HIS STORY Sam Waudby, 23, student
Hannah and I met on a school trip when we were 15. After some instant messaging, a friend and I went to the cinema with her and a friend. We sat boy, girl, boy, girl. The furthest we got was holding hands.
The first time she came to my family’s house, she was so nervous she threw up. It was a three-hour trip on local buses between Hull and Scunthorpe so we’d stay at each other’s for weekends. She was fun. She was happy. She’d play video games with me and hang out with my friends.
She constantly talked about marriage. When we’d been together a couple of years I proposed. We had friends over and I called her out of the group, took her to my bedroom and asked her. It wasn’t particularly romantic.
I wouldn’t say I was too young; I just hadn’t had enough relationship experience. It didn’t occur to me that anything would change between us. No one in my family had ever split up. She desperately wanted a baby and, when we were 18, Mia was born.
I was at college all day and Hannah would be alone with the baby. We both felt we were doing as much as we could, but that the other should do more.
Hannah started the wedding planning. I didn’t like the idea of spending lots of money on something I felt was unnecessary. We started to go for days without speaking. Not avoiding it – we just didn’t have anything to say. I felt relieved when she said it wasn’t working.
I wouldn’t change anything. We’re both happier now. I do feel bad for Mia travelling between us every weekend. But I can see and call her any time. I wouldn’t say Hannah and I are friends: we talk like neighbours now.
HER STORY Hannah Williams, 22, parent
Sam and I gelled from the start. Nothing really bothered us. Although it was lovely when he proposed it was right after an argument, so probably not the best timing. Mia was planned, but when I told him I was pregnant he went really quiet. I was so happy, if a little terrified of telling my dad. By the end of school I felt further education wasn’t the right place for me.
Getting our own flat didn’t work out financially so we moved in with his parents. But we had drifted apart. It got to the point where he’d spend all day in the games room and I’d look after Mia and we didn’t see each other until bedtime. He wanted to be with his friends and there was friction and jealousy.
We’d been planning the wedding for nearly a year. But one morning, three months before, I woke up with a really bad feeling. At the final wedding dress fitting, I looked in the mirror and absolutely loved the dress, but felt numb.
I turned to Sam one evening and said: “This isn’t working, is it?” We decided to cancel the wedding. I felt scared. I’d let people down. Everything had been paid for and dad had put some money towards it. But everyone was supportive. They all said it was much better to cancel now than end in divorce.
I don’t regret having a child with Sam, but perhaps it wasn’t the right time. He and Mia are really close and I always want it to be that way. We don’t hate each other. We speak when we have to. And, thankfully, his new girlfriend is just so lovely.
