A man in New Hampshire recently called into “The Ramsey Show” with a heartbreaking confession: his 78-year-old wife is spending their entire $7,000 monthly income, leaving them drowning in debt. Bob, 73, told personal finance expert Dave Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruze that the compulsive spending has gone on for years, and his repeated attempts to address it have failed.
“She goes out and she spends and she doesn’t look at what she’s spending,” Bob said.
Ramsey Urges Tough Love
Ramsey didn't sugarcoat his response, instructing Bob to talk to his wife. “You’re out of control and you can’t seem to control it and it’s really sad. Consequently, we don’t have any money and we’re in debt and we have plenty of income,” Ramsey said, suggesting Bob give his wife one final shot to stick to a written budget before cutting her off financially.
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The couple brings in over $7,000 per month but still owes around $40,000 in non-mortgage debt, including $25,000 on a car, $10,000 in credit cards, and a few thousand left from a roof job. They also still owe $267,000 on their house.
Cruze suggested taking the drastic step of restricting the wife's access to all bank accounts if the behavior continues.
“If it’s an addiction like this, this is what we would tell couples—the one that is struggling does not get access to the money,” she said. “She doesn’t get access to the checking account.”
Ramsey pressed Bob on why his wife hadn't sought help. “She knows that she’s the problem to our problem,” Bob replied. Despite admitting fault and feeling remorse, Bob said she continues to repeat the behavior. “She’s always feeling sorry for it.”
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Cruze urged Bob to think beyond the finances. “There’s just chaos happening inside of her, I would imagine, and it’s coming out medicating in spending. You’re not getting a great wife either. She’s not getting a great self.”
Ramsey then got direct: “At a minimum, there’s immaturity and princess syndrome or something, right? At a maximum, 2% of the public has been diagnosed literally with a shopping addiction. But most of the time, we’re just dealing with somebody who’s being selfish, immature and a princess.”
Ramsey added that part of the problem is Bob himself. “You’ve never told her no,” he said. “We’re going to try this together like two grown-ups that can function. If you are being immature, you can merely adjust the immaturity. If you are an addict, we’re going to discover that in one more month.”
If not, he told Bob to take full control of their finances and shut down her access to funds.
Cruze closed the segment by encouraging Bob to push his wife toward real healing. “She’s not a whole person. There’s a level there that’s eroding her quality of life.”
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