The grandchildren standing vigil at the late Queen’s coffin – the heir to the throne at one end, his brother at the other – is the strongest image of this last week.
For me, it had the same resonance as the note Harry put on Diana’s coffin that said “Mummy”.
It had everybody gulping.
This vigil of the grandsons is unprecedented, and allowing Harry to wear his uniform was significant.
It is quite clear that the Royal Household realised they had mucked up by not allowing it initially, given that he has seen active service.
It was absurd, unfair and tone-deaf. I think he got caught in the crossfire of rules created to get around the issue of Andrew.
The Queen and Prince Philip were very proud of Harry’s service, and that he had found something that meshed with his talents. If it had been up to him, Harry would have served his full term.
When I watched them walk past the Cenotaph on Wednesday, and Harry and Andrew were unable to salute, it was a real humiliation.
But Harry has not made a big fuss about it – he is doing what his grandmother wanted. I suspect the idea for both brothers to wear uniform for the vigil is an olive branch from Charles.
It seems clear to me that they are trying to embrace Harry again – or at least show him that he is valued.
It is also an attempt to keep the focus on the funeral, not the relationship between the two princes.
Every big royal occasion has a big story diverting attention.
For the Queen’s Coronation, this was the relationship between her sister, Princess Margaret, and Peter Townsend.
But while the treatment of the heir and their younger sibling can be imbalanced, there is no doubt the Queen loved the boys equally.
Presenting them as equals for the vigil reflects that.
There is no doubt though that she treated William differently, given his position. Every Sunday when he was at Eton she would ring and invite him to tea. All that said, Harry could get instant access when he wanted – she always took his calls.
After all, the royals may be known as The Firm, but they are still a family. She was CEO and he a fairly junior director, but he still had access to the boss. I think an awful lot of that was down to Harry having lost his mum.
Seeing Meghan take his hand after Wednesday’s procession of the coffin to Westminster reminded me of Diana’s caring instinct.
Earlier, as I stood among the crowds on The Mall, Beethoven’s Funeral Marches filling the air, the sight of the Queen’s coffin passing the hushed but emotional crowds was one I will never forget.
It was a moment steeped in tradition yet like nothing we had ever witnessed before.
The 10 days of national mourning have been a masterclass in ceremony and planning – not just decades in the making, but drawing on royal funerals across the centuries.
Thousands of people are working behind the scenes to meld protocol with meeting modern-day concerns.
And Queen Elizabeth II’s influence is very much evident. She was a woman who revelled in the ceremony and precision of national occasions.
Her Majesty expected nothing less than the highest standards. When I first started on my biography of the Queen, I went to Edinburgh and spoke to some of the committee members of Operation Unicorn, the procedure for if she passed away in Scotland.
For a woman who was outshone as an actress by her sister, this would be – and was – a very dramatic farewell that will have a long-lasting impact.
It was the perfect ending to her glorious reign, from the stately drive through the Scottish countryside and the procession up the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, to Princess Anne accompanying the coffin to London.
My 97-year-old mother has now lived to see five monarchs on the throne. A typical Yorkshirewoman, she’s very matter of fact, and tells me there has been far too much fuss.
But there are important reasons we observe 10 days of national mourning and this complex and splendid series of ceremonies and procedures. The first is to bring the nation together and let everyone be a part of saying a fond and loving goodbye.
The second is to say hello to the new sovereign. The key phrase is “The Queen is dead, long live the King”.
This is exactly what this is all about. It’s introducing Charles, not just in relation to his mother, but as himself.
He is now looked at in his own right – and, by and large, he has been very well received. But also, in a medieval way, this long process is to prove that she is no longer with us.
There is no possible latitude to say, “Oh, she’s gone off to South America”.
Life is very different to when her father George VI died in 1952. TV brings every second of the process into our homes – but we’re also more sceptical and more questioning. Back then, three in four people believed the monarch was directly descended from God. Few would say that today.
Men around the country marked his passing by wearing black suits, with black ties and black arm bands.
While we see the newsreaders on TV in mourning clothes, we don’t see them being worn on the streets or even in the crowds that line The Mall.
The emotion is there though – I could feel it in central London this week. I was lucky enough to be within five feet of King Charles and Princes William and Harry as they passed by.
I thought William looked very stoic and Harry quite downcast. As they walked, they are bound to have been thinking of Diana in 1997.
But maybe it was cathartic – 25 years ago, they were young and it was very unfiltered and raw.
This time they would have known their grandmother was not in the best of health, and anticipated her loss.
The family put on a brave face at the Jubilee, even though it was clear she was fading.
I think she knew she didn’t have long to go and showed great courage to do what she could – meeting people, attending engagements and always smiling.
She had DUTY written through her like Blackpool rock. Now her family are trying to emulate her example.
While watching the boys again following a coffin felt like Groundhog Day, Diana’s funeral was different.
With Diana, people were still in shock at her premature death, and the sight of those two young boys brought virtually the whole world to the brink of tears.
Where Diana’s coffin was followed by charity workers, this was more military and formal – a farewell to a much-loved woman who lived a long life in full, who was also head of state.
I’m not sure though that the Queen would have approved of the sea of camera phones – this modern trend used to irritate her beyond belief.
She hated that when she got in her car nobody was looking at her, everyone was staring at their phones. We are all paparazzi now.
That also puts more pressure on the troops and her family to make sure every tiny detail was perfection.
Those involved had been practising behind the scenes at midnight or three in the morning.
One of the Queen’s bodyguards told me this whole thing should run on rails, it is so practised.
But things can, and do, go wrong. When George V died, part of the Imperial State Crown fell into the gutter during the procession.
His son, Edward VIII, spotted it and wondered if he should bend down and pick it up. But he thought he had better stay in lockstep.
Luckily, an army sergeant swooped down to save the day.
For the Queen though, it ran like clockwork and was no less than she deserved. As several American commentators have said to me over the last few days, the Brits do it best.
Interview Alex Lloyd
