothing was wrong with him. In fact, this family was very religious and in order to be married where they were married, they had to be good people who tried to be good people.
But it made sense why they would disown her. They were a little cuckoo. They refused to let their kids watch Lion King ("simba disobeys his father!!!") or Little Mermaid ("pornography!") or Star Wars (I don't know why on this one). They were crazy super strict parents.
So, anyway, they got married, parents disowned her, and as far as I ever knew never spoke to her again. That family ended up leaving that church and moved a few states away to their cabin, where they could create their own religion, basically.
Image credits: symphonicrox
#40
My parents got divorced and my mother decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she neglected my sibling and I and kicked us out of her house. Because the court system favours the mother, she got custody despite nobody asking us or looking too far into it and my dad had to give her the house and child support.
Despite this, she didn't do anything for us and we ended up living with him anyways and she spent our child support on world travels and wouldn't ever buy us anything.
She met a guy, sponsored him, he had a son and that became her son. I was now nothing to her.
They divorced, he stole all her money and she ended up homeless until family took her in and it's been shaky since.
She went off the deep end about a year ago and I tried to get involved to help her but she kept being demeaning and went crazy, got arrested and I cut off ties. She threatened to come shoot me and I called the police and even went to try and make a police report but nobody would listen to me and the guy at the counter at the police station laughed at me. It was very bizarre.
#41
My parents have disowned me to some degree. We still talk a few times a year but we are very low-contact. During college they had gestured that I was going to be 'fully' disowned after I graduated so I built a life away from them.
I figure they still love me but my "lifestyle choices" (transgender) are untenable with their own. My dad told me we weren't related when it came to business and didn't want others at his company finding out. My mom told me she didn't like being around me in public. My siblings and relatives all have worked at my dad's company, but nope, not me. One of my siblings bounces between being employed there and not, due to basically sucking at holding a job. I had to figure out everything myself while my siblings get chance after chance.
I am the only child who has a college degree, got their own job, stable relationship and support themselves. But I am the bad one.
I haven't seen most of my grandparents for years. I haven't seen my oldest grandpa in about 6 years. I am figuring one day I am going to be told he died and I am not allowed to go to his funeral. Or he will die and I just won't be told.
I haven't seen most of my cousins in years. My uncle threatened me as a teenager over being gay (I am in my late 20s) so when I officially came out (in my late teens) my parents stopped inviting both of us to the same events; score +1 for my parents I guess. I haven't seen those cousins in maybe 3 years.
The closest collision with my uncle was 5 or 6 years ago. My dad was selling a car to him at the house, so my dad ordered me pizza then rushed me upstairs before my uncle got there.
One of my other uncles is dying apparently and I haven't seen him in probably a decade despite growing up seeing him 2 - 3 times a year.
---
So I just have my siblings and my parents. I see them 2 - 3 times a year for a few days each over the holidays. They send me a text on my birthday, but otherwise we don't really talk about life.
My parents have warmed up over the last 10 years, but when you go through your late teens and 20s thinking you have lost your family, you find another one. I would love to rekindle a good relationship, but I have no idea how or if they're even interested.
#42
Since my mom doesnt have reddit and i dont care if my sister does I'll speak for her. My sister is the worst person I know. Worst than my ex fiancee who cheated on me, lied to me, then tried to make it my fault because im in the Navy and across country.
Shes a d**g a****t, narcissistic, drunk, and a*****e. The worst traits of our a*****e ex stepfather. She may or may not be carrying on the tradition in my family of teenage pregnancy, no one in my famiy talks to her so i can't confirm it but I dont doubt it. She blames my mother for everything bad that had happened to her, claims i molested when we were 9 or 10, claims i planned a s**ual a**ault that happened to her, etc etc etc. She cannot be anymore diffrent from me and my siblings, and cannot stand that me and my brother are no longer traumatized by our childhood. She has blocked 90% of my family and no one misses her.
#43
Biological father left my mom as she was pregnant with me. was in and out of my life until a couple of months after I turned 11. 2 years of no contact whatsoever I get home from school and my mom greets me on the porch. she said my dad is here and wanted to see me...the giant catch was he was holding my newborn sister. I immediately left and now I haven't seen or heard from him in 15 years. he was married, had a stepson, and has my sister. living a life like I didn't exist.
on the other side of the coin. my mother had an episode a couple of months before my wedding, demanded the money back that was gifted for some of the expenses and cut all ties with me.
toxic is toxic. family or not you have to do what is best for YOU.
#44
So I'm not the parent or even the child of this case but I have a cousin who has been disowned by everyone in the family. She's the oldest cousin on my mothers side of the family and has burned so many bridges its scary. Here's a list of things she's done to make everyone hate her.
* When she went to go live in my grandfathers Buddhist temple she broke the washing machines
* Started several fires causes she was cold (set her room on fire)
* Would secretly sell the monks stuff (traditional/antic worshiping tools)
* Tried to sell my brothers ashes (Yes, you read that right)
* Refused to have an abortion because she saw a horror movie about aborted babies coming back to k**l their mothers (Not saying that abortion is good or bad just saying she's crazy)
* Had a kid out of wed lock and refuse to feed him the amount he needed because it cost too much
* Her son is special ed and malnourished because of how she tried him as a baby
* Constantly blames everyone else for her kid
* Dumps her kid on anyone who has sympathy for him
* Blames her son for all of her problems
* Is verbally a*****e with him (Its really sad)
* Has said several times and I quote "Sometimes I wish he wasn't so ugly so people would just kidnap him already" (Her words not mine)
* Barely has a job and spends all day on world of war craft (to this day still)
* Has started fires because she likes to sleep with a hair dryer on at night UNDER her pillow
* Got married and drove her poor husband away by constantly accusing him of cheating
* Stabbed an aunt at some point when refused money
* Tried to stab me for refusing to help her (She wanted me to get her a job at my job, that wasn't a bridge I wanted to get burned)
* Begged my mother to help her open a restaurant then let her do all of the work before changing everything and telling my mother to F off
* Once the restaurant failed she came crawling back asking for money
There's a lot more to go on about but those are some of the examples I can think of off the top of my head. Last time I heard about her she lost her 2nd child in the divorce and is no longer allowed anywhere near him. I know my grandmother still keeps in contact with her but only for the sack of the child. No one else wants to even get close to that dumpster fire. I haven't seen her in over 3 years myself but I know she will come for me one day because everyone owes her something. And about her son, many people in the family have tried to get the government to take him away from her but nothing has happened so far. Granted my mother is Asian and this all went down in an Asian country not the united states, so things work differently there.
#45
Friend wanted to move out and be independent, which was appropriate, because she was 22. Her parents wanted to keep her under their thumb, and told her she couldn't move out. A huge argument ensued. She grabbed all her stuff and left. And was promptly disowned by both parents.
Makes sense, right?
#46
>cliché not me but...
My mum got taken out of my grandparent’s will, and she only got to know so because of her sister. Her side of the family has always been very conservative and rather “communal”, so ‘til death do us apart’ is serious business with them.
When she ran away for over a week without giving any notice, leaving me an my sister alone, only to come back with some stranger we couldn’t tell anyone they were living with us, it was obvious things were about to get hairy.
She divorced, and remarried in the span of about 6 months trying to keep everyone in the family out of the loop. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone learned about it through the invitation to the party. Cries and drama ensured that day. She wasn’t invited to the Christmas family reunion, and she used me and my sister as bargaining chips.
They took away from her any thing that was still in their name. She moved away, and only recently has she been trying to connect back.
#47
My son was in college and not doing the work. I was paying for school. He started withdrawing from classes in the last month of the term, then just hanging around with friends instead of going to class. He kept just enough credits to sign up for the next term, so I was unaware of his lack of progress until he needed to sign up for a fifth, then a sixth year to complete his degree. He eventually graduated but looked for work so slowly it took almost two years to land any job at all. I was at my wits end what to do and friends, family and even some professional counselors I consulted told me he was in need of "tough love" and I should kick him out; with the expectation that faced with cold reality he would suddenly get a lot more responsible.
I demurred. While I was very unhappy with his attitude and progress in launching his life, I could also imagine a lot worse things could happen to him (such as d***s and criminality) if I withdrew the only stabilizing influence he seemed to have (living at home being supported by me). In the end, he hated his first job, worked hard to get a better one and then a few years later a really good one. He's fully on his own, he's got an active circle of professional friends, he's financially responsible and may buy a house next year. I'm so glad I ignored all the well meaning but harsh advice and just let him mature on his own timeline. Sometimes a harsh limit may work for some kids, but sometimes it isn't needed. Hard to know what's right in the heat of the moment.
#48
My mother would never answer this.
At present, I am 32. Yes I am divorced but I do not see that as a failing. I make good money. I support myself. I live 2200 miles from my home town because it was a d**g infested s**t hole. In short, I see myself as a success.
My father passed several years ago. He did the best he could. He loved me and he was proud of me.
My mother. She abused me mentally and physically every day that I interacted with her. I stopped speaking to her in 2015. I was an accident. I was born only 10 months after my sister. My father was Catholic and my mother was spineless. No birth control. I was never wanted. I was a burden.
My parents divorced when I was 4 because of all this.
My father became a loving, good man. But he died. Several years ago. Factory work, lung cancer.
My mother is still alive. Damaging my brother. My sister. My nieces. I wish she would die.
#49
We pretty much disowned one of my older brothers.
We can’t get him out of our lives fully for a few reasons that I’ll get to in a second, but here’s basically everything I know about that made us kick him out for the final time
- he stole money
- he used d***s in the house
- he never got a job (even tho we had been giving him help for a very long time)
- he ‘borrowed’ money from my brother that he never gave back
- he accused me and my little sister of stealing his stuff (we never did)
- he made my mum s******l
- he talked a lot of s**t on my dad constantly when he wasn’t around/ awake
- he threatened to beat up my little sister
- he’s buying phones and stuff and putting my mother’s name and our current address down so we keep getting letters about him
- we have nothing to do with these letters
- he refuses to change his address so he can keep getting more Centrelink money
That’s just everything I know, I used to be close with my older brother but after he threatened my sister I know I disowned him.
#50
A cousin of mine was disowned by his parents and the rest of the family. He was a real piece of s**t and did numerous things that eventually culminated in him getting disowned. Some of the things he has done:
-got involved with a loan shark that was also linked to a gang. He owed some serious money and it got to the point where family members were being threatened by either beatings, stalking, or even kidnapping kids. Thankfully his dad is a well respected man and a successful businessman and brokered a deal. The piece of s**t didn't think anything was wrong with what he did.
-He m**ested and abused co-workers at his father's company. This lead to some long trials and eventually it was agreed that the family would fire him because he was too much of a liability.
-He has abused his family name and family status against authorities, friends, and family to get what he wants. He dragged his family's name through mud and even tanked business relationships because of it.
Those are some of the things he's done that were big. He has a list of other s**t that even I may not know of or that are smaller in scale and caused problems for his direct family and relatives. Eventually his dad gave him some money, a car, and a one way ticket to the US. Told him if he thinks he can make it and thinks that he (his father) is holding him back, then he can go. Haven't heard from him in almost a year now, but some s**t occasionally crops up regarding him.
#51
Not me but on behalf of a good friend.
Girl has a relationship of almost 11 years with some guy, and they have a 8 year old kid. Guy gets caught cheating on her, and within 6 months he's out and living on his own. I'm not totally sure on how they share the kid, since there was no marriage to divorce, but 2 weeks ago the guy says he's buying a house several states away because he needs to figure himself out. Says he's gonna finish college and it's gonna take 3 years to do it and doesn't want to let the kid know if/when he'll be back, leaving the girl to take care of the kids by herself. I honestly could not fathom a reason to leave your 8 year old child behind, but then again I've always been a family oriented person.
#52
Ask Kate Gosselin. She institutionalized Collin at the age of 11 for 3 1/2 years for ADHD!!! I guess 'he just didn't know how to help her enough!".
#53
My dad was generally pretty a*****e. Like, mostly a normal childhood but roughly once per month he’d drink way too much and I’d have to get between him and my mom. Throwing furniture through walls and stuff like that. Like, I would get a bunch of cool stuff for christmas but I’d also have to tell my aunt that the hole in the wall was from me and my little brother playing football inside. The first time I fought him to protect my mom I was probably like eleven. I’ve called 911 because he pushed my mom to s*****e.
They ended up getting divorced within three months of me leaving for college. I came home for spring break and he told me he threw all of the family photos away because my mom wanted them - including literally all of my childhood pictures. I had to sleep on the couch in the living room because he’d already given my bedroom to his new girlfriend’s jobless 25 year old son - I’d been gone for six months and my room had a hundred Mountain Dew bottles with spit tobacco in each one, filth, and my stuff was buried under all of it. I don’t remember exactly what I said about the pictures but he basically told me to choose between having a relationship between him and my mom. I told him I wasn’t choosing and he said I was kicked out of the family. I’ve seen him once since and that whole fiasco was eight years ago. Honestly, my biggest fear is that he brags about me when people don’t know the truth but who knows. I’ve come to terms with the whole thing about as well as is possible. Then again, maybe he just tells everyone I’m the a*****e. Who knows?
The crazy thing is, my dad’s mom died when he was thirteen. His dad remarried within a year and kicked my dad out by the time he was fifteen and my dad never forgave his dad for that. That’s the part I really, truly, will never understand.
#54
My grandma disowned my father because of the way he acted towards the family. He used to tell my mother that his father once chained him in the basement when he was a teenager and his sister secretly brought him food. He also told my mother that his father used to beat him.
But around the time my parents seperated, he suddenly started arguing it was all his mothers doing. However his sister was a witness back then and saw everything that happened. Plus his father (my grandpa) was always very shady. Eventually my father disowned my grandma first, so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
My grandma keeps saying until today that if he gets help with his psychological problems, changes and comes back on his own will, she would acknowledge him again and accept him back into the family with open arms.
Just that my father will never do that because he keeps dwelling on the past that he made up with his own mind. It's pretty obvious because he also keeps twisting things concerning my mother where I obviously trust my mother way more than him.
TL;DR My father disowned his mother (my grandma), so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
#55
I learned that my son was hitting people yelling at teachers trying to a*****t them got suspended so many times for little things too got so bad he got expelled from many schools and got so bad he tried to hit me.
#56
Oh fun.
My youngest (16 at the time) decided one day to beat on his mother over an argument. (granted she can be annoying but she basically went out of her way, way beyond normal) well he broke a door with her ribs.
She sorta let it slide a bit, i wasn't home or he would have been in the hospital.
She didn't want to be home alone with him anymore. She didn't let me toss him out. My mother (his grandmother) basically said its our fault we don't treat him right. 🤨
About a year later (he's 17 then) I had massive spine surgery, he was being a d**k so I took his ps4 cord.
Well he decided to rumble with me, i wasnt trying to fight i mean seriously 7 days before i was actually in two pieces. Well he pushed me and threw a punch, and he got what he wanted. I tossed him out.
At 18, my mom calls (he stayed there and is still there at 22yo) saying he smashed up her house, threatened my grandmother who's 93 at the time. I half laughed and said well.... Guess it's not me.
Fast forward a few more months, my wife accidently overdoses on tylenol (was in her stroke medication and she broke her arm and the doctor told her take the max amount. Yeah that aged real well). She gets out and with in a month her stomach explodes from the damage done by the OD.
Shes in critical care and im in week three of her coma and i have a surgery to put a stent in my groin to save my life to be short.
Im at my moms two days after and he's there. I go to walk by and he wont let me by. He pushes me and all common sense leaves my brain and it becomes kinetic. His mom is dying, he hasn't seen her, and decides im weak again, so he tries to use that to his advantage.
Cops come, blah blah blah no changes but i tell him f**k you im done with you.
That was last year. I have 0 intent to reconnect. My wife pulled through, she still kisses his a*s but i cant expect less. That's how she is.
He's still on his pc, on reddit, playing video games and don't work. He don't even leave his room.
Im really not happy with it honestly. He's my son, i don't hate him and wish him well but f**k that.. People who do things like that i have no use for.
He's on here lol which is funny.
My other son? Don't have anything much to do with him either. He works his a*s off, helps us out when we need it. He even has a room here even though i see him maybe 6 hours a week.
#57
I was 8 when my dad k**led himself...my mom still blames me for it...the only time she calls or comes around is when she needs money.
#58
I am not sure if this counts. I didn't disown him, but I went through a dissociative episode after some really intense trauma, and I honestly couldn't feel any attachment and parental love that I had for my son. I tried not to show it, and behave as normally as possible because he was a child at the time and couldn't possibly understand what I was going through. It was pretty disturbing to not be able to feel any sense of bond with him. I eventually got better, but I definitely did not feel what I or most people would call love for him.
