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Wales Online
Wales Online
Entertainment
Karen Price

Review: John Bishop opens Swansea Arena with hilarious nod to lockdown life, middle age and the city's new venue

What we all need right now is an injection of humour into our daily lives and that's exactly what we got as John Bishop performed the first official gig at the brand new Swansea Arena on Tuesday, March 15.

The comedian brought his Right Here, Right Now tour to the venue and as well as providing his insight into lockdown life and being middle aged he was full of praise for the 3,500-seater arena, which is part of the city’s new Copr Bay district.

The Liverpudlian joked that the venue was so new that the driveway was still being Tarmacked when he arrived and the dressing rooms were still being painted.

Read more: 'I went to the new Swansea Arena for its first warm-up event and this is what it was like'

Bishop's name up in lights in Swansea (Karen Price)

As for the plush new red seats we were all perched on, he told us they had "never been farted on" before. Phew, small mercies.

He was full of praise for the staff, urging us to "put your hands together" for those who had worked tirelessly in the run-up to his gig to ensure it went smoothly.

"No one knew how anything f***ing worked," he laughed, talking about the security pads operating the doors. "The fact this gig has been put on is amazing."

And then he was off. First he shared with us some stories about his previous time in the city when he visited Wind Street. "I've never been anywhere before with a bar named after the people who go into it," he said name-checking Coyote Ugly.

Bishop on stage (Christopher Evans)

This was followed by his thoughts on both Welsh and Scottish attitudes - Scotland are "like a teenage kid" when it comes to independence - before ripping into First Minister Mark Drakeford for his "borrowed suits" and Prime Minister Boris Johnson over Partygate. "That man doesn't even know if he's been to a party - just look at him!"

Bishop started the Right Here, Right Now tour way back in 2019 - a year that now seems a distant dream as so much has happened since.

So between then and returning to the road in August 2021 he gathered plenty more material from his lockdown life with wife Melanie and their three sons.

From the initial lockdown honeymoon period when the sun shone every day and every hour was rose o'clock to putting on weight and becoming obsessed with 'the trainer' from his new Peloton bike and then getting completely fed up of being stuck with your other half 24/7, there was much knowing laughter from the crowd.

And the 55-year-old was keen to share the joys of middle-aged life - from sharing a bed with quite literally his 'hot' wife (thanks menopause) to his constant nightly toilet trips - while the mainly middle aged audience lapped it up.

The finale was a hilarious nod to Adele's latest auto-biographical album, 30, as a video beamed images of Bishop 'singing' tracks for his imaginary album, 55, with lyrics highlighting ailments like his dodgy knees.

After almost two years of various lockdowns, this gig - superbly supported by Scottish comedian and John Hartson lookalike Ray Bradshaw - was just the ticket Swansea needed to open the doors to its shiny new arena. And despite a few teething problems, such as long queues and a very warm auditorium, this beautiful venue is such a great addition to the city.

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