Do you feel a lot of anger and disappointment? Does your temper get the best of you?
Or, do you watch the news, wondering if the world is coming to an end?
Most of us can get fired up over a lot of things. However, these extreme emotions can put a lot of strain on our relationships.
"I was in a bad mood for over a year," says a friend of ours we'll call Rebecca. "I was involved in a lawsuit at my workplace."
Rebecca says her bad mood nearly wrecked a couple of friendships.
While no one should ignore society's problems or danger in the world, it's critical to guard our emotional health. Having a healthy mind and spirit helps us defeat negativity and danger.
These tips can help:
_ Strive to be the adult in the room. If something terrible has happened, you certainly need to acknowledge this. But, watch your words carefully so you help to stabilize the emotions of others.
_ Realize that self-control helps you feel better. Keep in mind that if you speak with calmness and strive to make good decisions, you won't feel as baffled or upset.
_ Act out of sound logic when things get rough. Even if you feel like screaming at someone, hold your fire. You can always show anger later. Once you've screamed at a friend or relative, this is tough to take back.
"I've learned to devise a plan of action for everything," says a teacher we'll call Mrs. Jackson. She often helps the principal in her school deal with unruly students. "When I sit down and come up with a cool-headed plan of action, this helps me talk more calmly with the students."
She told us, "Kids are often stressed by problems before they get to school. That's why I tell them we can work these problems out. I try to offer hope and help them maintain a sense of humor, regardless of how bad the issues are."
Students, employees and married couples who feel lots of emotions can send out a ripple effect. To be the sane voice in any situation, take control by voicing hope and a clear-headed approach to fixing what's wrong.
For example, tell someone: "I'm sure we can work this out, so let's look at our options here. We're not going to attack a person. Instead, let's go after the problem and fix it."
When we get extremely emotional, we are usually trying to "go after" a person. But as long as we're doing a character assassination on someone, we usually aren't making a dent in correcting the problem.
"I dealt with a student stealing another student's money last week," says Mrs. Jackson. "When I drilled down into the problem, I found out the student who stole five dollars had not eaten in two days. Her parents had left town on a trip and failed to leave her any money."
Mrs. Jackson said she had a long talk with the student over stealing. "When I demonstrated how she might have come to someone to ask for help, she was shocked. She told me she didn't know how to ask for help from other people. She really didn't know this was a viable option."
When you calmly act as the adult in the room, so to speak, you define good choices. This takes practice; but, the more you do it, the more adept you'll become at overcoming rocky emotions.
