Moving to a new city in your 20s feels like hitting reset, as you suddenly have to build a friend group from scratch.
Sure, you may have friends back home, but it’s different when you want people nearby to grab dinner with, go out on weekends, or just hang out and do nothing together.
That’s why apps like Bumble BFF sound like such a good idea, but as one woman learned, a friend may look perfect on paper and still not be your cup of tea in real life.
Woman goes on blind friend date, immediately regrets it
TikToker Maria (@marmarkatty) posted a two-part storytime about a Bumble BFF match that may put her off from the app entirely. Her first video passed 790,400 views, and the follow-up topped 106,800.
“Get ready with me while I talk about my horrible, really, really weird Bumble BFF experience,” she begins.
Maria explains that after a few days of texting a girl on Bumble BFF, they locked in a happy-hour spot with trivia.
Then they meet up for trivia night, and right away, the vibe changes. “My first thought was she looks like a completely different person,” Maria admits. She checks herself for being shallow, but the disconnect hangs over the table.
From there, little awkward moments pile up. Maria explains she’s gluten-free and usually orders a seltzer, even if it’s not on special. The match insists on getting the server to add seltzers to the happy-hour menu. When the server says no, the match responds with aggressiveness. “There’s nothing I hate more than somebody who’s weird with waitresses,” Maria says.
Another wave of awkwardness
After two seltzers at the first bar, her match insists she show her another place nearby. Even though she tries to resist, she finally relents and offers to drive them there for one last drink.
However, in the dark parking lot, before they head inside, the match asks her to play a song that “means a lot” to her. “‘Ribs’ by Lorde,” Maria says. “Play it for me,” the match responds.
So they sit in silence while the track runs. Mid-song, the match reaches over and grabs Maria’s hand. “I froze,” Maria says. She reminds viewers that this is Bumble BFF, not a date. After the song ends, she says they finally go inside.
Part two: More trivia
When they enter the second bar, even though Maria wanted just one drink, her Bumble BFF sees they’re hosting a trivia night and begs her to stay. Maria agrees but reminds her, “I really am just gonna get one drink and then I wanna head home.”
Right away, she notices two things: the girl is already drunk, and she’s told Maria she has a history of seizures. Maria didn’t feel comfortable letting her walk home alone. “As weird as the night was getting, I could not in good faith let this really drunk girl walk home by herself,” she says.
Things only get more uncomfortable. “She orders a double vodka, which she did not need,” Maria recalls. Then, mid-conversation, her match pats the seat beside her. “She proceeds to then once again grab my hand and put her head on my shoulder.”
Maria sat frozen, wondering what people around them might think. Eventually, she pulled her hand away and slid back to her side of the booth.
Maria kept trying to end the night, but her match dragged it out. She took forever to finish her drink and even pointed across the bar at a man she recognized.
“She goes, ‘I used to hook up with him,” Maria recalls. “We can’t leave or else he’s gonna think we’re leaving because of him.” Finally, when the man left, Maria paid the tab, tipped, and said it was time to go.
Outside, the girl leaned in for another hug before Maria dropped her off. Then Maria went home, blocked her number, and blocked her on every app. “I was really looking forward to that and thought I’d finally found somebody like-minded here,” she says. “I kind of felt weirdly violated.”
Why speaking up is hard, and what psychologists say helps
Plenty of us freeze in moments like this. We don’t want to “make it a thing,” so we let the evening run long and hope it fixes itself.
Psychologists say that pattern often traces back to old rules we learned early: other people’s needs first, yours…later. That belief forces you to keep the peace, even when your gut is screaming at you.
Breaking this pattern starts with naming what you need and practicing small boundaries on purpose. Write it out if you have to: “I want to leave after one drink,” “I don’t want to be touched,” “I need to go home by 9.”
The more you practice, the easier it gets to choose your comfort over someone else’s.
Commenters share their own stories
“I briefly tried bumble bff but quickly realized most of the people on there didn’t have friends for a reason,” one person wrote.
Another added, “I got catfished by a bumble friend too!! I thought it was so weird bc it’s a friend app. Why r we pretending.”
Not everyone had a bad experience. “I have 3 good friends from bumble bff! It does work ladies lol,” someone shared.
@marmarkatty my bumble bff horror story #grwm #bumblebff #storytime ♬ original sound – maria
And one person joked, “plot twist she thought she was on regular bumble.”
The Mary Sue reached out to Maria via Instagram messages for more context. We’ve also contacted Bumble by email for comment.
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