It’s 2012. I’m with a group of school friends in someone’s bedroom and someone is passing around a laptop, which is blaring something disgusting (and probably illegal) on Pornhub. Several people in the room have not yet had sex, yet everyone has seen sex — just online.
The male gazey stereotypes — submissive stepdaughters and school girls — of the most visited porn site in the UK have already infiltrated the sexual politics of our orthodox Jewish high school. The witch-hunt whispers about girls who still have pubic hair or ‘weirdly’ shaped labia have begun.
You would think, then, that when I came across new data indicating that young men are increasingly in favour of stricter access to online pornography, that I would be relieved. But far from it.
While it’s possible that a generation of young men are turning away from porn for ethical reasons, I think something more sinister is at play
Nearly two thirds (64 per cent) of young men believe that it should be harder to access online pornography, up 11% from 2013, according to The Survey Center on American Life. Indeed, 18 to 24-year olds were more likely to support restricting access to online pornography than men in every age category between 25 and 54 years old.
While it’s possible that a generation of young men are turning away from porn for ethical reasons, I have a feeling that something more sinister is at play.
Before I get into my concerns, I should stress: there are countless reasons why young people watching pornography can be harmful.
The average UK 13-year-old child has seen pornography but won’t lose their virginity until they are at least 17.
Even if popular porn sites weren’t riddled with pirated videos, child abuse, deepfakes, revenge porn, non-consensual sex acts – the fact that a bulk of teenagers will likely watch porn before they have sex is concerning.
Most porn directors are men — and while a handful of talented female directors are championing sexual diversity and realistic depictions of female pleasure — teenagers are left with a narrow script for what sex should look like. Why then, does the prospect of young men turning away from porn make me nervous?
Since the noughties, a growing online movement of men have been advocating for NoFap — giving up pornography and masturbation in the pursuit of self-approvement and super power strength.
In 2011, a college student named Alexander Rhodes launched the NoFap Reddit forum, where wild (and non-medically proven claims) proliferated.
Semen retention can boost testosterone, self-professed non-fappers proclaimed
Semen retention can boost testosterone, self-professed non-fappers proclaimed. It can increase productivity, mental clarity — even improve attractiveness. “Fapstronauts,” as some members like to call themselves, believe that porn is for “cucks” and “beta males;” that men who conquer their sexual desires are “warriors,” marching towards wealth and power and influence.
From the beginning, NoFap has been bound up with far right ideology. “I implore you to stop watching porn,” says Swedish white nationalist YouTuber Marcus Follin, who brands himself as ‘The Golden One.’
He urges men to imagine their ancestors “watching down and looking with disgust if you are fapping to porn,” to look them in the eye and say: “Yes, I am making the most out of the wealth you have created, I’m making the most out of the life you have given me.”
While Follin is still relatively fringe in the UK, influencers such as Andrew Tate have pushed these eugenic-tinged sexual ideals into the mainstream. “If you were the kind of man you could be — and I genuinely believe that any man can become anything,” he told Tucker Carlson in an interview, “then you’d have unlimited sexual options and you would have no interest in [porn].”
“Sex is for making children,” Tate writes on X
According to Tate’s ideology, sexual pleasure is emasculating. “Sex is for making children,” he writes on X. “Any man who has sex with women because it ‘feels good’ is gay.”
I do not think that the majority of young men who are going off porn are doing so because of Andrew Tate, nor are they motivated by misogyny or a masterplan for excessive procreation.
But I do think that young mens’ attitudes towards sex may be becoming more conservative. Gen Zers are famously engaging in less hedonistic activities than previous generations – drinking less alcohol, having less sex, masturbating less – and some young men are fantasising about a return to more traditional gender roles.
According to 2025 research conducted by Ipsos UK and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership, Gen Z men are significantly more likely than other age groups to think we’ve gone too far in promoting women’s equality (about 6 in 10 think this is the case), while less than a third of Gen Z men identified as a feminist.
Meanwhile, in the UK, vastly more 16-24 year old boys had heard of Andrew Tate than they had the then prime minister Rishi Sunak. And among those who had heard of Tate — who is under investigation for rape and human trafficking (charges he denies) – one in five boys aged 16 to 29 said they viewed him favourably.
I want to be optimistic that young men are turning away from porn because sex education has improved, because they take ethical issues with the adult entertainment industry and a bulk of the free porn that exists on the internet.
And yet: while I like the idea that young people are exploring their own and each other’s bodies outside of the male-gazey prism of porn — I don’t think we should confuse the latest data with genuine progress.
With the popularity of manosphere influencers like Andrew Tate on the rise, I worry that some men who are turning away from pornography are turning towards something darker.
Arielle Domb is a freelance journalist
