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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Daniel Harris (earlier) and Tim de Lisle (later)

New Zealand v England: first Test, day two – as it happened

Tom Blundell on his way to a Test-best 138.
Tom Blundell on his way to a Test-best 138. Photograph: Phil Walter/Getty Images

Match report

Here’s Ali Martin’s day two report:

And the man of the day, Tom Blundell: “England still bowled well, their ability to soak up dots and hit a good area was pretty good. The style they play, they’ll come quite hard at us. We managed to get a couple [of wickets] tonight which was great. Now it’s all about coming out tomorrow and picking up a few more, and putting them under pressure. We’re pretty happy. We’ve just got to continue to put on solid performances. Hopefully there’s more to come.”

Some thoughts on the day’s play from Ollie Robinson:

“We got in a great position, but Tom (Blundell) obviously batted really well. It was tough, the ball got really soft and it just didn’t do anything. We tried everything really, spin, bouncers, we tried cutters at one stage, but credit to them, they played well. There just wasn’t that pace in the wicket to get the edge off the bat. I think for us now, it’s to pile the runs on, bat for as long as possible. If we score well tomorrow, maybe go under the lights tomorrow night, but if we can get a lead of 300, we’re right in the game.”

Stumps! The end of Blundell's day

16th over: England 79-2 (Pope 14, Broad 6) Broad, who dished up some elderly bodyline earlier, gets it back with interest from Scott Kuggeleijn. A short leg goes in and a fend round the corner nearly finds him, but Broad survives and England close with a lead of 98. NZ started this innings badly and then fought back, just like the one before. The day belongs to Tom Blundell, who hit a memorable hundred – and made a game of it, rescuing his team from the doldrums of 83 for five.

Two more takes on the cyclone debate. “I’m a Kiwi living in the UK,” says Nigel Derby, “and following the cricket on TV (at the pub) and Guardian Live Feed at home. I don’t think I’ve heard the phrase ‘quintessential Englishness’ used in that way that Ms Aspden has before. I’m really glad you’re there and the Bay Oval is looking pretty nice, just after the hurricane.”

“Another defence of the OBOers from Istanbul,” adds Rob Lewis. “We have had two terrible nightmare weeks of it here, hearing of friends, colleagues and in my case students who have been affected by the earthquake. But at the same time, we have had the need to take a break from the fundraising and the social media trawl, the messages of consolation and the general disruption to our lives. People have been outside in the sunny weather for walks in the park, or going for a coffee or to watch a movie. You need a break from misery and tragedy, and that’s what we’re all doing reading the OBO. Thanks for your much needed updates.”

It’s been a pleasure, as always. Thanks to Suzanne Aspden for starting a thought-provoking thread, and to everyone else who weighed in. Ali Martin’s match report will be along soon. I’ll see you again tomorrow at 4.20am sharp (GMT). Before that, do join Taha Hashim at 1am for the next instalment in an intriguing Test match.

Updated

15th over: England 78-2 (Pope 14, Broad 6) Southee’s over eventually resumes and Broad shows that he’s very much himself by slashing over cover for four.

Suzanne Aspden, who started our debate about the cyclone, is back for more. “Greg Cooper suggests I’m ‘making generalised statements with no way of proving it’ regarding NZers’ generosity,” she notes. “There is plenty of evidence -- but you don’t usually cite sources in comment pieces. He might have a look at a few NZ Herald articles about people pitching in to help with the clean up, even when their own homes have been destroyed:
Cyclone Gabrielle: Volunteer army set up amid heartbreak in Esk Valley disaster zone - NZ Herald

“And on Turkey and Syria:
Turkey earthquake: NZ commits $1.5m in humanitarian support as death toll climbs - NZ Herald.”

There’s a hold-up as the Hawk has been hit on the lid. He seems to be OK but they’re doing the checks. “Mr Broad, who’s the prime minister?”

“God knows, we get a new one every six months.”

Updated

14th over: England 69-2 (Pope 14, Broad 1) So the Nighthawk is with us. Enter Stuart Broad, not planning to die wondering. He goes for a slog, gets a huge top edge – and the bowler and keeper leave it to each other! You couldn’t make it up.

Meanwhile the great debate rumbles on. “Your grumpy correspondent has maybe missed the fact that NZ’s biggest news outlet, Stuff, is currently running two live sports blogs,” says Tony Vale. “One on the Football Ferns v Portugal and one, of course, on the cricket. I live in Wellington and am loving OBO… and I’ll be going to the Basin next week. Keep up the great work.”

Updated

WICKET! Crawley c Blundell b Kuggeleijn 28 (England 68-2)

Crawley’s strength, the pull, turns into a weakness as a short ball keeps low and brushes the toe of the bat. A wicket to Kuggeleijn, but some credit to Southee for paving the way.

13th over: England 67-1 (Crawley 28, Pope 13) Never mind Pope, Southee against anyone is a good contest. This over to Crawley is quietly majestic. He beats him on the outside edge, he beats him on the inside edge – and appeals for LBW, but Aleem Dar feels it’s doing too much and is probably right. Southee, self-effacing to a fault, doesn’t review.

12th over: England 67-1 (Crawley 28, Pope 13) Ollie Pope is in the mood. He moves across to off stump to whip Tickner for four, then plays a cover drive that can go straight into the next edition of the MCC Coaching Book, assuming they haven’t given up the ghost in the light of England’s new-found unorthodoxy. On the balcony Stuart Broad is padded up, itching to come in as the Nighthawk.

Updated

11th over: England 57-1 (Crawley 27, Pope 5) After Southee v Duckett, we have another good contest: Southee v Pope. When Southee hangs the ball out wide, Pope plays at thin air, prompting oohs and aah from the slips. But when Southee instantly tries it again, Pope is good enough to send a square drive skimming to the boundary. Southee hits back with the one that goes the other way, via a scrambled seam. Pope leaves it and is lucky not to hear the clink of ball on bail.

10th over: England 53-1 (Crawley 27, Pope 1) So that’s another feather in the cap for Tickner after his triumphant 3 not out. Ollie Pope comes in and shows England’s intent by going down the track to his second ball, though he plays a defensive shot when he gets there.

WICKET! Duckkett c Latham b Tickner 25 (England 52-1)

Duckett, who was flirting with the cordon against Southee, finally succumbs against Tickner. The ball is outside off, on a good length and holding its line. Ducket, rooted to the crease, can only nick it to second slip.

9th over: England 50-0 (Crawley 27, Duckett 23) A few singles, for a change – and a couple of minor run-out scares. These guys are not used to having to run. But up comes the fifty partnership, off only 52 balls.

“Wow,” says Pete Salmon. “You’ve made history this morning. For the first time in its 202-year history, the Guardian has been accused of not enough hand-wringing!”

8th over: England 47-0 (Crawley 26, Duckett 21) Tickner keeps Crawley quiet for four balls, then gets driven through mid-off and pulled to midwicket. Crawley has 26 off 26, and England’s lead, at 66, is back where it should have been in the first place.

Updated

7th over: England 38-0 (Crawley 18, Duckett 20) The contest continues between Duckett and Southee. Four to Duckett: a flashing cut. Moral victory to Southee: another play-and-miss. And another one – an edge, but it flies through third slip, which is vacant because with all these fours, Southee felt he needed a cover sweeper.

“I’m a Kiwi,” says Greg Cooper. “I live in Christchurch so wasn’t affected at all by the cyclone, but the images from the North Island, in particular Napier and Gisborne, are very distressing.

”Mount Maunganui was hit, but nothing like these other areas. The fact cricket is being played there right now proves this. You are there to talk about cricket, a very exciting game of cricket as well. That’s your job and you’re doing it well.

“Some people do like to get outraged on others’ behalf… People who make generalised statements like this with no way of proving it is a bit of a red flag for me: ’Thank goodness, NZers’ thoughts are focussed on how they can help those around them out – as well, of course, as sending significant help to Turkey and Syria.’

”I’m an NZer and I’m really feeling for what people are going through up North, but I’m loving the cricket as well and the Guardian’s commentary. Keep up the good work.”

6th over: England 29-0 (Crawley 18, Duckett 11) Southee removes Wagner, who is usually an old-ball bowler, and turns to Blair Tickner, who became a cult figure earlier by making 3 not out off 24 balls. He now concedes more than that in one ball, dropping short and inviting Crawley to play his signature shot, the rasping pull.

5th over: England 25-0 (Crawley 14, Duckett 11) Duckett cuts Southee for four, then gets beaten by an outswinger. Good contest, this.

“Suzanne Aspden is too harsh on the OBO, I’d say,” argues Steve Hudson. “We aren’t tourists, but cricket fans as you point out, following the game from the UK. [And many other countries, you might add.] Most of us I’m sure can both take a keen interest in the game, and feel for the victims of the cyclone and other natural and unnatural disasters around the world.

“Still, it makes a change. The Graun and its readers are often accused of spending too much energy on feeling bad about being so lucky as to live in the UK and now we are accused of not worrying enough.”

4th over: England 21-0 (Crawley 14, Duckett 7) Facing Wagner for the first time, Crawley finds his mojo. A slash-drive, a cut, another cut, all for four: he’s up and barely needing to run.

3rd over: England 8-0 (Crawley 1, Duckett 7) Southee, who dismissed Crawley in the first innings, fancies his chances here. He beats him outside off, then does it again. Crawley, like Graeme Hick 30 years ago, is a gentle giant with one flaw: he struggles against the Test seamer’s stock ball.

“Morning UK-ers, evening NZ-ers,” says Em Jackson. “I try not to use sporting cliches but when I do I give one-hundred-and-ten-per-cent. Close game, despite the threat to NZ from Bazball & that’s a great advert for Bazball not ‘killing’ cricket & it goes to show you can’t tell how a match will go until both sides have batted their first innings.

”And for every point there’s a counter-point, as the song goes. It’s all well complaining about ‘the English media’ but it could be argued, the game is going ahead despite the aforementioned cyclone, so if it’s so bad, blame the NZCB for playing the game in the first place?”

2nd over: England 8-0 (Crawley 1, Duckett 7) Neil Wagner again shares the new ball, bowls full and finds that swing. Duckett is watchful, then suddenly aggressive as he hits an off-drive for four – on the up, with fast hands.

1st over: England 4-0 (Crawley 1, Duckett 3) Tim Southee has the new pink ball, which should be swinging in the twilight. Zak Crawley gets the innings going with a tuck off the pads for a single before Ben Duckett hits a cover drive for three, uppish but safe.

Updated

The players are out there and the sky has gone a striking shade of grey with a hint of mauve.

An interesting email has landed. “Congratulations on your quintessential Englishness,” Suzanne Aspden begins. Why does that not feel like a compliment? “That is, congratulations for running a cricket commentary page on a match being played in a country (and a region) which, just before the match started, was absolutely devastated by a cyclone, the death toll from which is still unknown, and the devastation from which is also still not fully quantified, without bothering to mention that devastation in your commentary. Indeed, you instead have shared cloth-eared comments on how ‘chilled out’, green, and unlikely to dry out the Bay Oval is...

“As I say, truly English to ignore everything other than the cricket, and to treat NZ (or any other foreign country) as if it’s a (cricketing) tourist destination set up for your enjoyment only.

“Thank goodness, NZers’ thoughts are focussed on how they can help those around them out -- as well, of course, as sending significant help to Turkey and Syria.

“Enjoy your quavers and maltesers.”

Ouch! Fair enough to have a go at us – we dish it out, from time to time, and we’ve got to take it. But it does seem harsh, and presumptuous, to blame our shortcomings on England.

Putting the blinkers on is an occupational hazard for sportswriters all over the world. We’re not remotely seeing NZ as a tourist destination – if only we were. We’re sitting at home, in the middle of the night, trying to keep our bleary eyes open. But Suzanne may well be right to suggest that they haven’t been open enough.

Updated

WICKET! Blundell c&b Anderson 138 (NZ 306 all out)

Blundell, facing Anderson, plays a leg glance, probably misses it but is awarded four. Then he plays one top edge too many, sending the pink ball up into the gloaming and down into the hands of Anderson. That’s the end of a fabulous rearguard from New Zealand, who trail by only 19. Blundell came in at 83 for five, showed some fight, had some fun, built three solid partnerships and made sure the lower order added about three times as many as the specialist batters.

The deficit is just 19 and the timing is good too, giving New Zealand’s seamers the chance to do what England’s did last night.

England miss a trick

82nd over: New Zealand 302-9 (Blundell 134, Tickner 3) On comes Broad, even though Robinson is surely the better bet for a wicket. After sticking around for ten overs, Tickner feels the urge to play an attacking shot. It’s a crisp clip off the toes that brings two and triples his Test-career tally. England go up for a caught behind, Stokes opts not to risk his last review – and UltraEdge shows that there was a nick!

Fifty partnership for the last wicket!

81st over: New Zealand 300-9 (Blundell 134, Tickner 1) It’s Jimmy Anderson … and he has Blundell missed! By the man at mid-on, who happens to be Stuart Broad. No blame attached – it was a difficult chance anyway, looping up and then dropping in front of him, and the low sunlight made it harder still. Blundell celebrates with a cow-shot that goes for four off the top edge and brings up both the 300 and the fifty partnership. It has come off 60 balls – 19 of them faced by Tickner – and been a lot of fun.

Updated

80th over: New Zealand 296-9 (Blundell 130, Tickner 1) With Stokes bowling, Blundell won’t be needing the ramp in this over. He pulls one short ball handsomely, another less so, but both go for four and Blundell moves to a Test career-best, beating his 121 against Australia. The deficit is down to just 29. And NZ, since they were tottering at 83 for five, have added a breezy 213 for four. Time for the new ball.

Updated

79th over: New Zealand 287-9 (Blundell 121, Tickner 1) Facing Robinson again, Blundell has a clear policy: pull the short ball, ramp the full one. His latest ramp brings two, not four, as Leach does well with a slide into the Toblerone at fine leg. Tickner has only one ball to face and he meets it with a staunch prod. The shadows are long now, making it hard for the fielders to see the pink ball.

Updated

A run to Tickner!

78th over: New Zealand 284-9 (Blundell 118, Tickner 1) Stokes, seeing the need to do something, removes Leach (18-3-84-1) and brings himself on. Tickner has shown some ticker already and he’s about to have to show even more. He fends off the inevitable bouncer to collect his first Test run. Blundell pulls for four, then gets another of those thick edges – dropped by Foakes, a hard chance that he can only tip over the bar.

77th over: New Zealand 278-9 (Blundell 113, Tickner 0) With the field spread far and wide, Robinson keeps Blundell quiet – until the last ball, when the ring has reassembled and a top edge can sail over slip for four. The deficit is down to 47.

Updated

76th over: New Zealand 274-9 (Blundell 109, Tickner 0) Tickner is on strike now, and you’d think Stokes might summon Anderson. But he sticks with Leach, who hasn’t bowled to Tickner before. The first ball yields a cover push and a dash for a single, only for Tickner to find Blundell rebuffing him. The throw is just wayward enough to allow Tickner to scramble back, and set about surviving the other five balls – which he does, to the crowd’s delight.

Updated

75th over: New Zealand 274-9 (Blundell 109, Tickner 0) Blundell, who nicked the strike off Leach’s last ball, can have some fun now. He walks over to the offside and ramps Robinson for four, then darts down the track and hits a forehand down the line that threatens to take Robinson’s head off. NZ trail by a mere 51.

Hundred to Blundell!

74th over: New Zealand 266-9 (Blundell 101, Tickner 0) Blundell gets some luck, edging Leach over slip’s shoulder for two, but then he picks just the right shot, paddling for two more, to reach a fine hundred off 143 balls. It’s the first of the match, and the first by a wicketkeeper in a day/night Test.

73rd over: New Zealand 261-9 (Blundell 96, Tickner 0) Tickner has a moustache and a sense of humour. When he gets block on ball, the crowd cheers. When Robinson’s sixth delivery comes along and he keeps out a perfect yorker, he gets the sort of cheer that awaits Blundell if he makes it to a hundred.

72nd over: New Zealand 261-9 (Blundell 96, Tickner 0) Blundell has made up his mind: do or die! Facing Leach, he swings a six to cow corner, then goes inside-out to chip four over extra-cover, then gets a juicy long hop and is annoyed with himself for only clubbing four more. Fourteen off the over! And the deficit is down to 64. But now Tickner has the strike …

71st over: New Zealand 247-9 (Blundell 82, Tickner 0) So Robinson has a four-for and a wry smile that says he knows that was a stroke of luck. And Blundell has to decide whether to rush to his hundred – Blair Tickner, apparently, is a genuine No 11.

Updated

WICKET! Southee c Duckett b Robinson 10 (NZ 247-9)

Jammy! Robinson, trying for a yorker, dishes up a full toss, which Southee clips, off the middle, straight into the outstretched hands of Ben Duckett, leaping into the air at long leg. Southee couldn’t have done that if he’d tried.

70th over: New Zealand 241-8 (Blundell 81, Southee 5) With 40 minutes to go till the new ball, Stokes turns back to Leach, who, in the first half of a Test, tends to be one of the weaker links. He’s been neither one thing nor the other today – not very threatening, not very economical. In this over he goes for three singles, one of them a classy late cut by Tim Southee.

Updated

The players are back on the field, and another email is in the inbox. “Morning Tim,” says Pete Dudley. “Like Kim just now, have just awoken from a dream, this one sort of not quite so pleasant with my dear departed and very lovely mum in London when she is involved in an accident! But she’s her usual ‘don’t worry about me, I’m alright, not hurt at all’. Dear old mum! Good to see her again.” Ahh.

”Anyway, Ben [Stokes] can do no wrong in my eyes, a big fan of so called bazball which is much more than go-as-fast-as-you-can and Ben’s captaincy skills are superb! Sounds like a cracking match and that wicket just before, um, dinner was perfect timing (can never get used to that as a break name, it’s just not cricket to have ‘dinner’). Blundell batting really well as usual it seems, keeping it a very competitive game. Keep up the great updates!” Thanks. And congratulations to you and Kim on pulling off a very difficult trick: making your dreams come alive for other people.

DINNER! England in charge again

69th over: New Zealand 238-8 (Blundell 80, Southee 3) And that’s it for the session, so the breakthrough is especially well timed, giving England a fillip as they sit down for their high tea. They are back on top, though Tom Blundell’s calm defiance has made sure that the deficit will be about half what it might have been. Ollie Robinson’s Test average is now under 20 – 15 Tests, 63 wickets, ave 19.58. And some day soon he could be bowling with Jofra Archer… Time for some toast and marmalade.

WICKET! Kuggeleijn b Robinson 20 (NZ 235-8)

Got him! Kuggeleijn finally looks like a tailender as Robinson’s nip-backer arrows into middle stump.

68th over: New Zealand 235-7 (Blundell 80, Kuggeleijn 20) And again Anderson restores order, conceding just a leg-bye and a single to Kuggeleijn, who has gone rather quiet after that explosive start.

One brings two! Emails, that is. “Morning Tim,” says Kim Thonger. “Just woke up after a marvellous dream about finding my rucksack in a Swiss railway lost property office after intervention from a tealady from the station cafe who was dressed like Catwoman, and spoke English with a Somerset accent and now I have just read the OBO to catch up and am experiencing similar deep joy and I have a confession to make, after serious initial scepticism arising from 55 years of watching ‘normal’ Test cricket I may be a belated convert to the madness that is Bazball. “ Ha. Ben Stokes really has changed the world. “PS the link has your email address wrong.” Ah damn, sorry – should be fixed now.

67th over: New Zealand 233-7 (Blundell 80, Kuggeleijn 19) Robinson is back on the field and back into the attack as Broad takes a breather (16-2-70-1). Blundell drives for two to bring up the fifty partnership off 65 balls. It’s been a very good one – first playful, then watchful.

There’s a hold-up while the ball is changed. This allows me to report an astonishing development: we have received an email. “Thought you might appreciate some company in the wee small hours,” says Brian Withington. Ah thanks. “And I certainly need a break from contemplating my own mortality whilst drafting a complicated expression of wishes letter to pension trustees (first world problems, eh?).

”Talking of (im)mortality, how splendid to see Jimmy Anderson taking another new year in his metronomic stride – may he defer his pension indefinitely (never mind passing it on).” We need to know more about Jimmy’s pension. Must be the biggest fund in sporting history.

66th over: New Zealand 230-7 (Blundell 77, Kuggeleijn 19) Ollie Robinson is trotting off the field, so maybe he has a niggle that explains why both the old gents are bowling. Or perhaps he’s just gone to remonstrate with his folks for wearing those shirts. Anyway Anderson continues and this time he does gets Aleem Dar to raise the finger, for caught behind against Blundell – only to find the review showing that the ball just brushed the trouser. Blundell celebrates again, with a measured clip for two.

Updated

65th over: New Zealand 227-7 (Blundell 74, Kuggeleijn 19) It’s STILL Broad, as Stokes silently wonders why on earth he didn’t pick Olly Stone. The sun is out, the ground is a picture postcard, it’s a moment for a young person to be bowling. But this is a better over from the old warhorse, not so short and going for just a couple of singles.

Updated

64th over: New Zealand 225-7 (Blundell 73, Kuggeleijn 18) Anderson raps Blundell on the pad, for the second time in a row, and although Aleem Dar shakes his head firmly Stokes decides to review. The shape is good, angling in, but the ball is surely going down… Yes, not even umpire’s call, so England are down to their last review. Blundell celebrates in characteristic fashion, with a controlled guide for four, and that brings the deficit down to 100.

63rd over: New Zealand 221-7 (Blundell 69, Kuggeleijn 18) Broad continues, though it’s not clear why. Blundell says thank you very much and helps himself to a late cut for four. The partnership is already 39 off only seven and a half overs: I don’t know what England had for drinks, but it seems to have included a dose of their own medicine.

62nd over: New Zealand 216-7 (Blundell 64, Kuggeleijn 18) And of course Anderson restores order.

61st over: New Zealand 215-7 (Blundell 63, Kuggeleijn 18) It’s still Broad, it’s still the short stuff, and it’s still these two having no trouble swatting the pink ball away, though this time they have to settle for ones and twos. Time for something more sophisticated: heeeere’s Jimmy.

60th over: New Zealand 209-7 (Blundell 58, Kuggeleijn 17) Jack Leach, bowling to Blundell, reels off four dots. Then a gentle push off the back foot into the covers ends up going for four as Duckett’s throw eludes Foakes and brings overthrows. And then Blundell thinks “what the hell, may as well join the party,” and he dances down the track and thumps another four. Suddenly NZ can see themselves getting the deficit down to something manageable.

Here’s to them

59th over: New Zealand 201-7 (Blundell 50, Kuggeleijn 17) After showing us his front-foot striking in the last over, Kuggeleijn now gets a chance off the back foot, as Broad is banging it in, Stokes-style. The upshot is a pull for two, then a pull for four. His Test-career tally of 17 has come off only 15 balls. Is he an Englishman in disguise?

Fifty to Blundell!

There hasn’t been much for the home fans to celebrate but here’s a nice warm round of applause for Tom Blundell, who shoves Broad round the corner for a single to reach a defiant fifty. He’s such a well-organised player.

58th over: New Zealand 194-7 (Blundell 49, Kuggeleijn 11) Thanks Daniel and hello everyone. It’s four in the morning in London, but suddenly it’s party time in Mount Maunganui. Scott Kuggeleijn’s second scoring shot in Test cricket is a six! He swings Leach easily over midwicket, and the only person who’s going to catch that is the gentleman in the blue singlet on the bank. Kuggeleijn follows up with a straight belt for four. Game on!

Updated

57th over: New Zealand 184-7 (Blundell 49, Kuggeleijn 1) Broad replaces Stokes, and I’m beginning to wonder if he inspired his skipper’s barnet; we’ll know for sure if we see a headband added to it. Blundell shovels a single to backward square that someone, I don’t see who, fumbles so they run one, then Kuggeleleijn forces off hip and into ground for his d’boo run in Tests. He’ll be feeling much better about life now, but when he pulls again, along the ground, Pope, at square leg, ducks, which makes me wonder if there’s a sighting issue, because that’s not the first time something of that ilk’s happened. Anyway, Blundell, looking for his fifty, swishes at the final delivery of the over, misses, and with that, my watch is over. Thus, here’s Tim de Lisle to croon you through the remainder of the day; enjoy him and it’s goodnight from me.

56th over: New Zealand 182-7 (Blundell 48, Kuggeleijn 0) Here comes Leach to send down Kuggeleijn’s first ball in Test cricket, and it’s met with a rather awkward bump into the off side. He’s got a slip, a leg slip and silly mid off for company, but sees off three balls and that’s a wicket maiden!

WICKET! Bracewell c Stokes b Leach 7 (New Zealand 182-7)

What is he doing?! Bracewell wants to be positive, but then he’s got to commit to his shots, and here he checks a drive so that it loops directly to Stokes at mid on! He knows he’s not been seeing it, he knows there’s just been a break, so why not have a look at a few? New Zealand look like conceding a massive first-innings lead.

On we go again!

Aha, and it’s drinks too.

We have a little break while Bracewell changes helmet, as per the rules.

55th over: New Zealand 182-6 (Blundell 48, Bracewell 7) Stokes is still schlepping in, two quick singles off balls three and four keeping the scoreboard ticking; the first, to backward square, elicits a throw that’s not far away, but but Blundell was home. He then takes another single to backward square as we see tape of Stokes grimacing, then a spot of natural variation sees one keep far lower than Bracewell thought so he ducks into it, wearing a knuck off the helmet, right on the badge, and they snaffle a bye.

54th over: New Zealand 178-6 (Blundell 46, Bracewell 6) Blundell swings Leach over his had and down the ground for four; he doesn’t get all of it, but what he does get is enough. A single follows, and Blundell is a very fine player – but we knew that.

53rd over: New Zealand 173-6 (Blundell 41, Bracewell 6) Blundell collars a Stokes no ball, hauling it to the rope at deep backward square, then adding one to similar area. We see a pitch-map of this spell, and every delivery has been short; as I type that, one climbs more than expected and clumps Bracewell on the glove, but he’s fine. I doubt we see too many, if any more overs from the England captain – he’s got what he came for – but you really never know with this total hero-freak.

52nd over: New Zealand 167-6 (Blundell 36, Bracewell 6) Conway has left a load of runs out there; I daresay he’ll be left well alone for the next 20 minutes or so. England now has a new batter to go at but it’s Blundell on strike and he cuts three to third, then Bracewell skips down and drives uppishly, half a foot shy of Robinson’s dive and the ball races away for four. So Bracewell goes again, skewing two over the off-side infield, and that’s nine off the over.

WICKET! Conway c Pope b Stokes 77 (New Zealand 158-6)

HOW DOES HE KEEP DOING IT?! BENJAMIN ANDREW STOKES IS NOT A REAL PERSON! HE CANNOT BE! BUT HE IS! Another short one, Conway checks his pull, and does exactly what Stokes wants him to do, what he knows Stokes wants him to do, wafting to square leg! He walks off rehearsing an off-side paddle, but you can’t argue the force of nature. That is a colossal breakthrough.

51st over: New Zealand 158-5 (Conway 77, Blundell 33) Conway pulls a no-ball to square leg for one, then Blundell does likewise to deep backward where Crawley slides to stop; they amble one more. Two further single follows, Conway to square leg and Blundell to fine leg, and NZ won’t mind this at all, this being relatively easy and risk-free accumulation.

50th over: New Zealand 152-5 (Conway 75, Blundell 31) Blundell goes over the top as Leach persuades one to dip and hits across it slightly, but as Robinson chases – that’s good of him etc etc – it drops just beyond his reach and they run two. I don’t think it’ll be long before Anderson returns.

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49th over: New Zealand 150-5 (Conway 75, Blundell 29) Stokes continues with the short stuff that so often gets him a result, and when sits up, Conway will be irritated that in following it around the corner, he picks out the man on the fence and they only run one. Blundell then adds one more to backward square, Conway does likewise, Blundell goes again, and that’s four singles off the over; neither ball nor pitch are offering any assistance.

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48th over: New Zealand 146-5 (Conway 73, Blundell 27) Leach continues, and after three dots, a forward press following by a retreat deep into the crease, allows him to stroke through cover, elbow high, Ian Bell-style, for four. Those are the only round from the over, but NZ have picked up where they left off before tea.

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47th over: New Zealand 142-5 (Conway 73, Blundell 23) Yup, it’s Stokes, bleached hair bouncing and flowing in time with his stride; credit where it’s due, he’s had a tremendous job done on it, but he begins with a wide and a single to each batter gets the scoreboard going again. Stokes responds well though, banging in; Blundell fends off well, then when Pope comes in at short leg, the batter turns another one into the on side.

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Back come the teams, Ben Stokes stretching like he’s going to work. Gower told us his knee is heavily strapped, but he knows that the match is here: if England can get a couple of wickets in the next hour, there’s a very strong chance they win the match.

46th over: New Zealand 138-5 (Conway 72, Blundell 21) The way Leach is bowling and this being the final over before a break, I’d not be surprised to see another maiden, but as it turns out, Blundell is looking to keep things moving, driving into the off side on three occasions, earning one because he keeps picking out fielders. So thus endeth a session of two halves: England dominated the first, NZ fought back well in the second, and the pitch looks nice to bat on now, but one more wicket and things can change very quickly. See you in 15ish.

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45th over: New Zealand 137-5 (Conway 72, Blundell 20) It’ll be two more, Root rattling through a maiden before Foakes rushes through a quick change. England have some thinking to do in the interval.

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44th over: New Zealand 137-5 (Conway 72, Blundell 20) Blundell is such a composed and confident batter, able to play his natural game regardless of the match situation. And here, he prances down to clout four to long on, the only runs from the over, and we’ve got either one or two more before the interval.

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43rd over: New Zealand 133-5 (Conway 72, Blundell 16) Root, who has the confidence – and, if we’re being brutal, probably the ability – to take pace returns from the other end. But when he drops short, Conway skips backwards and carves four through backward point then flicks two to midwicket, raising the fifty partnership in the process.

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42nd over: New Zealand 127-5 (Conway 66, Blundell 16) Leach returns from Root’s end, and in his defence, the pitch is offering almost nothing, which reminds me that Graeme Swann’s real thing was the ability to take first-innings wickets. Leach, meanwhile, is sending down darts that mean he’s likely to miss any spin that there is, trying not to get clattered, but this over is a maiden.

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41st over: New Zealand 127-5 (Conway 66, Blundell 16) Nice from Conway, tucking three to midwicket; Anderson chases, dives and scoops off the fence, exactly as Robinson opted not to earlier, and they run three thereby averting the follow-on. A single follows, and with 12 minutes until the break, this is drifting.

“Love the OBO!” begins Keith Johnson in Irvington NY. Re the Root football manoeuvre … is it possible that they had the wrong stump mics for the review? Did anyone see a replay where there was ANY noise? Why not let the the replay keep going until we hear A noise, so, ya know, we know we have the correct sound we are examining? There wasn’t enough time for Nixon’s plumbers to ‘tweak’ things, all conspiracy theorists need not apply!”

It didn’t look like Root got a touch from any angle we saw, so I think we’re all good.

40th over: New Zealand 123-5 (Conway 63, Blundell 15) More Root, who sends down five dots, then Conway punches a single to mid off. Stokes won’t want to bowl, but it feels like it’s time and has for 20 minutes.

39th over: New Zealand 122-5 (Conway 62, Blundell 15) Four dots, then Blundell turns to midwicket for two, and he’s settled in nicely; now conditions are pleasant – it’s a lovely day in The Mount – I wonder if England are missing a quick.

38th over: New Zealand 120-5 (Conway 62, Blundell 13) …and we can’t get a decent angle because Conway’s follow-through is blocking the camera from behind the batter. Rod Tucker, veery chatty today, wants ultra-edge because the ball seems to go under Root’s boot, which is to say if it didn’t graze any of it, it was damn close. He concludes it didn’t nevertheless, then Conway skips down and hoists high over long off for six, so Root tosses up another, so slowly, looking to grip, but he finds nothing, then Conway drills two to cover.

38th over: New Zealand 112-5 (Conway 54, Blundell 7) Conway wallops Root’s second delivery straight back down the ground, breaking the stumps, and we have an umpire’s review to see whether Root got boot on ball. If he did it’s gone, but it looks like he didn’t…

37th over: New Zealand 112-5 (Conway 54, Blundell 13) Robinson returns at t’other end as we take a tour of the ground, some people lying on the grass, others sat at tables. There’s something about reclining while watching sport, but it also feels like constant search for illusory comfort, the ground being hard and all that; some kind of lilo feels in order. Maiden, the second in a row, and Andy Flower will be pleased.

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36th over: New Zealand 112-5 (Conway 54, Blundell 13) But instead it’s Root who, I feel bad saying, might well be a better bowler than Leach. And, shonuff, he beats Conway out of the rough, then a drive almost carries to extra, that was by far the most threatening over of spin so far today. Maiden.

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35th over: New Zealand 112-5 (Conway 54, Blundell 13) Leach is struggling here, Blundell cracking his first delivery for four through point, then helping himself to two more into the covers. That’s 0-19 off four, and it might be time for the strawberry-blonde arm of the skipper to get a go.

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34th over: New Zealand 106-5 (Conway 54, Blundell 7) Two slips and short leg for Conway, three and one for Blundell, and a leg side single to each.

“It’s exactly six months since I last emailed you, on the subject of abbreviated names,” says Brian Withington, “and that was a case of mistaken identity! (I think Daniel Gallan was on OBO duty at time.) Anyway, hope you have wintered well and are enjoying the latest instalment of this astonishing reinvention of Test cricket. Can it ever become the brave new normal or is it doomed to be remembered as a final hurrah for the format, raging with a grin against the dying of the light?”

It’s hard to know isn’t it? It’s hopefully popular enough in enough places to sustain, but the schedule over the next few years isn’t nourishing outside of England, India and Australia. And yes, I wintered very nicely thanks, two-and-a-bit weeks in Ghana which yielded the following after some extremely early mornings.

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33rd over: New Zealand 104-5 (Conway 53, Blundell 6) Conway takes one to backward square, the only run from the over, and I wonder what Stokes is thinking, because we’ve reached a crucial stage of the game and England’s best bowlers are grazing. I’m not sure he’ll allow too many more overs of drift – and, paradoxically, lack of it – from Leach.

32nd over: New Zealand 103-5 (Conway 52, Blundell 6) Conway looks comfy now, a drive into the covers yielding three, and that’s his 50; he’s a player. And Blundell isn’t bad either, turning two off the hip, and for the first time in this innings, the batters look in relative control.

31st over: New Zealand 98-5 (Conway 49, Blundell 4) Leach tosses one up, so Conway creams him through cover for what feels like the first off-side boundary of the morning. And another off-drive follows, not middled like the previous one so they’ve to make do with three, and NZ aren’t going to let England’s tweaker just tweak – if they do, from where are their runs coming? – Blundell pressing forward then springing back to cut four more. That’s a lovely shot, especially to get off the mark, and makes it 11 off the over.

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30th over: New Zealand 87-5 (Conway 42, Blundell 0) Conway shovels two to fine leg, then shortly afterwards England bring Pope in under the lid at short leg; immediately, Robinson comes around, Conway glances of fthe pads, not far from the new man at all, and they run one then see out another dot. That’s drinks, and England are bang in charge here.

29th over: New Zealand 84-5 (Conway 39, Blundell 0) While the going’s good, Stokes tosses Jack Leach the sphere. I’m sure New Zealand would like to get after him, but they just don’t have the rope and do, presumably, want England to start their second innings under lights, which will require another couple of hours’ batting. In the meantime, though, this is a decent start from the all-rounder, Conway pulling a single, the only run from the over.

28th over: New Zealand 83-5 (Conway 38, Blundell 0) But Blundell can bat, as England know, and he’s going to have to. If he can’t, though, what’s the correct Bazball call as regards the follow-on? My guess is to enforce, and as Ali notes in commentary, the relentless accuracy of England’s seamers is brutal to face.

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WICKET! Mitchell lbw b Robinson 0 (New Zealand 83-5)

That’s why he didn’t chase that four-ball! Robinson sends down a beauty, pitching outside off and jagging back a long way. Mitchell looks surprised by it, offering no shot and allowing the ball to crump his pad, and when he beseeches Conway about a review, he’s sent on his bike. New Zealand are in all sorts!

28th over: New Zealand 83-4 (Conway 38, Mitchell 0) Robinson replaces Anderson and Conway pulls his loosener to the leg side for one…

27th over: New Zealand 82-4 (Conway 37, Mitchell 0) Three slips and a leg slip as Broad runs in again, and I daresay we see Robinson pretty soon. England don’t have proper pace for this match – if they don’t get 20 wickets, I wonder if wee see Pope keep in the second Test – which makes me wonder how on earth they get Bairstow in in the summer. Another maiden.

26th over: New Zealand 82-4 (Conway 37, Mitchell 0) Anderson’s bowled tightly this morning, but hasn’t looked as threatening as Broad, and Conway comes down to his fourth delivery, looking to mess with his line by shimmying towards the bowler. Maiden, the first of the day.

25th over: New Zealand 82-4 (Conway 37, Mitchell 0) This partnership may well decide whether or not we get a contest here, and England immediately stick in three slips to the new man, who wears his second delivery on the pad. There’s a strangulated appeal, but it’s matter-of-principle, muscle-memory stuff, so no review.

WICKET! Wagner c Robinson b Broad 27 (New Zealand 82-3)

Back in your bin, dirty nappies! After those brief pyrotechnics, Wagner, expecting a short one, is foxed when Broad rolls fingers over a slower one, tamely taps a dolly to midwicket and Robinson, his energy conserved from not bousting after that drive earlier, manages to lift hands and catch. That’s 1000 for Branderson!

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25th over: New Zealand 82-3 (Conway 37, Wagner 27) Nice from Wagner, who flicks the first ball of Broad’s latest over past Foakes’ dive for four to finest leg … then swats the second, banged in short, over square leg for six … and clouts the third via top-edge over wide fine leg for six more! Suddenly those dirty nappies look appealing! The Bazballers are getting momentarily bazballed! Oh, and that mention of Foakes reminds me of some nice news: a mate of mine sat beside Sam Billings on the way to watch Man United in Barcelona today, and reports he’s exactly the to bloke he appears to be.

24th over: New Zealand 66-3 (Conway 37, Wagner 11) Conway shows Anderson the full face and he doesn’t really time it, but Robinson, giving chase, allows it to run to the fence. I guess he’ll have ball in hand soon and it does go quickly down the hill, but I don’t imagine his senior men approve – though both are whippier and more natural athletes than he.

23rd over: New Zealand 62-3 (Conway 33, Wagner 11) Conway clips Broad for two, then takes a single to midwicket. Then Wagner swipes around the corner and picks out Leach, who has four goes at taking the catch before he finally snaffles, then just as England are pulling out the George Peppard cigars to love it when a plan comes together, out comes the umpire’s right hand to signal no ball. Naturally, Broad absolutely doubles over with laughter; he loves this kind of thing.

George peppard as hannibal

22nd over: New Zealand 58-3 (Conway 30, Wagner 11) Conway gets his feet moving, coming down the track, but his flick goes straight to Broad’s sunhat at mid-on. I’ve never been able to decide whether, when I make my d’boo, I’ll wear a cap because it’s traditional, or a sunhat like SJ, because Warne and the West Indians of my childhood did. I’m relaying on the fact that when the tim comes, I’ll make the right call, but in the meantime, Conway again picks out Broad, who makes a terrific stop as they run one, then gets up gingerly strawberry blondely, rubbing his side.

“Gday Danny,” begins Niall Allen, who doesn’t know that I went through a phase, aged about eight, telling people to call me that and now I’m 43, my mates still like calling me it to remind me of my behaviour. “Watching the match while pulling handles in the local for the tradies finishing up for the day in the mount. Ran into a barmy army bloke at Mount Hot pools today about to walk up the mount before the Test, if you’re reading this, i hope you made it up and down and found the beer van to hydrate after your tramp! From a Black Caps fan/barman to the hordes of Barmy Army after the match.”

21st over: New Zealand 57-3 (Conway 29, Wagner 11) “Oh no!” laments Wagner as he swipes uppishly, but he has Robinson lumbering around the rope to save two, then he takes two more also into the on side. Broad, of course, responds with a decent globule that snaps away off the seam, then another, full of length, that moves away and is just too good for a batter of Wagner’s calibre.

20th over: New Zealand 53-3 (Conway 29, Wagner 7) Looking again, that was very close indeed. No matter, Wagner shoves a single to leg and this is shaping up.

“I realise it’s hardly the point you were making,” says Matt Dony, “but on a holiday in Spain a few years ago, I got vaguely obsessed with Boca Bits. They were basically plain Quavers. Which sounds dull, but they were amazing. Incredibly, unhealthily more-ish. Sadly under-stocked in west Wales. Trying to find away to apply them to your metaphor, but this is not the hour for that kind of focussed thinking. I don’t envy you this shift…”

And that’s before you hear that I went to use the facilities just before play started, left the door of the office open, and my wife got out of bed to shut my noise. But nah, having an excuse to sit up and discuss crisps on the internet is a blessing, even if I’m done at 4.20, up at eight to do radio, then enjoying the final day of half-term while cooking for Shabbat.

REVIEW! NOT OUT!

Yup, it pitched just outside and swung away, but it was a fine delivery and was clattering the timber.

20th over: New Zealand 52-3 (Conway 29, Wagner 6) Heeeeeere’s Jimmy! And his loosener goes for runs too, an inside-edge running down to Leach; they run one as a no-ball is called. So Anderson grooves in again, hits the pad, there’s an appeal … and it’s rejected so England review! Did it pitch outside leg, because it looked a fair shout…

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19th over: New Zealand 49-3 (Conway 29, Wagner 4) Broad begins from around and piece of filth on the pads; Conway helps it around the corner, past the dive of Leach – in a catching position at shortish fine leg – for four. A dot follows, then a great delivery that beats the bat … then one that doesn’t, that’s fenced to the fence – past Leach again. An eventful opening over, which I type before it’s final ball is driven for four to long-on.

“We’ve got another grassy oval here,” says Keith Shackleton. “Check out Hagley Oval in Christchurch. None more grassy (except for the Mount).”

Here we go! Broad has the ball…

“So looking forward to this,” emails Dean Kinsella. “Hope I can last the night! I’m wondering what are the chances of the pitch taking spin in the fourth innings. Seems quite a likely position for England to get to in this match. Trouble is i’ts likely to be only about the third day at this rate.”

Gower reckons it won’t become a raging bunsen but will dry out, so even if it doesn’t do loads, it might do enough – and if the pressure’s on, we know what can happen. But England might find bowling harder this morning, with an older ball and without lights.

Tangentially, I can’t say I didn’t muffle a titter thinking about Broad getting woken 17 times in the night to deal with nappies and such, while his mates were carting it all over Pakistan, telling himself he was having the better time. We’ve all been there (without the carting it all round Pakistan FOMO). But mazal tov old mate, wishing you and Molly much naches.

Stuart Broad is chatting to BT and he thinks it’ll be a wobble-seam day, so we probably won’t see his new delivery coming from a new angle with a different body-twizzle, aimed at taking the ball away from the right-handers. It’s a funny thing really, I remember Alex Ferguson saying towards the end of his career that when you’d been around as long as he had, there was always a record on the horizon, and Branderson are on 999 combined Test wickets, two behind the 1001 set by McGrwarne.

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“Bay Oval looks such a chilled out place to be a spectator,” tweets Andrew Benton. “There can’t be many other grounds as grassy, can there?”

It does look lovely. On balance, probably lovelier than a box-room in norf Lahndan.

To keep myself company, I went to the newsagent and bought a silly quantity of munch; naturally I guzzled most of it before I even started blogging and now feel slightly peculiar, but I’m going to push through and dive into my Maltesers. If England are going to play this kind of cricket, the least I can do is support them with requisite calorie-consumption.

David Ivon reckons the weather will hold for us and that the pitch will be alright to bat on today. But he notes that “it’s grass and turf, there will be natural variations”, and given England have SB Pressure in their attack, you never know how things will play, however nice the track is.

“A good watch even at three o’clock in the morning,” says Alastair Cook of the Testvangelists. “I dread to think what people used to say when I was batting a three o’clock in the morning.”

On which point, how would Bazball work if England had him and Jonathan Trott in the top three?

Preamble

I ate some salt n’ vinegar Quavers the other day. Not an interesting piece of information, I know, but stick with me for the tortured analogy shall surely follow. Anyhow, they were pretty good, now that you ask, but they were also wrong – Quavers are meant to taste of cheese. End of. Fact. This. And other cringe-inducing internet vernacular and punctuation.

That is roughly how I feel about England being good at limited-overs cricket. OK, I have at times also felt ecstatic, but in the main, it’s something that is true and tastes good, but that also feels inherently incongruous and unnatural.

England playing the longer-form like this though, is of an entirely different order, because it’s so ... beyond. It’s like being told the Quavers aren’t Quavers, they’re manna, and they don’t taste of salt n’ vinegar, they taste of anything you want them to, which is the best flavour ever, that you haven’t had yet, that makes you see the world with different eyes and experience it with different soul whenever you’re lucky enough to see it cooking. I don’t know, I really don’t.

So yeah, yesterday was another silly day of testvangelism for the Testvangelists, defined by an unexpected decision that made perfect sense – compare it to that time England inserted Australia at the start of the pink-ball match at Adelaide in 2017. Instead they were their usual aggressive selves yesterday, then forced that home with a confrontational declaration, meaning New Zealand have a lot to do today to stay in the contest.

They’ve got a decent chance, obviously – Devon Conway is still in, while Daryl Mitchell and Tom Blundell are to come – but England’s seamers will fancy they’ve got one too. At the end of a preamble, I often find myself writing “this should be good”, a writer’s compulsion kind of thing when I’m refusing to finish without a line that feels like a closer. Today, though, I feel able to say “this is going to be good” ... because England are playing?! Goodness me, people. Goodness me.

Play: 2pm local, 1pm GMT

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