Almost live from the slums of Hollywood, RuPaul’s Drag Race brought us the first annual Despy awards this week. The surviving queens had to impress with their impressions. This is usually one of the highlights of the competition and a chance to throw more shade than a solar eclipse. For the mini challenge the girls got to channel Cher, Björk, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez and Lil’ Kim with paper costumes – good job they gave those bitches safety scissors. Mrs Kasha Davis and Katya won the mini with a bad Joan Rivers and a good Björk but Kasha failed to bring it at the Despys and sashayed away.
Dom: Millennial meltdown! In drag! This episode was all about polishing Pearl for me. Ru kicked the long skinny legs out from under Bushwick’s Candy Darling for her dead-eyed performance. As Katya said, Pearl is gorgeous but she’s “the drag equivalent of a Xanax taking a Valium in a K hole”. When Pearl gave Ru backchat and side-eye I assumed that was her shucked. But no, Pearl unloaded TSC (the shitty childhood) and turned it out. Now hopefully she’ll turn it up.
But can we talk about the teams? The millennials versus the oldies versus the queens of colour? What is this – separatist Survivor?
Megan: They chose the teams “based on how you lined up”? No one believed that. I mean, fine, totally legitimate The Voice-level pairings for who should go home because they’re too similar rather than using the tried-and-true Project Runway randomness method, but never kid some kidders. That was a set-up, because never have so many glamour queens lasted so many performance challenges.
As for Pearl, the Marilyn look was a great play for her energy level – though let us note that Max ignored Michelle Visage and used a grey wig again! – but how do you do that Marilyn and not do some “Happy Birthday Mr President” thing? And you could see she couldn’t take the heat in the audience as people were mocking her, so the question remains about how she’s going to survive a real reading, which is definitely coming.
Dom: One problem is that the queens (except Ginger) just aren’t as shady as the judges this season. Also they aren’t listening. No more Grey Gardens Max. Kathy Griffin warned Katya and Kasha that calling Ginger Minj “the Danny DeVito of drag” was “the least gay reference I have heard in my life! Gay it up. More gay!” But they went ahead and did it anyway. The ads were gayer than their act. Hello Nasty Pig!
Megan: I mean, Kasha and Katya went ahead and did the DeVito joke anyway, and it still landed. One suspects that, like the viewing audience, the live audience was a number of straight ladies, all of whom sort of love Danny DeVito, though his love interest in Twins was not realistic.
The funniest part by far was Miss Fame’s long producer-camera soliloquy about raising chickens. I mean, I get that every glamourpuss needs a backstory, but between the blueing solution and the picture, I rewound it three times to just listen. There was nothing fake about that; it was like she took the advice to Pearl to loosen up and be herself and just ran with it … and Miss Fame is weird as shit. It’s the first time I thought I could live for her.
The best commercial was, by far, the NastyPig Underwear commercial.
Dom: There’s just not enough shade for me. Bianca Del Rio would have dragged them all to hell. “Not today Satan! Not today!” But it was a good character building episode. Pearl lives! And like all millennials all she really needs is a big hug and maybe a Red Bull. But for me this week’s real winner was Miss Fame. You go, chicken girl.
Megan: It was totally unashamed and unabashed, like, “Hell yeah, I was a farm boy and chickens were my friends and I made them pretty long before I made myself pretty.” Screw hugging Pearl, I want to hug Miss Fame. That’s the narrative arc you need to win: pretty-but-vacuous turns pretty-but-totally-weird-and-cool-with-it. That’s actually, like, the narrative arc for anyone pretty still worth being friends with.
Dom: Agreed. That’s my look. Winky face. But we’re here to make drag history not friends. I worry that Miss Fame may end up being a little too feather-brained for the finale.
Best lines
Katya: I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross who said “The key to a swollen vagina is courage.”
Ginger Minj: “I used to think I was funny until I met Kathy Griffin. I’m gonna have to call my mama and have her tell me how good I am.”
Miss Fame on chickens: “You basically flip them upside down, show the asshole to the judge and they say ‘Your bird is healthy.’”
“I hatched chickens. In an incubator. Under my bed.”
RuPaul: “Mrs Kasha Davis your big opening was a little sloppy.”
