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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Kyle O'Sullivan

Prince Harry says he 'hates himself' for how he handled Meghan's suicidal thoughts

Meghan Markle has claimed the Palace stopped her from going somewhere to get support while she was having suicidal thoughts.

In the fourth episode of the couple's highly-anticipated six-part series, Harry & Meghan, which landed on Netflix on Thursday morning, Meghan speaks about the darkest time of her life.

In heartbreaking scenes, she says: "I was like, 'All of this will stop if I'm not here'. And that was the scariest thing about it. It was just clear thinking."

Mum Doria Ragland is seen wiping away tears, while Prince Harry admits he "hated himself" because he "didn't deal with it particularly well".

Meghan claims she wanted to go to a place to get help during her mental health struggles, but "wasn't allowed" because of "how that would look for the institution".

Meghan Markle speaks about having suicidal thoughts (Netflix)

Harry claims he was "devastated" at not being able to protect his wife while she was having suicidal thoughts.

"I knew that she was struggling, we were both struggling. But I never thought it would get to that stage," he says.

"And the fact that it got to that stage I felt angry and ashamed. I didn't deal with it particularly well. I dealt with it as institutional Harry, not husband Harry.

"What took over my feelings was my royal role. I'd been trained to think what will people say if we don't go to this event, if we're late.

"And looking back on it now I hate myself for it. What she needed from me was so much more than I could give."

Meghan explains how she wanted to get external help, but claims the Palace would not allow her to.

She says: "I wanted to go somewhere to get help. But I wasn't allowed to. They were concerned about how that would look for the institution."

*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch

Harry says he 'hates himself' for how he reacted (Netflix)

Harry says that everyone expected Meghan to "deal with" her mental health struggles like other royals had in the past.

" They knew how bad that was," he explains. "They thought 'why couldn't she just deal with it. Everyone else has dealt with it, why can't they deal with it'.

"This was really different. If you strip all that away and say it was exactly the same, do we still believe she should have sucked it up like other members of the family? Does one think it's maybe time we stop?"

Meghan's mother, Doria, breaks down in tears while opening up on her daughter's suicidal thoughts.

Meghan's mum Doria breaks down in tears (Netflix)

Speaking to camera, Doria says: "I remember her telling me that, that she'd wanted to take her own life. And that really broke my heart because I knew that it was bad.

"But to constantly be picked at by these vultures. Just picking away at her spirit. That she would think of not wanting to be here."

Clearly upset, Doria then pauses for a moment, before adding: "That's not an easy one for a mum to hear, you know.

She then stops to wipe away tears with a handkerchief in emotional scenes in the Neftlix docuseries."

"And I can't protect her. H [Harry] can't protect her," adds Doria.

Meghan and Harry have made more claims in their show (PA)

There were also discussions about the couple's security fears, what they dubbed as their 'Freedom Flight' and claims the duchess was "fed to the wolves".

The couple lost their taxpayer-funded police protection after quitting their roles as senior royals in early 2020.

"Our security was being pulled. Everyone in the world knew where we were," explains Meghan.

"I wonder what would have happened to us had we not got out when we did," says Harry, who spoke about wanting to protect his wife and kids in the opening three eps.

He adds: "I said, 'we need to get out of here'."

They have been through so much (Netflix)

The "unprecedented and in-depth" docuseries, directed by Oscar-nominated Liz Garbus, was billed as a Netflix global event.

Harry has warned "we know the full truth" and spoke of a "hierarchy in the family", a "dirty game" and "leaking and planting of stories".

Last week's premiere came exactly three months after the death of Harry's grandmother the late Queen, with the Windsors still grieving and the King less than 100 days into his reign.

The Sussexes signed lucrative deals thought to be worth more than £100 million with Netflix and Spotify after quitting the monarchy amid the Megxit crisis as they struggled with royal life.

The royals are reportedly preparing to hit back at any claims coming from Harry and Meghan which they believe to be false.

A senior royal source said: "There is a completely united front from the King and his family concerning the numerous attempts to privately make peace with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, which sadly have once again resulted in the other side wishing to air their repeated grievances to the world.

"If there is a need to respond to anything in the upcoming series then you can be assured that response will be swift and robust."

What are your thoughts on Harry & Meghan? Have your say in the comment section below.

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