Ironic, really, that something so quintessentially British could be such bad news for the UK. King Charles and Prince Harry met for a cup of tea on Wednesday, and that’s absolutely terrible for the monarchy. The family feud has been their most relatable content in years.
This sign that a reconciliation is under way might be heartwarming on a human level, but aren’t the royals supposed to be focused on duty and sacrifice? In a world of “compare and despair” thinking, many were grateful for the opportunity to “compare and say: oh yeah” instead. Every family has its issues, and you could feel better about yours knowing that no one is immune. Also, let’s be honest, there has been a sliver of schadenfreude too, not to mention comfort in the idea that at least we’re not that bad. Even our most challenging relative is unlikely to have published a tell-all book full of varying recollections, or slagged us off to Oprah.
However much you sympathise with the royal family – the obligation, the pressure, the endless debate over their new hair colour – the OG nepo babies have it pretty sweet in one respect. Shaking hands and cutting ribbons may not have been the career path they would have pursued if they’d had a choice, and presumably it gets old quite quickly, but it’s hardly difficult or exhausting work. And in return, they reside in palaces, are waited on by servants, and enjoy job security till death do them part. They will never have any money worries, for even a millisecond. The women are required to endure the horror of nude tights at engagements, but still, worth it on balance.
As the rest of us struggle with the stress and anxiety of the cost of living crisis and ever-increasing prices across the board, maybe the disparity of their luxurious lives would have become unbearable if it weren’t for the royal row. Perhaps we would have rioted in the streets, demanding the monarchy be abolished. Admittedly this is doubtful – it’s not the English way to make a fuss – but impossible to say for sure. The family feud proved to be the great leveller. A fallout, a fight, some bad – albeit blue – blood. It showed that the myth of the perfect family was just that, and made it clear money cannot buy happiness, or peace.
The War of the Windsors also gave everybody a topic on which to wax lyrical over the back fence – a way to connect at a time when so many people feel entirely disconnected from their communities. Everyone had an opinion on it, so was a guaranteed conversation starter, and something that could rescue almost all uncomfortable silences.
This was a clean-cut quarrel: although the more understanding among us may have been able to see both sides, people were usually either Team Harry or Team The Rest of Them, which makes for a more impassioned discussion. Psychologists believe that gossip is one of the most important mechanisms for group bonding – so our near-constant speculation over the goings-on between the royals may well have healed – or begun to, at least – similar rifts in other families.
Anybody battling the logistical nightmare of putting together a noncontroversial table plan for a gathering could console themselves with the knowledge that this probably happened at Sandringham too. It can feel like a failing if your nearest aren’t necessarily your dearest. Reassurance that it’s commonplace, ordinary, nothing to be ashamed of, is welcome, no matter the source.
Harry kept stumm about his cuppa with Charles for the rest of his time in London, and during a surprise visit to Kyiv, his silence apparently a condition the king insisted on if they are to stay in touch. But even if the Windsors do reunite, we will always have “Megxit”. If relations between your relations are at an all-time low, and you’re forced together for a three-line whip event such as a celebration or commiseration, just the memory of Megxit can make you thankful for small mercies.
Added to the best-known royal images over the years, along with the balcony kisses and coronations, is the picture of William, Kate, Harry and Meghan making that public appearance at Windsor Castle after the queen’s death. As they took the long, visibly painfully awkward walk down the drive to survey the floral tributes, their every move and micro-expression were filmed, photographed, analysed by commentators, body language experts, the world. If they can survive that, you can make it through Christmas dinner, no problem.
Polly Hudson is a freelance writer
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