Like a young Romeo standing beneath a Verona balcony, Pete Doherty pleads with his lady love to take him back in that time honoured, deeply romantic manner - on the front page of the Daily Mirror. Oh ambassador, you really do spoil us!
Yes, there he is, gazing upwards, like Mary receiving the Annunciation, as painted by Piero della Francesca.
And what riches await inside: Pete's claim that Kate has "ripped out my heart" but he has since proposed to "a stunning Parisian model named Christine." How "incredibly wayward", as the Mirror delightfully puts it, our Peter is. So much to discuss, but let's just list our favourite details:
1. That he enlists the Mirror to help him get Kate back and then calls her "a nasty old rag" who "kicked me in the head" and "sat on other mens' laps" (euphemism? Literal? A drugs reference? Marina and I are consulting our well-thumbed Dictionary of Youth Slang.)
2. That he enlists the Mirror to help him get Kate back only for said paper to describe in bold type how "Doherty's yellow hands [are] riddled with scabs and cuts."
3. That he enlists the Mirror to help him get Kate back and kicks off this plan is by saying he loves her because "she's a multimillionaire and maybe because of the things she does in bed." (Although come to think of it, it's what the heartbroken boys Marina and I leave in our wake say about us, too.)
4. That he enlists the Mirror to help him get Kate back only for his touching plea to be concluded by the promise "more Kate revelations tomorrow." That'll win her over, you young swain!
5. That he enlists the Mirror to help him get Kate back when it was this very paper that, lest we forget (though God knows they'll never let us), 'exposed' Kate's coke habit way back in whenever it was.
6. That on February 27 of this year he was thrown out of London zoo for trying to get the penguins stoned.
That's amore!
