If you Google “What does Nick Cannon actually do?”, 17 professions, ranging from rapper to businessperson, pop up. Which is just a few more gigs than the entertainer has kids: these days Cannon is most identifiable as the father of 12 children by six women. “I really think I’m a king,” Cannon, who has said he has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, mused in June during an appearance on the influencer Bobbi Althoff’s podcast. Kings, he explained, need a lot of children for their courts. In the same podcast, King Cannon struggled to recall the names of all 12 of his children. But that’s what the court nannies are for, eh?
Cannon clearly enjoyed his chat with Althoff because he recently announced that he is starting his own podcast. It will be called Nick Cannon @ Night and he’s going to be giving relationship advice. “When it comes to his personal life, Nick has never shied away, unapologetically leaving the world curious about his views on dating, fatherhood and modern relationships. So, who better to offer advice?” the press release states. Clearly this is rage-bait designed to get people screaming: “Who better? Anyone who knows how a condom works would be better!” And you know what? It’s worked. Everyone is now roasting Cannon online and giving the podcast free publicity.
In general, I’m of the view that there are far too many podcasts already; certainly, it seems as if the world’s most insufferable people all have at least one. But I like the idea of giving celebrities a platform to talk about things they are wildly unqualified to discuss. I would absolutely tune in to hear Lauren Sánchez, owner of a $170,000 handbag and enjoyer of a $50m wedding with husband Jeff Bezos, dole out budgeting advice. Or a Gordon Ramsay and Naomi Campbell collaboration where they recommend anger management tips. And who wouldn’t listen to How to Receive Criticism Gracefully, a podcast from Donald Trump?
• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
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