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Belfast Live
Belfast Live
National
Orlaith Clinton

'Open your eyes': Belfast mum's message to Stormont after losing son to suicide

The mother of a popular young man who died three years ago has urged politicians to "open their eyes" to the mental health crisis in Belfast.

Robbie Mateer's sudden death sent shock waves through the West Belfast community - he was a happy-go-lucky lad, who loved football, music and his friends and family.

Almost three years on from the 19-year-old's death, Robert's mum Colette, is urging "more to be done" by elected representatives to help those struggling with mental health and the loss of a loved one through suicide.

Read more: Belfast hub delivers 1,000 hours of free mental health support in first months

Speaking to Belfast Live, Colette spoke with pride about her son as she sat in West Wellbeing, a mental health charity in the Colin area.

"Robert was a smiley, bubbly lad. He likes to joke around and have fun and he loved his football more than anything," she said.

"I would have brought him and his mates to whatever matches they wanted to go to. Watching him playing football, it was great.

"Seeing Robert growing up, I loved every minute of it. Getting to know his friends, watching him go out to work, doing the things he wanted to do. I loved to watch that. For him not to be here, it is unreal.

"To me, I never thought he had any problems that would cause him to take his own life. I was worried once, and was keeping an eye on him, after his friend Decky Cavanagh passed away.

"Every time Robert would have put on Facebook asking if his friends were OK, that is when I would have checked on him. He always said he was great and fine.

"He was on a night out, had one or two pints and his sister brought him home. Robert told her he was good, that he was ok. I heard him coming in that night, going up the stairs, coming down again and getting something to eat. I heard him going back to bed and I thought that was him.

"The next morning, that is when we all got the shock. The first I thought it was the cat when I heard the screams. I never thought it would be my own son.

"Word got out about Robert and his friends came up to my house. Me and my father made sure there were ok and had something to eat and drink. I even threatened them that they weren't getting back up unless they had something to eat. Some of them couldn't sleep. There were a few that I knew they needed help.

"Robert's friends had put out a post on social media asking why nobody was at his wake to help out. They give off that there were no community groups there to help. There were two women at the bottom of the street helping out.

"When that post went out I had all the community groups coming to my door. Yes I had just lost my son, but I gave off to them because there were other kids there that needed help. They needed someone to talk to. Nobody was there for them.

"Robert passed away on the Monday and they never came up until the Thursday. From when I buried my son, I have had parents coming to me saying they are bringing their children down to other mental health groups and they are being told to come back in six months.

"No parent should ever hear that."

Colette says she believes funding could be better allocated across different mental health initiatives in Belfast, and says there are approaches that work better than others.

She urged those elected to represent families like hers, to "open their eyes" and "do their job".

"I had been on with a local MLA to try and set up things like midnight soccer - a place for young people to go. All these young people want is a place to study, to talk, to get their heads showered.

"If they put the money in the right place then we would see a difference. Where I am today in the West Belfast Wellbeing Centre, they have helped my family, friends of Robert's and myself.

"This project is working for kids and families and they are getting no funding at all. This was set up by the community, funded by the community. How is that right?

"West Wellbeing are doing all they can to stop suicides, to help people in need. Other projects are not doing anything for the community.

"I come here for counselling. Desy noticed I had posted a few things on my Facebook and he texted me and told me to come down to see them. When Robert died, I was told that I would get counselling right away, that didn't happen.

"They're doing great things for me and I would love to come down and do more work with them, but I haven't got the right head space right now.

"To elected representatives, what I would say is, open your eyes and see what is out there in the community. They should be on the ground and seeing who is doing the work.

"Statistics are ok, but it is the real work being done which matters. Funding is being given out but parents are still seeking for help for their children and they can't get it. Why is that?

"There is something wrong, definitely something wrong."

If you or someone you know is in distress or despair, call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. You will receive immediate support on the phone and follow up support if necessary. The helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Video by Harry Bateman.

Read more: I hit rock bottom: Belfast funeral director's mental health journey

Read more: NI man opens up about mental health breakdown after Covid-19

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