People often counsel against dating a co-worker. But in a world where much of our lives occur behind phones and computers, where else are you supposed to meet people?
Of course, just because it’s common to date a co-worker doesn’t mean it always goes smoothly.
Earlier this week, a woman shared a particularly cringeworthy story about what happened when she broke the don’t-date-colleagues rule. The man asked for a refund. Literally.
In a TikTok, Sofia (@sofiaaaa_bz) shares that she went on a date with a man she worked with at Apple. She doesn’t say why exactly it didn’t work out, but says she rejected him.
He didn’t take it so well, apparently. She says he “told me to pay him back $25 for our date.”
Many people may have refused such a tacky request. In comments, Sofia explains that she was 22 at the time and had low self-esteem. So she paid him. But not without exacting a little revenge.
“I brought it to his desk in front of everyone,” she says.
In the caption, she adds, “One thing about me is I will embarrass you back.”
Who should pay for a date?
Dating is a relatively modern courting ritual. Arranged marriages still exist but are increasingly rare. Today, people are also less likely to hold off on getting physical until someone puts a ring on it.
These cultural changes, coupled with greater economic security and increased life spans, have paved the way for dating culture.
There are still holdovers from the more rigid gender roles of the past infused into dating culture. One of the most prevalent is that in heteronormative relationships, the man typically pays for the first date. (Or in this case, the man-child.)
Some view this as an antiquated tradition. But most people expect the man to pay on a first date.
A few, apparently including Sofia’s date, believe that there should be some type of reward for paying for the first date. Perhaps a second date, perhaps a makeout session, perhaps more.
But that’s really not how it works. Just because someone pays doesn’t mean you owe them anything. A first date is like a job interview. Maybe you get the role of boyfriend; maybe you get sent to the friend zone permanently. Maybe they never want to see you again.
One thing people who commented on Sofia’s post agree on is that no matter what, do not ask your date to pay you back because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted.
A user going by the name @bookfetish wrote, “Going on a date does not guarantee it’s gonna lead somewhere. Its entire purpose is to see if you WANT it to lead somewhere. She didn’t want to see him again and that’s fine. If he treats his dates like a business transaction that’s all they’ll ever be.”
“At least you found out out front he’s a loser… Who in the world does that?” another wrote.
Sofia replied, “True, your jaw would drop if you heard how he lectured me.”
Revenge via public humiliation
People largely agree that paying her date back that $25 in front of their co-workers was a “boss move,” as one described it.
He probably embarrassed her with the lecture and the $25 demand. So Sofia got him back in front of everyone.
When one wondered why it would embarrass the man, given that he got his money back, Sofia explained, “Because it exposed how bitter & cheap he is.”
In the comments, Sofia writes that she “made sure” their co-workers saw the date money.
Another jokingly said they hoped she paid in all one-dollar bills.
“I didn’t but damn I should’ve,” Sofia replied.
Some men seem to have experienced secondhand outrage on her date’s behalf. They came for Sofia in the comments with accusations and insults.
She didn’t seem bothered. In response to one who saltily said, “Don’t ask for equality if you can’t pay for half of your dates,” she retorted, “I’m embarrassed for your soul.”
Sofia didn’t reply to a direct message sent via TikTok.
@sofiaaaa_bz One thing about me is I will embarrass you back. #fyp #foryou #dating #storytime #toxicmen ♬ dźwięk oryginalny – ︎︎︎︎Stella
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]
