The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Patton Oswalt. His story about performing in Las Vegas to the drunkest people in the world gave me at least 10 heart attacks. I could happily watch that man stand on stage and blow his nose for an hour.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …
Monty Python’s Dirty Fork sketch. Only beaten perhaps by my brother, who learned all the lines when he was 12 and still insists on performing it for me on an almost weekly basis 35 years later.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Watching it is like having two deranged men miniaturised, then injected directly into your eyeballs. My personal fave is the Cinco Urinal Shower System. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen …
Spinal Tap. The moment they lower the tiny model of Stonehenge on to the stage tops any visual joke ever for me. The first time I saw it, I thought my brain had broken.
The funniest person I know …
Peter Serafinowicz. He’s just a very silly genius. Often when I phone him, he answers in an officious operator’s voice, saying: “I’m sorry, but the number you’ve called is in Sudbury.”
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
A black kimono with a yellow dragon on the back. I used to wear it with odd-coloured Converse boots. The year was 1986 and I was a prat.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
Copper-coloured mullet.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
When there’s an outbreak of diarrhoea on a cruise ship and it’s an actual item on the actual news.
The funniest word …
I’ve always liked the concept of having to convey the meaning of the word “of” to someone who speaks absolutely no English, or has any other language in common, in just one minute – or you’ll be shot.
Friday Night Dinner is on, you guessed it, Fridays, 10pm, Channel 4
