Do you ever apologise to your kid? Has the very thought of apologising to a toddler ever crossed your mind?
No.
We never think of apologising to a kid, because of the manner we see our relationship with the child. From generations, the child and parent relationship has always been seen as that of a giver and seeker, teacher and learner, elder and younger, small and big and the list goes on.
Cut down social conditioning
It's time to make certain changes in the social rules which have been in use since generations.
Our previous generation had a different way of parenting which was devoid of so many things that we have today.
Today’s parenting has to deal with the internet, easy communication methods, a different outlook on friendship and a very distinct understanding of relationships.
The parenting in our generation does not have any position for the boundaries between parent and child. With so many avenues available for a person to indulge into, it is important to break the parental children boundary and include them into your life.
These days, parent child relationships are two-way pathways and are more about inclusivity, acceptance and accountability.
The osmosis of mannerism
Your child is always your reflection. Be it social presence or mannerism, a child's blank mind will always grasp things from the parents and elders.
This is why it is always warned that kids should never be exposed to abusive relationships and this why many parents are opting to move out of a troubled marriage before it starts impacting the child.
A child's mind absorbs mannerism from parents. Doesn't matter how much you teach them, a child will only follow it when he or she sees you doing it. Imitation is a very innate way through which child learn mannerism.
Here's a mother's encounter with the importance of apology in parent-child relationship:
"I made a big parenting mistake the other day," she begins her narration in a video posted on Instagram and goes on, "My daughter fell in love with this sparkly dress at the Sam's club. I thought it was silly and didn't want to spend 15 dollars on it so I told her daddy probably would not like it. When we got to the register, I could see much she truly loved it and told her we could get it. You know what she said to me?"
"No, I don't want it, Daddy won't like it. So we left without it and I realised I had made a huge mistake. I had just taught my 3 year old to seek the approval of others and to value that over her own thoughts. Later that afternoon, with tears in my eyes, I apologised for what I said. And told her that what really mattered was that she loved it and that it made her happy. We are going to mess up a lot as parents. After all, we are learning everyday just as they are. Don't forget to apologize when you do," she says in the video.
This video posted on March 23, has received positive responses from Instagram users.
While many could actually connect to the narrator’s intention behind putting the video online and the need of apologizing, many others could fathom the concept of giving kids a mental space of their own.
Interestingly, many users called out the narrator for using her husband, without his knowledge or opinion, while denying the dress to the daughter initially.
"I'm curious what you said when you apologized to her for what you said. I love this portion shared of it. However, saying that her Dad wouldn't like the dress. That just seems so unfair to him. Like he deserves an apology too. Because saying something like that - using him as the "scapegoat" - I'd be worried it could have negatively effected their (father/daughter) relationship or really wounded him and created a resentment towards you (no idea if y'all are together or not). That's rough. Kudos on the apology to the babe though, truly," wrote one user.
