HAMMERED
A massive week for Everton, though doesn’t every week now seem a massive week for the formerly Hafnia-sponsored School of Science? Nothing but the best is good enough? A positive result from Tuesday’s meeting with Newcastle and a kindly ruling from the latest probe into the club’s finances would probably do fine.
Amid five Premier League matches played on Easter Tuesday, Everton at Newcastle takes the eye. Not least because half the Toon’s defence either limped off or were carried off during Saturday’s 4-3 win over West Ham. Time then, for Sean Dyche to really go for it at Newcastle, release those defensive shackles, and well, do everything his team has not done this season. Or Dyche has done, well, ever. For all the Dychian growls of positivity, the Ev have been playing like a blocked drain, a torpid defeat at Bournemouth just the latest sorry example.
For West Ham, losing at Newcastle was less thriller, more psychological horror for Kalvin Phillips. After his understandable if ill-advised reaction to Hammers fans outside St James’ Park, it’s unlikely he will be in the team that faces Tottenham at the London Stadium, a fixture Spurs have lost the last two seasons.
At Tottenham, the big news is that club suits are celebrating planning permission for a flash new hotel at the Tottenham Stadium, to be built in time for Euro 2028. Will that include a Postecoglou suite, done out in the finest chintz Paul Robinson and Mr Udigawa once offered at Lassiter’s? That probably depends on Ange’s team making it to Big Cup soccer on a regular basis from now until then.
Another continuum of Saturday’s action will take place at Turf Moor where a tracksuited Craig Bellamy takes charge of Burnley, who face Wolves while suspended Big Vin Kompany takes his Kendall Roy headgear to the stands. That’s despite part-owner JJ Watt’s utterly hilarious April Fool’s joke that he will do the job instead. Stick to American football, JJ: Bellamy v Gary O’Neil shapes up for a decent session of touchline classic “Hold Me Back”.
While Bournemouth v Crystal Palace might simply be an exhibition between two clubs probably out of trouble and with coaches doing Interesting Things with tactics, Nottingham Forest v Fulham honks with vitality and meaning. Like Everton and Goodison Park, the City Ground seethes with insurrection against the suits managing Our League. During Saturday’s 1-1 draw with Palace, that sense of injustice at a points deduction made for a frenzied affair. Next, Forest will try to contain Fulham hot shot Rodrigo Muniz. All that, and it’s still only Tuesday.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“We as a company are committed to opposing xenophobia, antisemitism, violence and hatred in every form. We will block personalisation of the jerseys” – Adidas has banned football fans from customising the German national shirt with the number 44 due to its perceived resemblance to the symbol used by Nazi SS units during the second world war. Concerns over the jerseys were originally raised by the historian Michael König, who said the kit’s design was “very questionable”.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
“Shame on everyone involved in this borefest. Not one player could be bothered to send in a cross to let (Gabriel) Jesus rise to meet it and score on Easter Sunday. To appropriate Padmé Amidala, ‘So this is how nominative determinism dies, with a complete lack of thunderous applause or any atmosphere whatsoever for a big game at the Etihad’” – Noble Francis.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … it’s a rollover!
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